My boyfriend and I have been together nearly a year. For awhile now I am always the one who asks for sex and he puts it off a few times before he finally gives in. He seems into it when we do it but not really excited about it. I doubt that he is sleeping with anyone else because I'm with him most of the time and I don't notice anything suspicious. I want to be exciting to him and enticing, not be a chore to have sex with. I try to suggest new things and ask him what his fantasies are but he never really answers me or says "i don't know". We are on vacation in a tropical location and tonight we went to a sex shop at my suggestion and got toys and a video and he ended up going to bed early saying his stomach hurt. I don't think he was trying to get out of it, but at the same time I don't think using the new toys mattered too much to him.
This is getting me down a lot and I've tried everything. Any ideas?
2006-10-31 15:52:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't think he's gay since we've had a good sex life when we first got together. I doubt i'm ugly to him because he wanted me to begin with.
2006-10-31 15:59:53 · update #1
could this dude be gay? or are you ugly? I couldn't think of a good reason for this guy not to want sex.
2006-10-31 15:56:15 · answer #1 · answered by jrnh5150 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I can understand your problem, its really hard not to have what you want.
Any way, I think the place where you are going wrong is that, you are always near him. I know its hard to go away from the person you love. but try it you just stay a little bit far away, and you will see that he will come to you. i can say this because opposits attract. Try it.
2) If that doesn't work, dont talk abt sex with him, U just go to sleep early, and be a little attractive then you will see that after some time he will come and want to have sex with you.
Don't show him that you are interested in sex..
I feel this will work.
I know this too suggestion are a bit toygh, but y not give it a try..
Best of luck......
2006-10-31 16:02:43 · answer #2 · answered by Jhonnyhitlercool 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi sweet girl,
I may not be able to give you solution, but i can help you find a way out.
If you want to the relationship to work and get better follow these steps:
First of all, men are more emotional than they show up. So, find out if he has got any hurt feelings with you. May be one of your comment about his family or about his looks or something silly could have hurt him and he has a tough time talking about it. Sit with him and probe him about his feelings about you and get him to talk.
Secondly, he seems to avoid sex with you. That could be because of his fears about passing a discease like "AIDS!" to you. Or may be he is hurting inside due to some physical problem he is unable to come up and discuss with you as he is afraid, he might loose you. Or loose his respect. If this is the case re-assure him that you love him no-matter what.
It could also because he is probably guilty of doing something behind your back?!? - I don't know just ask him plainly. One interesting thing about guys is that, they can not escape direct and probing questions. Ask him plain and direct questions do not beat around the bush. They just can't take hints. They won't understand signs a women put on in her body language. They need to be communicated as plain as possible in words.
Sometimes they may have a mis-communicated beleif, "too much sex not good for health" or some superstition
In my experience, getting him to talk would be the best blockbuster. A guy should be falling for it the the site of your one sight. If he is not, then there is something majorly blocking him.
If you think this is too much, and you can't get him to talk, better leave him alone. Let him work out his problem in his own shell and come out successfully. One famous book suggest that men can solve their problems better when they are alone. So give him the freedom. Tell him to take a trip to some far place just all alone may be for a week.
When he comes back, he might be changed totally.
But with all this nothing works, probably he needs a professional help. Take him to a good Psycologist.
Wish you all the best!
2006-10-31 16:40:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey lady, sex isn't the only way to show your love for this guy or him to you. Gary Chapman says there are "Five Love Languages" and personal touch is only one. It's a good simple book to read for all couples. However, maybe he wants to get married before he has more sex with you for fear of getting you pregnant. Why not try talking to him about that eventuality?
2006-10-31 16:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's the two a) emotionally tied to you yet dishonest on you using fact he's sexually overvalued for yet another female, and needs the warmth cuddles and kisses nevertheless b) he's experienced a drop in testosterone, or he's under pressure (which makes intercourse experience extra like a chore, it is rather uncomplicated if he's working on his occupation-and his overall performance interior the mattress room might make him weary) c) you have reached a factor the place intercourse is now no longer the concern. The intercourse in my dating has died off in basic terms using fact rigidity/ailment has damped us somewhat. If we are in a sturdy temper, guffawing and that, we oftentimes have intercourse. d) he's depressed. oftentimes adult men journey a drop of their sexpersistent while they develop into depressed. attempt to brazenly communicate with him. Make your self much less sexually accessible to him, do no longer point out it for a week or extra, then slowly do a strip tease in front of him while he's in a comfortable, calm temper (like a saturday night). you additionally can attempt putting out with acquaintances at a bar or eating place to objective and get him to ease up, circulate to a action picture, etc-the extra he's comfortable, the extra probable he's to need intercourse.
2016-10-21 01:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by saggio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the problem Pretty... Why is it that women always want to talk??? Instead of talking you need to jump start this dude. Load up this guy's gun using some stimulating oral techniques. When he's hard, don't pressure him, just continue to stimulate him. After a few days of this, he will become aggressive and take control. In the meantime, pleasure yourself by knowing you are in complete control of his pleasure.
2006-10-31 16:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if U have to ask all the time
if U want to buy sex toys
if U want to watch a porn video
there is deff. something wrong with him.
doesn 't mean he 's gay, but maybe was abussed as a child ??
(regarding the first 3 lines.... he should be a lucky guy)
2006-10-31 16:01:41 · answer #7 · answered by Deprie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That where in a relationship sex does matter. You both have to have the same sex drive. Or aleast close to it. Relationship don't work when one person wants sex more than the other.
2006-10-31 15:59:01 · answer #8 · answered by kira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he just doesn't like sex that much, or maybe he has issues he's dealing with. Or quite possibly he's having sexual identity issues. By any chance have you put a little weight on recently?
2006-10-31 15:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him.
Kind of the same thing happened to me and after I left him, he was so horny. we got back together ( mistake) but now he always wants sex. Weird but true.
2006-10-31 16:56:08 · answer #10 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋