I've been dating an amazing man for a year. He's considarate,funny, sexy, affectionate, intellegent, and successful. he makes me feel like the most important thing in the whole wide world, we laugh and talk for hours, and i never thought sex could be so amazing. the problem? he's53 and am 27.and no,i'm not looking for a father figure. he looks 40 and is in better shape than most 30yrs olds. he has the most wonderful family, but two of his four kids are about my age, which makes me unconfortable. i wonder what it will be like if we have kids, worry that i'll end up alone, and dread the constant comments over the years,"oh,is that ur father?" and "i guess u found ur sugar daddy."
2006-10-31 14:45:31 · 11 answers · asked by g2daezo 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
If you really love him, the comments will not bother you. You may not have a long life together, but it will be quality time. Make sure his financial situation and insurance will take care of you and any children you may have. It can work.
You know, there are no guarantees in life. No one knows what his or her lifespan will be. You may not outlive him.
2006-10-31 14:50:06 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not listen to what other people might say.
Secondly they may be jealous. The only thing you owe is to yourself. Sex is not everything in a marriage. You say there is a problem...the age difference. Well if you see it that way then you will be the one making it a problem. He has 2 kids your age and that bothers you...I feel they must have a life of thir own and would not
matter unless you are attracted to one of them. You never said if they were male or female. Why be uncomfortable about their ages...they are not gonna go away. You either fit in or you don't, you have to decide that. You are planing things ahead of time like the sugar daddy thing and being alone with a baby to raise. Just because your boyfriend is older does not mean necessarily he will die first. Either you love the guy 100%
or leave him. You need to grow up more before you two discuss any wedding plans.
2006-10-31 23:01:57 · answer #2 · answered by Lore 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I married my sexy fit hubby when I was 25 and he was 45 and had to deal with those comments aseveral times. It does get funny after a few times. You will realize some people just say those things to be ignorant; mayber a bitter x-wife who's husband left her and later married a younger woman.
Anyway, Once I got past 30,( him 50) people seemed to treat us more like a same age couple. I think once your in your 30's people don't care how old your spouse is. Or maybe the age difference is less noticable.
But, anyway, you will probably get many rude comments from bitter x-wives like I did. We figured it out because the guys didn't seem to say those things much. I would just say, "yes, he's the best dad and plant a juicy kiss on the lips." Try that, you will have fun then. Take care. By the way, our 9th anniversary is this month.
2006-10-31 22:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer I 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am kind of in the same situation. My boyfriend is 10 yrs older than I am. I know one couple that are 25 yrs apart. I kind of think that if you really love him and really cherish the time that you have with him those comments won't bother you. I get the comments like, "Is this your brother?" I know the feeling! I just know that I love my man so much that it doesn't matter what people say! You don't get much time on this planet. The time you do have you should "Dance like no body's watching! and love like it's never gonna hurt!!!" The kids... I don't k now what to say about that. My man doesn't want kids. Maybe yours would be the same situation? But if not, and you end up having kids Just think that after he is gone, you will have someone to remember him by. I know everything will work out for you and I hope the best for you!!!
2006-10-31 23:00:41 · answer #4 · answered by Worm!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Despite how wonderful he sounds, he is still a little creepy for dating a girl his children's age. You say you're not looking for a father figure, but that's exactly what he is. And to him, you're just proof that he's a stud- you show his friends that he can still get it up.
Yep, people are going to make comments, and you'll feel like a kid when you're around his friends and their wives. You won't have much in common with people your parents' age. He'll most likely be dead long before you, and he probably won't live to see any kids you have together graduate high school. He'll be a grandpa before you and he have a baby.
Meanwhile, he's sleeping with you without any commitment or promise for the future. Not so "considerate" to me. And not at all "amazing" either. He should be ashamed of himself.
2006-10-31 22:59:28 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds wonderful. Here's the real scary part;
When you're 53 he'll be 79. When you're 43 he'll be 69. No mater how wonderful, no matter how healthy, his paradigm will be significantly different than yours. It's a question of living together and complementing each other. With such an age difference... it's bound to leave you both empty.
2006-10-31 22:53:32 · answer #6 · answered by Common Sense 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling,
There are no moral laws, people, or etc. that can say who you should love or not. The awkwardness will pass. Trust me, it was VERY awkward with my step-family especially with a mentally ill mother etc. (I could tell you SO much more). But like most would say...
If you really love him, embrace the fact that he loves you, only you, and that this chance to be together with each other is open for you to take. Nothing is better than finding the one you truly love, and the on that truly loves you. Consider yourself to be blessed. I think you know that. I just don't want to sound like Dr. Phil explaining all the nitty gritty details but you know what I'm saying.
2006-10-31 22:59:37 · answer #7 · answered by paperclip 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grab the opportunity with both hands. He is too good to lose. To hell with the rest of the world
2006-10-31 22:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by maggie_at0303 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't fall for him. You should have a real family life of your own. you should me a man of your age and start a new family. Don't get involve start FRESH. Your children need a Daddy and a Mommy. GBY
2006-10-31 22:55:16 · answer #9 · answered by Second Son 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Love him today, tomorrow he could be gone or you could. Relationships...the good ones don't last forever.
2006-10-31 23:04:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋