I am not a parent of a teen, i am a 17 year old daughter of my parents, anywho... what on earth do you guys mean when you say to kids " i love you, but i don't like you!" my mom said this to me, and i dont see the logic in it...isn't likeing someone a feeling that would come before love, so therefore if you love someone, dont you automatically like them :S Parents are soooo confusing, say what u mean, mean wut u say!
2006-10-31 15:45:55 · 13 answers · asked by prettyinpink<3<3 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I am not a parent of a teen but I understand what she is saying.
Being a parent isn't about gradually loving someone. It's not about liking someone before loving them. From the minute you were born--conceived even--you're mother loved you unconditionally. You can love someone and not like their behavior.
Here are the definitions of the two words.
Like--1. vt enjoy: to regard something as enjoyable 2. vt consider pleasant: to regard somebody as pleasant and enjoy that person’s company
Unconditional love--with no conditions or limitations: complete or guaranteed, with no conditions, limitations, or provisos attached very strong affection: an intense feeling of tender affection and compassion
As you can see, the words are two different things with two totally different meanings. While your mom may not like your behavior or find it enjoyable--she will always love you regardless of how nasty or un-enjoyable you are.
I really hope this helps. I thought the easiest way was to break it up--showing you what each meant and then explaining the irrelevance to one another. Your mom will ALWAYS love you. That means if someday you are a crack head--she may not approve of your behavior but she'll always love you no matter what good or bad decisions you make in life. Best of Luck!
2006-10-31 15:55:46 · answer #1 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents will ALWAYS love you no matter what you do or what choices you make. However, they may not like your ACTIONS and disagree with something you do or say. So they can love the human being that they have worked so hard to raise, but not like what is happening at that moment in time.
I have a 4 year old son and sometimes he can be downright MEAN (especially to our cats) and sometimes I will think that I don't like him very much at that moment. In other words that's not a little boy that I would want to spend time with. Then I talk to him about his actions and why it's important for him to be nice and gentle and it's all better. But despite that all, I would still throw myself in front of a moving train to save him and I will sob hysterically the night that he moves out of the house and is "on his own."
Next time your mom says this, ask her right at that moment. "What do you mean by that?" See if she can pinpoint the action or item that is upsetting her right then. Come out and tell her that it hurts your feelings when she says something like that. You might end up having a very good conversation with her.
2006-11-01 00:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by capanda.geo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent and once a teen, I agree that this statement can be confusing. The "I love you" part is easy to understand. The "but I don't like you" part means to me that I do not like how you are acting right now. Also it can refer to something you have done to the parent like lied or hurt her feelings. The next step is to fix it before the sun goes down. Don't put it off or slide the issue under the rug. This will only make it a permanent scar between you two.
2006-11-01 00:21:29 · answer #3 · answered by Ami Lynn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I wouldn't ever say that to my daughter - cause I love her AND I like her.
I love her because she is my child and there is a special sort of love that Moms have for their daughters - or their should be. I would always "have her back" against the nastieness of the world.
I like her because she is a neat person to be around - she makes me laugh, I am proud of the person that she is becoming and she is an all around really good person. I enjoy spending time with her, though God knows I wouldn't want to spend all my time with her - nor (thankfully) would she want to spend all her time with me.
I love my husband - but do I like him? No, not really. There isn't much there to like anymore. We no longer have much in common, don't talk much (unless I want to hear about his work), he doesn't care to listen to anything I say (ie. jokingly I said I almost got arrested and he said "that's good"), no longer have the same interests, etc. Why I still love him, I don't really know, but I do.
So yeah, you can love someone and not like them, strange as that sounds.
2006-10-31 23:57:28 · answer #4 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I raised SEVEN, count 'em, SEVEN teenagers. I LOVED everyone of them but some I honestly LIKED better than the others. I mean this...I would have DIED for any one of them...how many people will you ever meet who love you THAT much. I was GLAD that every one of them was born and would not have sent one of them back if I could have. But some of them were more honest, mutually loving, more focused on their futures, and just loved themselves more and were less self destructive so I LIKED WHO THEY WERE more as people, found more JOY in their presence. I hope this makes some sense. Anyway, part of growing up is realizing that the people you love whether they are your parents or your kids are just the way they are and you deal with it.
2006-11-01 00:33:01 · answer #5 · answered by ckswife 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom was a little harsh but i think I know what she means.Sometimes teens don't see how much danger is in the world.I love my kids but sometimes they do things that I don't like.No one "likes" someone who is disrespectful or mouthy or doing things that could harm themselves.She should have said that she doesn't like the way your acting,which could be understood.My daughter recently got into trouble with drugs and put herself in a very bad situation.I sure wasn't happy with her but i still loved her.Sometimes you can dislike the way a loved one behaves.Hope this helps.
2006-10-31 23:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by hippiegirl672003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This means that she loves you because you are her daughter and she will always love you. However, she does not like the way you are acting at all. It means the person who you currently are, or at least the person your behavior indicates is not a likable person to her. You've surely met people you just don't like. You, due to your teenage behavior, are one of those people your mother doesn't like. She says she loves you because she truly does and she doesn't want you to continue to be this person you are currently behaving as. Try to work this out together, these are tough times. Good luck
2006-11-01 00:29:07 · answer #7 · answered by suzyQ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a parent, but this is what she means:
You're her daughter, of course she loves you. She'd never want anything bad to happen to you and would do anything to keep you safe and happy. But she dislikes the person you are, or certain aspects of your personality. Are there certain things you should improve about yourself?
My mother used to say the same thing about my sister (who was into drinking, drugs, sleeping around. You get the picture).
2006-10-31 23:50:23 · answer #8 · answered by Me 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
many times parents say things out of frustration w/teens.
Sometimes we like you, sometimes we don't.
The like deals more with.....you're attitude rather than the love they have for the child that they birthed.
So yes, parents can - "not like you", but love you at the same time.
S
2006-10-31 23:53:15 · answer #9 · answered by sophistcated1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It means that they love you, but don't like you or, more likely, don't like being around you or don't like the way you act or something you do. You can love someone without liking them.
2006-11-01 01:07:17 · answer #10 · answered by Strange Design 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋