Can you tell me how this poem sounds?

Question

I have never writeen a poem before, and I am struggling so bad.
Please do not be too harsh, but tips are welcome. Thanks

Sleepless nights,
and endless days.
Weekends turn,
To weeks on end.
Time stands still
When you are all alone
Just left to be.

Cant anyone see
That its bothering me?



I am having such a hard time with these poems!!!! Can someone please tell me how to write an anecdote, and maybe a website that can help me.

Well I expected criticism!!
THANKS!!
I am going to try and make it longer, or my creative writing class.

Sleepless nights,
and endless days.
Weekends turn,
To weeks on end.
Time stands still
When your alone,
Just left to be.

Cant anyone see
That its bothering me?


The days
When everything was ok
Have faded
The good times
didn’t last
And now its
A memory,
Just left to be.

Cant anyone see
That its bothering me?

sorry but the way you worded doesnt convey what the poem personally stands for:)

Answer 1

the poem is great. dont ever let yourself think that its bad. when i first started writing i used to think my stuff was never good enough. so everything i wrote got crumbled and dumped in the trash. boy, was that a mistake. you may struggle with writing because that may not be your thing, just let it come from the heart. and dont be afraid to speak your mind.

Answer 2

I have written many thousands of poems and am considered by others to be somewhat good so I hope my comments are helpful to you...

Lines 1& 2 are a little too staid and boring.... try and think of a new way of sayig those very hackneyed lines...

Lines 3 & 4 are brilliant... I love the way you have turned this around and it has a very chiasmatic feel to it... check out a web search on chiasma to see what I mean about that...

lines 5, 6, & 7 are good but still a little hackneyed

lines 8 & 9 are likewise good but a little too well used..

The overall feel of the poem is good and with a little more thought it could shift from being a god poem to being an excelent one...

I am presuming that you are quite young and if so I would suggest that you continue on writing poetry as you do have quite a flair for it...

Enjoy the process and have fun...

An anecdote is simply a little story usually with some kind of message.... check the meaning out in a good dictionary nd you will pick it up easily how to write one...

Best of luck with it..

Answer 3

Mother Mother you are the life of my eyes, you are the person who I can put my trust, Mother Mother hear my voice there is nothing I can feel fear that to lose you one day.. Mother Mother I know one day u have to leave this world.. Mother Mother if you leave this world, I will always have you inside of my heart till the end of my days in this planet

Answer 4

daylight is here
then
dusk surrounds
we are learning
and growing and
will never be anymore than
the sum total of ourselves
Can't anyone see
That its bothering me?

Note: Your poem is very good

Answer 5

Hi. I, for one, like it.

Answer 6

HEY THAT WAS GOOD, I LOVE POEMS, BUT I CAN'T WRITE THEM. REALLY THAT WAS VERY GOOD !!!!!!!