Around a year ago I found my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend on Myspace purely by accident. Ever since then I have been obsessing over her. Not over her with him, necessarily, them getting back together would never happen and they only dated for a month anyways. No, I've just been obsessing over everything about her. I've never met the girl. I'd check her myspace for details about her. We talked a little bit, I think she seems horrid. This is why i don't understand why I care. Am I scared of her? I'm so sick of it...I just want to get on with my life. I don't even care what my boyfriend thinks about her, I just want the trick out of MY life. I'm ready to take steps to get rid of this addiction, I just would like some advice on how to go about it. Thank you.
2006-10-31 17:05:42 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think when you check on her in a way you are validating yourself.
Time to go cold turkey, which means.....just
stop it NOW. When a person has a bad habit that needs to be changed it needs to be replaced by another habit...preferable a good habit.
Make a decision of what you will do when you want to check her out.
And in general you probably have an addictive personality and need to watch out for how certian things control you or your lack of control over things.
Time for some self talk and change how you are doing things. Get some counseling if you can.
2006-10-31 17:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's the target of your obsession, but it's not about her, it's about you. She represents something that symbolizes a fear, anxiety, or shortfall that you feel about yourself. In developing a strong relationship for your boyfriend, you have uncovered something about yourself that you are repressing and for some reason, the ex-girlfriend is the way you are acting it out because, maybe, she was "there" first(?) You're not likely to get over this unless you define the problem within yourself. I wonder what would happen if you actually met this ex-girlfriend face to face. Try fantasizing about that and see what develops. Be prepared for some self-revelation and then have the courage to take it head on.
2006-11-01 01:20:12 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you fell or feel much betta!
Tah, I mean that is the question!Only by reading your testimonial, I can deal, I mean, feel a breakup.Not only do you say you don't "care" about her but you also deny the fact that you won't accept her as a threat. When I don't care, I don't care!
I won't accept the fact that you are scared cuz you are a grown up now.Let me just blurt it on to your face darling.
You are scared of her coming back with him behind your back1
I am not saying this to hurt you, but rather to heal you! Are your fears gonna get in the way of something that was meant to be!?
I'lllllll let you decide on that, for I am just a passenger in your dream...
Peace
Spaceman
2006-11-01 01:23:58 · answer #3 · answered by Sherluck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know this is a person that your boyfriend once liked enough to date. You are comparing her to you. You are checking in on her life in a sort of competition. You want to make sure you are doing better than she is. Maybe you aren't necessarily AFRAID of her but by your constant obsession with her you are letting her have control over you. Live your life and let her live hers. Take back control and go have fun.
2006-11-01 01:14:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If they only dated for 1 month, why even bother thinking about her? That's a tiny amount of time. If you have any lingering doubts about your current relationship, maybe checking up on her is just an expression of those doubts. So think about how the relationship is going now with your boyfriend and just focus on that.
2006-11-01 02:47:17 · answer #5 · answered by KatGuy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably beacuse its intresting to have seen someone your boyfriend dated. and you think about the differences between your and her and the similarities and wonder how he could go out with her and you being so different. and its just strange cause you are you smarter than her or funnier. its strange cause you might that your boyfriend dates a certain type of people and you want to know why her then you... i could be totally off. maybe if you had a question about her, just ask your boyfriend. it could be strange at first but it would blow over quickly. stop looking at the profile and picking or comparing or whatever you do while your looking at it. and just think youve probably have nothing to worry about cause it was only a month... i had something close to that happen but i didnt get obsessed with it. i just mentioned things to my boyfriend about her and asked him question about her to him to keep me from wondering, i stoped looking at her profile and it went away eventually.. well good luck
2006-11-01 02:01:27 · answer #6 · answered by face:face 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget her and concentrate on your self, your life, your interests and your boyfriend. Get an interesting hobby and throw yourself whole heartedly into it.
2006-11-01 01:10:20 · answer #7 · answered by Totoru 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
learning about her you learn about yourself
2006-11-01 01:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by q6656303 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋