My girlfriend and have have been together for 2 1/2 years now. I am in the military and she is full time student in Nursing school in her Junior year. We have had a few problems, but only a few. She told me tonight that she needed a few days, or a break to think things over. I've heard this is basically an extended break up. We talked for awhile, but she wanted to take a few days off. I think I've brought some of my stress with work and my parents getting a divorce into our relationship. Our problems are only small things nothing that I believe should result in a break. Should I have anything to worry about or could it be both of us being stressed out from school/work and the fact we only see each other 2-3 times a month. Any advice on what I can do to keep her happy? I don't know what I would do without her. Should I be worried?
2006-10-31 17:09:34 · 23 answers · asked by Scottie2Hottie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's not really a good idea
2006-10-31 17:12:10 · answer #1 · answered by ^Daphne^ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, I've found that 'taking a break' is really a cry for help. I think that it means there are a lot more issues that you may not realize... you guys sound like you both have busy schedules so communication may be limited.
I would suggest that you ask her to take a break with you - take her away and spend some quality time together over the weekend - anywhere where it will be just you and her. Then tell her that you want to know what you can do to make things better - you can't read her mind. If she really insists on taking a break then I would be worried...
The best thing to do is to be up front and tell her that you need to know what you can do to make her not want to take a break.. and good luck!
2006-10-31 19:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by westcoastpup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it depends on how bad you want it. If you love her and need her like you say you do you'll find a way to her. Relationships are work. Literally. It's a constant chore you have to pamper and care for. It's possible you're both stressed from work, but no one else can really know that. Only you and her. If you can find the time to talk to her, perhaps that's something you can ask her. Just don't let the tension build up in the conversation. And hey, if she sees you're trying to talk it over and try to make it right... perhaps her needing a break won't be so bad. You will never know unless you both talk.
2006-10-31 17:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by goldnsunrise 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you should be alittle worried here. Being in a realtionship means being exclusive to one another. Anytime someone says they need a break from the relationship, its a good indication that they are getting ready to "move on". Girls especially use this because its easier to have a break and slowly weed off the relationship then to break off ties with you straight away. If you both decide that its best to have a break consider whether your relationship is as strong as it used to be. When you are in a relationship you can't have your cake and eat it too. Its either on or not. Why give someone time to decide whether they want to stay with you or not. Usually, the person who wants a break is thinking about moving on so the best thing to do is to move on as quickly as possible as much as you may still have strong feelings for her. Remember a break usually means that are preparing to move on from you so maybe you should start thinking about your options outside the relationship. Good luck
2006-10-31 17:22:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you can't talk about your problems with your partner then you shouldn't be with her anyway. And not a lot of long distance relationships work out if your only seeing each other a few times a month, you have to be a really solid couple to do this and it sounds like your not. If she's decided on a break go and enjoy yourself, don't let her keep you dangling on a piece of string whilst she makes her mind up.
2006-10-31 22:26:56 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may feel the stress you've added as 'only small things' to your relationship. She may be feeling otherwise. Have you ever heard of the saying regarding the last straw? Perhaps she understandably needs a break. Perhaps you both do.
It does sound as tho your plates are overflowing. If your relationship is strong, it could be the best thing for you both.
Depends on precisely what you BOTH want. I wish you the best!
2006-10-31 17:23:37 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should have a break, that is the beginning of the end. If you have a break, she'll want a few more days or worse want to see someone else.
The fact you have a few problems is common we all do, the thing here is if you hold on too tight she'll want to fly away from you, so, if you allow her more freedom she may well decide a break is not what she actually wants.....
Good luck x
2006-10-31 19:29:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she had said that she wanted an indefinite break, then I would worry. However, she said a few days. That sounds ok to me. Sounds like things have gotten stressful between you two and she just needs some time to cool off and take care of herself emotionally. Respect her need for a short period of space and maybe take one yourself. Hopefully you'll reconnect in a few days, both feeling emotionally refreshed.
2006-10-31 17:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loosely translated she wants a break means that there is someone else she wants to see but doesnt want to cheat. She also doesnt want to kick you to the curb until she sees how this new guy will work out. Being on a break will allow her to see this new guy without the guilt. Everyone has a little baggage coming into a relationship yours doesnt sound terribly bad.
2006-10-31 17:14:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It feels like you need to give her the space - it's an act of trust. You will then be in better shape to ask for her trust in telling you the truth. If the external issues are a factor, then a few goes w/ a marriage counselor can help clarify some of the stickier points.
Whatever the next get together brings, don't push her to sex.
2006-10-31 17:14:08 · answer #10 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she wants call it quits i'm afraid.
This extended break is the first step before telling you that it's just not going to work out.
I wish i had better news, but it sounds like she's going in a different direction to where you thought you were both headed.
Keep trying to communicate with her, but maybe the best way you are going to be able to make her happy, is to sadly, let her go.
You sound so nice, good luck in the future.
2006-10-31 17:15:12 · answer #11 · answered by harttattoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋