i met this guy a while ago and he is so sweet and fun to be around. well we went with a few friends to hang out and while we were there he pulled out a cigarette and started smoking. then got his friend to go buy them some alchohol. i had no idea he did stuff like that! i don't want to be around him when he does it. but he is overall a great person! and something is telling me that i need him or he needs me. i have no idea, i am really confused. what do i do?
2006-10-31 15:24:33 · 14 answers · asked by SamSam B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If you genuinely care for him, then let him know what he is doing is not only hurting himself, but also those who care about him as well. If he refuses to listen, you may have to resort to something drastic, such as turning him in. He may not like you for doing it, but sometimes love hurts both sides. God's wisdom as you deal with this very delicate and serious matter.
2006-10-31 15:29:20 · answer #1 · answered by rhino 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats tough.I did however think when you said drugs it was something illegal.I am a smoker and occasional drinker and am aware that not everyone I hang out with does the same.Tell him how you feel.If is a good friend he wont do these things around you.Although smoking is a nasty habit, its not a friendship breaker.Just because he smokes and drinks doesnt make him a bad person.Unless hes a drunk- then he needs help.How old is he?I hope hes of age...
2006-10-31 15:29:18 · answer #2 · answered by TJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought when you said drugs that you meant cocaine, etc. You are merely talking about cigs and something to drink. Now I'm not justifying what he is doing because in all reality, if it bothers you in any way then you should disassociate yourself from him. But what he is doing is not all that bad. It could be alot worse. If you really like him and want to be with him, ask him to cut back some. He might tell you to "go fly a kite," but then at least you'll know where you stand.
2006-10-31 15:30:51 · answer #3 · answered by shellese2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
many people who drugs are wonderful people.
My youngest son used drugs and had a drinking problem. He died when he was 21 years old. People adored him. But, he made some really bad choices which turned him in to someone he never was before. The saddest things is the friends who enabled him. They didn't stand up to him.
My concern with you is that if you hang around him you might join him in this activity.
Now, what can you do about this. Refuse to be around him when he uses. Encourage him to quit.
If things get bad, you maybe need to talk to an adult that you trust. Your firend minght need rehab.
2006-10-31 16:11:48 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You will become like the people you hang with, so if you don't want to do all of that stuff then you need to dump him now and find a new crowd to hang with. It will be hard but in the future you will be glad. And you really don't want to get mixed up in drugs. Make the right choice. good luck.
2006-10-31 15:33:58 · answer #5 · answered by tina 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try talking to him. Ask him what he gets out of doing drugs, why he does it and what he thinks about doin it. If he understands that drugs are bad, then maybe you can talk him out of it. Usually people do it from peer pressure since they wanna "fit in" with a certain group. So get him alone, then ask him, because if he's with his friends, he'll blow you off. But when he's alone, he'll tell the truth because he won't be scared of getting heard by his friends. Then whatever he says, promise him you won't tell anyone, since this will build trust.
2006-10-31 15:32:10 · answer #6 · answered by stonecold448 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People learn in their own time by their own mistakes and almost always without intervention from others. You have to accept what he does is part of him and he may or may not change for the better in this lifetime. You might learn something from him about who you are, but don't waste too much time on his problems as life gives us plenty of our own to sort out. You can still know him, but also be open to finding people more like yourself and more likely to keep you smiling.
2006-10-31 15:49:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello!
Humans needs companions. Why don't you stick by his side through thick or thin. If he starts smoking or drinking, tell him that you don't like it. Say that you care for him. Say that these things bring no benefits. All you've got to do is to be with him. Don't abandon him. Later on, if he realise that what he is doing is wrong and bad for him, he'll thank you for staying by his side.
Constant reminder. =) Good Luck!
2006-10-31 15:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by Kurniawan A 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that if you want to continue this relationship that you shoul get over it. But if it really does bother you then don't hang out with him. Wise people have told me that you can't chnge people. People can change themselves. The real question is will you stay with him?
2006-10-31 15:27:32 · answer #9 · answered by HikariTaiyou 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if that kind of behavior turns you off then you can either tolerate it or move on. You really can't change him especially since you're not in a relationship.
2006-10-31 15:28:24 · answer #10 · answered by ixi26c 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋