Why am I alone in my fear of death?

Question

I find that religious people and agnostics /atheists don't fear death
(from the people I have talked to). Religious people believe they will survive their own death and enter eternal bliss, and atheists/Agnostics don't seem to care either way . I am also bothered by the fact that everything I love will come to pass forever one day and that the universe is indifferent to anything I care about. And my own life will end and I will be thrown into oblivion. Are my fears irrational or does anyone feel the same way?

Answer 1

I am not sure. You stumped me on this one.

Answer 2

I don't think your fears are irrational... we are all scared of something. And we all create meaning in different ways... whether it is in how we worship, or in how we treat people. This isn't much of an "answer" but I think you'll be able to reduce your feelings of fear by perhaps figuring out how you want to live. Do you live for the destination or the ride? Do you enjoy the scenery on the way, or worry that change is just around the bend?

"Nothing is permenant except change" (Voltaire).

I have searched through many different faiths/philosophies to try to find a place where I fit... from the Catholic church to Buddhism, to the sweatlodge. And believe it or not, i find comfort in a song by the Indigo Girls... 'the less I seek my source for some definitive, the Closer I am to Fine". And here's an AMAZING book... "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" by Richard Bach. These may leave you with more questions.... but they probably won't be the same ones. :)
Take care of yourself and keep searching... you have your own answers inside of you. - Andrea

Answer 3

You are not alone in your fear of death. But your definition of death is what makes you fear. To you, death is the absolute end.
Religious people believe that it is not the absolute end, that the soul will go on. Only the physical body will become one with the Earth again.
Agnostics don't care, because to them the absolute end is just that and why worry when you are living? Enjoy the present moment. They are not attached to the outcome of life, but to the journey that they are on.
Do you like your fears? Do you cling to them? If it is hindering your quality of life, then they are irrational. All you need to do is start cultivating a love for life, and be grateful for all the moments of experiencing life: the good and the bad.
Everything you love will come to pass no matter if you are fearful or joyful: you can choose how you want to feel. Clinging to it only feeds your fear. Smile as it passes and say, wow! I got to experience that in my life. How did it affect me? Did I become a better person? Do I enjoy life more because of it (even though it has passed)? And even the bad experiences influences us in life (the stuff you don't love).
Thrown into oblivion at the end of life. My brain can not comprehend that. Is oblivion a bad place to go after one has left the physical body? the physical body that feels things? the physical body whose ego is always in control? I think I can somewhat contemplate that since I may have experienced in a deep meditative trance which I didn't feel anything. It wasn't a bad experience, but my ego and body did care being left out.
You can start to cultivate joyfulness in your life by looking at it in a different way. Read books on the subject. Read all of them till they click with your spirit and start to feel not so alone.

Answer 4

I think most people fear death--we fear the unknown, we fear being forgotten--that everything we love and believe in won't matter after we're gone. Irrational?? Not necessarily, but certainly not worth losing sleep over. We have no control over this--so we pass our ideas, values, beliefs-whatever-on to the ones we love. If we're thrown into oblivion we may not even know it, if there is an eternal bliss -- Goody!! Make the most of your time here on earth, try to make a difference somewhere, even if it's just a little one to a single person.

Answer 5

No, no, your fears are not irrational because they are based on reality. You are not alone in this fear by no means.

You see people who don't seem to care, you'll notice they often deal with it through humour....in fact I do the same thing! I'll say oh just chuck me in the rubbish bin or leave me sitting in my favourite armchair. We always joke about what we fear if we can't face the fear.

I think to think about death rationally is no bad thing because it is a way of coming to terms with it.

The way I look at it is by the time I die, hopefully I will have had a good life on this planet and it's turn for others to experience this world. If none of us ever died the world would be overpopulated and cease to exist. So it's just a question of turn taking.

If you think about things too deeply you really can freak yourself out. I have done that.

The main thing is to spend your time here wisely and use every day to the best. See I think that when the time comes to die I'll be in so much pain it will be a relief to sleep.

If your thoughts are interfering with your life then see if you can get some counselling. Often these kind of thoughts start taking over at a time when we are anxious about other things going on.

I do personally know others who share your fear and one who thinks about it constantly so you are not alone.

Answer 6

I'm sure a lot of people think about death and will not admit it, but you can't live in fear of it, because its inevitable. Its going to happen whether we like it or not. Personally I think fear is an enemy, their is nothing to fear about anything. If we go around fearing things you may not find something you really like doing. You feel like theirs a weight on your shoulders, but everything is cool, just be righteous and do your best. Understanding the universe is understanding that everything in the universe must come to an end. Your fears are not irrational, but you will eventually realize your fears may only hold you back.

Answer 7

Having been thrown out of my body twice whilst in hospital some years ago, I know that there actually is Life after the body dies. This knowledge is a wonderfully calming thing, and I have absolutely NO fear of dying. I have met my guide, know him, and am ready to go when the time comes. Having no fear of death means that I enjoy LIFE much more. I can now SEE what is actually out there not through rose coloured glasses but what actually IS. I Love it!

Answer 8

I feel the same way you do. I'm scared that people I love are going to die some day. And I'm afraid that things I used to have, say when I was a kid, have gone away forever and I will never get them back. I will never live in my parents' home again. I'll never get that excited and scared feeling when Halloween comes and I got to go Trick-or-Treating. That feeling that Santa Claus is real will never be recovered. But not only things like that, relationships that can never be the same, all kinds of things.

But what I try to remember is that even though those things are gone, that hopefully there are different but equally good things to come.

Answer 9

you know what? go turn to hinduism or buddhism. they believe in reincarnation and life after death. however, they believe that samsara, the eternal cycle of life and death and life and death, is horrible and that existence is suffering. So in a sense that does explain fear of death and fear of birth. In both the religions they believe that attachment to things in your life, such as the things that you love, lead to suffering. Also they believe that "karma," sanskrit for "action" leads to consequences and inaction, "akarma," also leads to consequences. So, your dammed if you do and your dammed if you dont. So yeah, i swear, you should check out Buddhism and Hinduism, you would probably find a lot of answers that you are looking for there. I'm not converting you though just to let you know, but a lot of the theories that they teach make a lot more sense that Catholicism, Judaism, Islam or Christianity. They dont believe in a supreme and absolute being which seems a little farfetched, they believe that everyone including gods are trapped in the cycle of samsara and are trying to get out.

Answer 10

I also fear death but perhaps for different reasons. I just can't seem to imagine what will happen after death, if anything. I was raised with religious beliefs but being a realist I can't get my head around the teachings of the church.

Answer 11

I think that religious people fear death the most, that is why they invent a heaven to give them comfort - - atheists and agnostics fear it also, because for them there is a nothingness, similar to your fears - - so, that takes in about everyone huh? Yep, I think we got it... I think we all fear the unknown on some level and to varying extents... good question..