My boyfriend and the father of my four month old daughter has an ex wife that he has two children together with. I have looked through his phone twice now in the past couple of months and found text messages between the two of them stating things relating to missing one another. They are very recently divorced and do still have two children together. But this is not cool with me. He told me this past time that it would NEVER happen again and that my daughter and I are his family now and yada yada yada. I already know that I'm being a dumb you know what for staying with him, but does anybody have any suggestions?
2006-10-31 13:31:38 · 11 answers · asked by staack_sadie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been down this road, i'm sorry it won't work. Cut out while u have the chance and find someone who treats u and your daughter w the respect u deserve
2006-10-31 13:34:52 · answer #1 · answered by do you know me? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you need to back off the relationship. The unfortunate part is you two have a child together. However, you say he is recently divorced, yet your child is 4 months? Did your relationship begin prior to his marriage ending? Were you the cause of the divorce? If so, is it possible he is now having regrets? I really don't see a good outcome for this, he needs to decide between you and his ex-wife, keeping in mind that there are kids on both sides to think about. As you are looking through his phone, it's obvious you have trust issues with him in the first place...what prompted this? I know...I gave more questions than answers, but these are questions I think you seriously need to consider.
2006-10-31 21:39:33 · answer #2 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they were divorced within the last 13 months, then you had sex with this guy when he was still married. So, you knew what his character was when you got pregnant. Do you really think his character is going to change? [will yours?]
If you two are not married, you have no business living with him. He obviously is a scumbag and doesn't cherish you.
If you can, call up your parents, tell them what a stupid mistake you've done, and ask to move back home for a little while until you can get settled, go back to school, get a job, etc.
2006-10-31 21:38:41 · answer #3 · answered by asperens 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend were to leave you ; you would also miss things with him especially since you also have a bond thru a child. Don't make the mistake of making the EX the proverbial "forbidden fruit". He will need to have regular contact with her as long as she has his children. Remember that he divorced her. He chose you. Don't let insecurities and jealousy cloud your judgement.
2006-10-31 21:37:59 · answer #4 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him to come clean. If you are his family, he needs to confide in you and tell you if something is going on. If he misses her, then he misses being with her... which would lead to cheating on you if it continued. Then again maybe he really wants you. You really should sit down with him and have a mature, adult conversation. Tell him how you feel and how that has affected you.
2006-10-31 21:38:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is natural for them to miss each other after all they shared a life together, if the divorce didnt not end bitter and they remained civil they they can still talk to each, does not mean that he wants to get back with her. Trust him until otherwise you have reason not to.
2006-10-31 21:50:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know. It's hard to believe that he doesn't still want to be with his ex wife anymore. Just try to talk to him on a serious note.
2006-10-31 21:51:19 · answer #7 · answered by Dasja L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my girl did basically the same thing to me. we're still together almost a year later, but i am miserable. i dont trust her at all, she cheated on me with him. but feel stuck because of our son. be sure in whatever decision you make, i regret mine.
2006-10-31 22:30:28 · answer #8 · answered by whatup 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Baby, it's what you already know. Someone is piggy riding, and when he reaches where he wants to go, he disembarks...
2006-10-31 21:38:08 · answer #9 · answered by Trinity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your pain. I know it doesn't help but this is just another example of why your shouldn't have pre-marital sex.
2006-10-31 21:37:06 · answer #10 · answered by Cybeq 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋