My wife left nearly 4 months ago. I filed for divorce via service by publication because she won't tell me where she was living. She found out about the divorce preceedings and came back. She's spent all her money while away and asking me for help. She says she's still in love with me, but I've had it and want this over ASAP. What can I offer her to encourage her to sign all the papers and go away? My house in both our names, I paid for it all and want her to sign it over to avoid a court battle. What would you take if you had no money or a placeto live? I am thinking of offering her my car and rent for an apartment for 6-12 months. Sound good? Cheaper than giving it to the lawyers.
2006-10-31 14:25:05 · 23 answers · asked by fatsomoe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
start off with less than what you want to give. start with the car because it is something you can have proof of transfering, if necessary. make sure to document EVERYTHING! then, if she says no to that, then keep adding more & see if you can reel her in with that.
2006-10-31 14:33:19 · answer #1 · answered by christy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, do NOT get lawyers involved! If you're going to get divorced, do the paperwork for a "no contest" divorce and put your agreement about possessions in writing.
I know someone who's wife just up and left him and their kids and started living a different (alcohol fueled) life. He gave her too much time before the divorce and so she got a little settled, got a bloodsucking lawyer and now it's been dragging on for YEARS. The legal fees are brutal, they get paid by the hour so it's in their financial interests to drag things out, and justice doesn't enter the equation.
Six months rent and the car sounds like plenty. If you can get a signature on that, go for it. If she still wants to reconcile after that, then at least you hold the cards and can do what's best.
Good luck.
2006-10-31 23:08:47 · answer #2 · answered by Rob VH 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I can answer your question to a point from my own experience but since the laws change so much, I'm not sure if this statement still holds true.
A lawyer once told me that if a spouse walks out on you, or leaves home for any reason...that is considered abandonment and the party who left willingly...will not be entitled to anything when they go to the divorce hearing.
Hopefully in your case...since she left willingly, she wont be entitled to anything either.
Again, I'm not so sure if this holds true still though...so you may want to get legal advice before you buy her a car or anything else that you have in mind. Good Luck and I wish you the best.
2006-10-31 23:13:55 · answer #3 · answered by angelbeliever114 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey i would offer her the rent for six months like you said but before i give it to her i would make her sign the divorce papers first good luck
2006-10-31 22:28:28 · answer #4 · answered by babygirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can offer her whatever you choose to offer but that doesn't mean she is going to take it and it certainly doesn't mean she HAS to take if. If your's is a community property state then as long as her name is still on the house she is entilted to half of it and if YOU don't want her to have it then YOU will have to buy out her half. The court will appoint a non-biased appraiser to apraise the house and then you will be ordered to pay half of that amount....that's life.
2006-10-31 23:59:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would check what she was up to while she was gone. There might be some evidence that might help you get a better and more juts result when presenting your case in court. That is under the assumption that she left for no valid reason.
2006-10-31 22:34:49 · answer #6 · answered by danshalom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
offer her the rent payable up front but keep the car. Dont give it all away just let her know its over and quit giving in to her. She is obviously using u. before you pay her rent make her sign or she will just keep using u for more
2006-10-31 22:30:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest, it depends on how she really feels and what kind of person she is. if she sincerely loves you, you may talk to her and tell her that after being gone for so long, you don't feel the same way for her as you did before but would like to help her out because you know that she has no one to turn to. ask her what she needs. but if she's just back because she's out of money and is just after you for financial security, i don't think she'll accept your offer. she probably knows she's entitled to a lot more so you better prepare yourself. goodluck.
2006-10-31 22:31:29 · answer #8 · answered by sheilanmanny12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The offer sounds good. If you feel it's over and it sounds like it is tell her. I think she would do this again to you if she could. Do what you think is fair for you and her. I hope you don't have kids together.
2006-10-31 22:30:10 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain that if you split the assets equally - it's better than paying everything to the lawyers. Either way, don't let her think you'll be in pain over it. If she thinks you'll be fretting over all the assets, she will put up a bigger fight.
2006-10-31 23:45:27 · answer #10 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋