Baby daddy drama???

Question

About 9wks ago I went to a party at a friends house. It was only my 3rd time getting drunk, so I got there REALLY fast, and it hit me HARD. I ended up blacking out, and the next day I find out that someone who was supposidly my friend had taken advantage of me. I consider it as this, bc i have no recolection of what happened. The others that were there just told me that he helpd me up bc i was on the floor and was gonna lay me down but he didnt come back to the party for awhile. then he told me that we were both drunk and that it was an accident. i ended up missing my next period and I dont ***** unless im in a relationship and i wasnt, so i knew it was his. He told me if i didnt kill it wed stop b n friends. I told him abortions wrong woo woo woo. and i didnt care if we stopd b n friends bc friends dont do what he did to me. So now we dont talk. Its gonna cost money to take him to court for child support rite? i need advice. ANY KIND. words of wisdom...whatever. im only 18 and im very

very scared.

I dont know if this was rape though? i cant remember what happened. weve been friends for awhile, and i know that he liked me and all but he respected me when i said that i dont mess around unless its a serious relationship that i can see going somewhere. i dont want to get him arrested for rape, just bc i cant remember what happened. bc he did say that i didnt fight or resist or anything, but thats not me to just sleep with someone. i just dont remember what happened. but he is being an as.s sayn kill the baby or were not friends, so maybe he did, and thats why he wants me to get rid of any evidence. I DUNNO!

to the jasmine ***** that wrote that comment: i know who did it bc he SAID he did it. and others saw him taking me to lay down in the room and noticed he was gone for a while. i dont even watch soap operas. i have a life, unlike you. maybe you should go to church and find Jesus. and maybe work on your reading skills bc all the facts are plain as day in the description.

Answer 1

It is your decision whether or not you want to keep the baby. Just remember that you are only 18 and there is no way you are financially stable to support yourself and a baby. It is alot of work but it can be done. If you don't care about losing him as a friend, then I would keep it. You could always give it up for adoption to a couple who can not have children but desperately want one. That would be the best gift you could give your unborn child.
Abortion is wrong...if you want to convince your friend how horrible it is tell him to go to www.abortionno.com. That will for sure change his mind...I cried when I saw it.
Just remember that a baby means waking up every 2 hours to feed, burp, and change it, going to work after a night of no sleep, buying a whole new wardrobe for it every season because they grow out of old clothes, insurance for it, food/formula, diapers, car seats, strollers, crib, toys, toys, and more toys, and daycare. And that's not even the end of the list.
Think this through, talk with your family and friends, and plan. If you're going to have this baby you need to plan for it financially.
Continue with school, get a degree, and live your life how YOU want to.

Answer 2

If you were violated like that, you should've contacted the police, and let them know he violated you. I know someone with a similar situation. Now it might be too late depending on the amount of time that passed. But even if you didn't follow fully through, you should've filed a complaint or something. You just have to be careful in the future not to get in a situation where you are not in control, and you lost control when he took advantage of you because you got drunk and you blacked out. And where were your friends at when you passed out... And he can't tell you what to do with your body. You do what you feel is right. Under the circumstances since you were taken advantage of, you could get an abortion, but don't do it because he told you to. To hell with him. How is he gonna put your "friendship" over a baby that he help make. No honey, you don't need money to take him to child support court. After the baby is born, you need to go to the department of family and children services in your state and go to the child support division, and they will make you fill out paperwork, subpoena his a.s.s. to take a dna test, and then they will mail you the results, or you can take him to court and the judge can order him that. and then if it concludes he is the father, than they will be on his a.s.s. for some support. If he is a real man he'll pay for it, and if he doesn't, they'll give you some money, but until everything is situated, they'll go after him for the money they gave you on his behalf. But honey. don't be scared. Just get a good support system going, and you would be surprised how many people lend a hand to you when you got a baby. It's not being a charity case, but when you got a baby, you'll need all the help you can get with anything and everything.

Answer 3

Yeah ... i see your point on that, but he did have sex with you against your will... regardless if you were drunk. But you might wanna be careful on the drunk thing being 18 because you can get into some trouble there.

I'd say ditch the loser. He's no friend girly. I know you don't want him to go to jail, but what he did was WRONG. I think you should get on medicaid to get your bills taken care of, get on prenatal health, and when the baby is born, have themdo a DNA test to prove it is his and have child support set up. He might run from the law though. Some men are jerks like that (I said SOME men, not all men).

Im so sorry that happened to you. Good for you for not aborting the baby - you are giving the baby a chance at life. I wish you the best of luck in everything girl.

Answer 4

First of all, I applaud your bravery and your choice to keep your child rather than create an innocent victim.

I'm sure you're scared. I hope you have solid parents because you need to tell them what happened. You also need to never get drunk again and to avoid these types of situations! That should be easier to do when you're a mother taking care of a little baby. He's helping you already...

As for your former "friend", he should take responsibility but you have to gauge whether support payments are worth having him be in your lives anymore. If you do seek support from him through the courts, they'll give you legal aid if you can't afford it. Just don't lower yourself any more by going all "Maury Povich" on him, screaming and yelling and so forth. Nothing good comes of that.

I don't know all the details of the incident that night or of your relationship with your former friend but think long and hard as to whether you're prepared to ruin the rest of the guy's life with a rape charge. I would have a hard time doing this.

Confronting him with the fact that you could press charges and asking him what this would mean to his life (criminal conviction for rape, years of hard time in jail, sexual predator label)... that would scare the hell out of him. Showing some mercy can go a long way and you may find that he and his family are so grateful that they step up and help support that child. Grace can work miracles. It's sad we don't see much of it these days but consider the waves made by the forgiveness of the Amish community that recently had several of their beautiful children senselessly murdered. They took an unspeakable act and through God's grace made the world a little better through their reaction to it. Something to think and pray about.

In addition to telling your parents, I advise you to seek professional help from a crisis pregnancy center. Avoid Planned Parenthood like the plague. They're not a true health service. Their business is selling abortions and that's what their people are trained to do. Don't get sucked in.

Instead, seek out some compassionate help from your local church or one of these resources that share your respect for life and acknowledge the truth about pregnancy, abortion and abortion's harmful effects:
* OptionLine: 800-395-HELP
* http://www.priestsforlife.org/crisis.html

May God bless you and keep you and give you the gift of a healthy child.

Sincerely,
Robert

Answer 5

young. you are very young and you have made a mistake by getting drunk. someone took advantage of you because you are young. first of all you know you could pursue rape charges against him if you wanted too. ya know. well if you dont and you really ant to keep the baby. but first i would look at every option. you can put the baby up for adoption, ok abortion is out of the question. ok so you have the baby. then you go and talk to the any social servbice department where you lie, you get on wic, to get free formula and milk and cereal. you go on welfare to start getting your prenatal vitamins and get a obj doctor. you tell your family and friends to get a support system going. yu go on with your life and the baby;s life and find your way in college to create a better life (for the two of you) you take one day at a time, and continue to praise your higher power for help and guidance. you never ever give up. whew not even if you eat oodles of noodles for a month until you have money in your pocket knowing that the person who is writing you and countless other strong women have down exactly what i just wrote. ok?

Answer 6

You can go to social services and get them to help with child support but it will cost you. In Colorado its twenty dollars. Another thing is that it takes a long time. They have to find the guy then establish paternity and go to court. Sometimes this takes a year or more. The good news is that you will get back pay for the time he hasn't paid. Good Luck!

Answer 7

What happened to you is absolutely rape. But forget about that, you don't need the added drama of charges in addition to worrying about the baby. Focus on the future. A babies heart starts beating after ten days. This baby is alive and well and abortion is wrong, but really think about what kind of life you can provide for an innocent child. If you can devote yourself and have help from your family go for it and forget that asshole, what kind of money would you get from that trash anyway? Have you told your parents yet? No one in this world loves you more than them, talk to them for help. Remember this is an innocent baby, do what is best for him, not you.

Answer 8

Well you know if you got lemons make lemonade thats good you dont want to kill your baby his friendship is not worth it, and if you did that you would end up resenting him so keep your baby

rather he wants to be a father or not he has to as long as that is his baby he has to pay child support so you have to take him to court you may have to get a paternity test so that he does not deny the baby but do it and if he wants to be in babies life let him if he doesnt that is his bad but still make him pay child support and try to still be nice to him for your babies sake because it is important that you get along

Answer 9

I have a friend fighting with her baby's daddy. She qualified for legal aid so all her costs are paid for her. Try to see if you have legal aid where you are from. Maybe call a couple of lawyers and see if they will give you advice over the phone. Keep your chin up. I hope to god that your parents are there to help you out as well. Life takes this unexplained turns, but there is always a reason we are taken down these roads.

Answer 10

No, social services in most states will persue child support cases for free or for very little, that they take out of the support checks, som emoney is better then none.

Second, you are right, he isn't any kind of friend, but a scumbag who should be in jail for rape.

third, try to relax and decide if you will keep the baby or place in for adoption. Also, get to a doctor for good prenatal care, it make a difference, social services can help with that too, but you gotta fill out the paper work and work the system, so get you head in the game.

Good luck, god bless.