Should I let the wife drive a car? I know some men let their wives drive and...?

Question

its kind of been one of those "on the fence issues" for me. She is 26 now and we have been married for about 8 years. She took drivers ed in "high school" (she was homeschooled) because it was a required course by the state. Her parents decided she shouldn't be driving at that age because since she was a girl she would be kind of vulnerable driving by herself with all these weirdos out there. Well, when she married me I kind of felt the same way, plus I figured I could save money on insurance by her not driving, and save money on the cost of a second car. Plus, her mom and aunt live by and they can come pick her up and take her shopping or to the doctor's or something when I'm not there, so I figure its a also a nice way to get together with her family. Lastly, I kind of like to control where she goes. With a car, there is some level of independence and she might could go somewhere without my permission. However, she's a pretty good girl. Well, its her birthday now and she

is pleading me to let me get her a drivers license and a used car to drive around. She says she wants to be able to take the kids to the zoo or park and things like that. What should I do? She is a very sweet girl.

Answer 1

Are u her husband or her parent? She's a grown woman. She should be allowed to do whatever she wants. Heck, I've been driving since I was 16.

Answer 2

stop being a control freak give her the car and her Independence.
you obviously have some issues with trust and insecurities if you need to keep an eye on what she is doing and where she is going.
does she know this is the reason why you wont let her have a car i bet she don't cos if she did she prob wouldn't be with you.
also what would happen if some of your kids had to go to the docs in an emergency and she couldn't get hold of a member of her family what then and don't be a smart *** and say phone an ambulance you know exactly what my point is.
maybe your wife should take away your Independence and see how you feel.

Answer 3

Yes, let her drive. Stop treating her like your child and start treating her like your wife.
She needs a car to get around to take care of household errands, take the kids to the doctor, and other necessaries. She shouldn't have to depend on anyone else to get anywhere because nobody is THAT dependable. Nor should she take the bus when a car would be better transportation.

Besides, women have lower insurance rates for driving and get discounts.

My father was like you. My mother has had her license since 1978 and he never let her drive the car. He died earlier this month. My mother has problems driving now because she is out of practice from never being allowed to drive.

Answer 4

I wish I could be as obedient to my HOH as your wife obviously is to you. I do think a license and car is necessary when children are involved; in case one of the kids get sick or there is some other type of emergency. Also if anything were to ever happen to you, how would she take care of the kids. Outside of the house I live my life as normal, no one at work knows how submissive I am. But at home I try to defer to his judgement, rules and punishment,. I am not nearly as behaved as your wife obviously is.

Answer 5

Thank you. I home school my girls and you just made my mind up to make sure my girls can drive, cook, work a job, and THINK for themselves. You like to control where she goes.... this is a sad, sad statement. You do not trust her, why is that? I think driving is just a drop in the bucket of what is wrong with your marriage. You need counseling. Is this how you want your daughter treated? What would happen to your wife and kids if you died? How would your wife take care of your family?
Just FYI, I read your question to my husband and he too thinks you have a problem.
What are you afraid of?

Answer 6

What world and generation are you living in?
My wife does not drive, but I wish she would get her license and drive. I think every person in the household should have a drivers license if they are over 18 and they are in good health.
I would not even think about my not letting my wife drive if she had license.
There has been many situations that it would have helped her and I out, if she drove a car.
Good Luck for you wife getting her drivers license.

Answer 7

For starters, I would not be pleading for something from my husband that is a right and a privilege. All women who desire to should be able to attain their driver's license. Who are you to tell her that she can't because you have crazy control issues? Get a grip! Do you tell her what color panties she can wear? Why does she need your permission to go anywhere, grow up and stop being controlling of your mate, she is not your child!!!!

Answer 8

You're refering to your wife as a girl and not a woman? What happens if something happens while you're gone? I completely dissagree with the "balance" you and your wife have set up and am a little horrified by her dependance on everyone else, but it's your marriage. It's a good idea for your wife to have a driver's licence. You never know what sort of emergency might arise where she might need to drive and it's a good picture ID to have.

Answer 9

If you have kids, it's important that your wife is able to drive in case there's an emergency and her mom/aunt are away she can take the kids to the hopsital.

After 8 years, I would hope that you trust her enough to value the kids' safety over your control issues.

Answer 10

then let her. even if you are already married for 8 years, that doesnt give you the permission to control her. she is still a person and she deserves full and free expression of her individuality. and she deserves to do what she wants to do. you sound like you dont trust her to herself, which is wrong because by now you should have learned to trust her already. she's not a child anymore and she can do whatever she wants. trust that she will not do anything really stupid to break your trust in her. so go and let her enjoy herself... it wont hurt, it'll only heal.