What rights do I have as a 15 year old in a divorced/shared custody family?

Question

What rights do I have as a 15 year old teenager in a family that's recently split? I had no say in the custody at all, meaning now I go to my dad's house every week, then go to my mom's. It's been rough at my dad's house for the past 4 months, and I'm sick of it. (Not going into detail there.)

Main point: What can I do if this custody is not working for ME, not dad or mom, but me.
Please, no counseling suggestions, those haven't worked ever.

What rights do I have as a 15 year old teenager in a family that's recently split? I had no say in the custody at all, meaning now I go to my dad's house every week, then go to my mom's. It's been rough at my dad's house for the past 4 months, and I'm sick of it. (Not going into detail there.)

Main point: What can I do if this custody is not working for ME, not dad or mom, but me.
Please, no counseling suggestions, those haven't worked ever.

Edit: Thanks for all the helpful answers, and by the way, I'm in California.

Answer 1

My 15 year old daughter now refuses to go to her dad's house. He's totally selfish and emotionally abusive towards her. I talked to my attorney and he said she is old enough to decide for herself. It's not like I could or would drag her out to the car. Talk to your mom and have her talk to the lawyer or a mediator. I think in most states it would be pretty much up to you at this point.

Answer 2

There is probably more to the story than you realize. Some parents who share custody do if for financial reasons. If you lived with one of your parents full time the other parent you are not living with has to pay child support. When you split the kid up betweent the parents then there is no money exchanged between them. This is not the best way for the child however parents do it because it may be less headache or they are so angry one does not want to hand over any money to the parent supporting the child. I would talk to your mom and see if she will open up to you about the real reasons why custody was split. If you don't feel comfortable with that wait it out....in time the parents will settle their feelings and come to their senses. Right now they are thinking with their emotions not with their brain.

Answer 3

What state are you in? In most states any child age 12 or older can decide where they want to live as their primary residence. Many are even given a say in the visitation. If you feel you have a valid reason for not visiting your father just pick up the phone and call a lawyer. Might have to call more than one to find one who will represent you. You have rights, exercise them. You have the right to an atty. in many child divorcing a parent cases the childs atty. bills the parent. If it just is an inconvenience or you feel your style being crimped at your dads then you may have no choice. Remember they are both still your parents and supposedly know whats best for you. But again if you feel there is a valid reason, seek help. In some cities there are child advocacy groups that can point you in the right direction.

Answer 4

Discuss it with your domicary parent ( the one you spend the most time with. ) If you do not get anywhere there. You can go to your local court house, and talk to the DA ( District attorney ) They can tell you who to talk to. Courts can, and do, appoint children lawyers. (Children advocates) They are basically the voice for the childrens needs and wants in custody. They are especially used in minor children under the age of 10. But you can have one appointed to you as well.
I know this because I had one when I was 13 and 16. My step children also have one and they are ages 9-5 (5 kids) Or you can call your local social services and they can prob get you in touch with a childrens lawyer.
If talking to the parent you spend the most time with does work. Talk to that parents lawyer, and they may request a mediation hearing where you will also be able to communicate to the judge what you are feeling.
Goodluck, and I hope things work out for you!

Answer 5

You have the right to be happy and the right to have your say. Any judge would listen to your needs and wants at your age.

If its rough feeling wise, then tell your dad you want to spend more time with your mom and see him weekends only. Unless he's done something horrible you don't want to hurt him. Even every second weekend works for some families.

If he did something bad, you have options there too. Tell your mom you want a break from him to work things out for yourself, and your dad too. If he did something to really hurt you, you need to tell someone. Counselling doesn't work - been there done that, it only works for a few people.

You are old enough to have a say, strong enough to ask for opinions and help and smart enough to know what you want. It has only been 4 months, so unless he did something really bad to you or someone close to you, make sure you don't shut him out completely.

Answer 6

According to California law you have a say in the custody arrangement but not under the circumstances YOU have just put forth. Just because things are "bad" at your father's home doesn't mean you don't have the right to have it YOUR way. The court is going to look at your reasons and deem you a spoiled child and leave you right where you are. I suggest you learn to deal with some of the "bad" things in life because you don't get to have it all your way when you're an adult.

Answer 7

Well all you can really do is tell the judge your dads having some troble. But you have to have a good reason why you don't want to go to your dads, I feel for you. But it's you parents who aren't right. My parents were never married so I don't have the same story( since my dad always likes to FORCE people to do things), but your use to one house and now you have 2 and you feel like a pawn. BUT if one parent is extermly unfit ( I mean drugs or no power, not " he only lets me stay up till 9 pm) then the judge might listen to you. Keep you head up...... Only 3 years to go.

Answer 8

at age 13, legally, u have the right to say which house u want to be permanently a resident of. i did it at 13, so i know. my little brother just did the exact same thing not even two weeks ago. tell the parent of the house that you want to live at and he or she should contact a lawyer, preferrably the lawyer that dealt with the divorce, and it has to go through the court system. takes a week or so for everything...school changes and what-not. hope this helps...u can e-mail me if u need some more help.

Answer 9

as far as custody, I think at your age you have the right to choose where you want to live. My friend is in a similar situation, and she rarely stays with her dad because they just have a lotta issues (which I'll refrain from sharing). It's not like you're still 5... you're 15.

I wish you all the best with everything, and I'm sorry that you've even had to go through with any of this... I'm sure it's awful.

Answer 10

The U.S. give's the right for any child reaching the age of 14yrs to decide which parent to live with and if the parent choosen agree's then you get it but you also need to look into talking to a lawyer on child custody laws in your state so you can get the proper paper work filed and do everything legally.