Just out of curiosity I'm wondering if this stuff I write is lame or actually cool.. Last night I was bummed about stuff and I wrote a sorta sad song to God to let it all out and felt better then... I write stuff alot and once in a while put it to music. What do you think of this song?
The song:
Dont want my heart to be dying inside
Dying while trying to just stay alive
The more that I love the more that I hate
This lingering silence I want you to take
I just want to close my eyes
Drown out the noise
Cant feel my heart beating
My breath slowing now
My efforts in vain when I try to escape
I dont want to be here
But I am still here
And you're not too late
I've been here before but it's lonelier now
The door of my heart will not let me get out
I've tried and I've cried All that my strength will let me
Unable myself I see you hold my key
(chorus again then: )
Free me, Open me, Love me, Save me
2006-10-31 12:32:15 · 10 answers · asked by shelsi 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
I find this song to be good. It can be better with some more lyrics. I feel the song cause this month has been hard and I can sort of relate to it. I think you have just inspired me to write my own song. I think you did a good job. Its missing something I am not sure if its lyrics or you could change the lyrics around. Something just doesn't feel right about it.
2006-10-31 12:46:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great, but could change the lyrics in the second section. I don't think those are very good. Other than that, it's a pretty good song.
2006-10-31 12:38:46 · answer #2 · answered by pickle juice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like ..though what kinda music did you have in mind setting it too ? It makes a really great poem though. I figured you must have a broken heart...it sucks don't it??
Well if you feel like talking and such you can always email me.
2006-10-31 12:37:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, i have to say i don't really care for it as a song. however, you can take out the chorus and make it a poem then i can say i like yor logic and feeling with this. there are many times we feel this way i write poetry and i definitly i have to say make it a poem
2006-10-31 12:43:03 · answer #4 · answered by jessie j schroedie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont really like the part when you say that you dont want to be there but you still are there... It is kind of repetitive.
But the rest is really good.
2006-10-31 12:36:12 · answer #5 · answered by f1E2l3i4p5E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad but it read like a Halmark card. I couldn't put many differtent ways to sing it together.....But all in all not bad. Keep it up!
2006-10-31 12:37:31 · answer #6 · answered by whtsthislif4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for someone who was bummed out...you wrote a nice song...could use a little editing here and there...but not bad at all!!!
2006-10-31 12:35:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice. for someone who was really bummed that was really creative.
2006-10-31 12:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by Dobby The Great 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice song, actually, please e-mail me back. I'm doing a documentry on teen music and I'd like to use your lyrics. Please e-mail me for more info =D
2006-10-31 12:48:48 · answer #9 · answered by donohoeson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's good..but i hav to here u sing it to know more
2006-10-31 12:34:35 · answer #10 · answered by lize 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋