I've been married for 5 years (together for 10) I love my husband, but im realizing im not in love anymore. Im only w/ him for our kids. I met a man a couple months ago through my brother. We hit it off quick. So much in commen and we can talk about anything. The problem is that were in love, madly in love. He already left his girlfriend because of me. My heart tells me that i want to be with this man, but i don't want to hurt my husband in any kind of way. What should i do and how should i do it?
2006-10-31 11:53:09 · 22 answers · asked by brwn_id_grl_4u 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Whoa! Slow down there!
You think you're in love with this new guy, and far be it for me to say you're not, but please consider that this is a very thrilling experience when you've been living in a ho-hum married world. The spark with this guy has got to be fantastic, but didn't you have a spark with your husband that later kind of fizzled? What will you do when that's happened with the new guy that you left your husband for?
I am not advocating cheating, and I know you must really have feelings for him, but you have to weigh what you have versus what you could have. whatever you do, be very careful. Remember you have kids and even though you're likely to still have custody, it won't look good that you had another man in the wings or all along.
2006-10-31 12:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, please. Okay first of all you're not in love with this guy. No matter what you think. Of course you can talk about anything because everything you say to each other is completely new and exciting. At the same time, he finds you enticing and new and you find that seductive. But you're not in love, you're in lust, and for the first time in a decade.
My advice is to think about someone else besides yourself. You'll not only hurt your husband, but your children as well. And if, as you say, you don't want to "hurt your husband in any kind of way" then stop seeing and talking to this man. How do you think he would feel if he knew this question was from you? Devastated? Hurt? Confused? Angry?
You didn't mention anything wrong with the relationship, other than you were "not in love anymore." Okay, fair enough. But are you trying? Or are you more interested in the new guy?
I think yiou should grow up and think about your family.
2006-10-31 12:01:31 · answer #2 · answered by wineboy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Huh what? You are in no position to be in love with a child. It makes little difference how old your current boyfriend is, he's a child. You are a single mother? Who wants to be with a little boy who has no intention of having a family? That's wacko. And you don't trust your ex. How'd you get this child of yours? From neither of these guys apparently. Go shopping. At 30 you are just reaching the age where an intelligent, educated, interesting man with a good job would shop in for a woman who knows how to run a household, parent effectively and be a life partner. This is the age where things are about to get GOOD. Don't settle for what hasn't made you happy and doesn't work. I speak the truth... be the best person you can be and you'll find a better man than you have yet met.
2016-05-22 21:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you sure are going about things all wrong if you don't want to hurt your husband. You had no right to get involved with another man while still married.
So this guy left his girl friend for you. Wow, what a sacrifice! Now you are going to destroy a family because you want to be excited and feel "in love" again. What did your husband and kids do to deserve this treatment?
I cannot condone this behavior, and I am surprised that your brother was part of it. He must have as little respect for others as you.
2006-10-31 12:00:08 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all this will affect the kids if you decide to leave your husband, is that something you can handle?The kids are the innocent ones here,they have nothing to do with your affair, but they will be the ones suffering the most from this..Its really sad that you would make the decision to break apart there family,home &ect, Your husband will survive, but what about the kids?? Your only thinking of yourself, if you were thinking of others (KIDS) the affair wouldn't have taken place. You have to make a decision, and whatever it maybe Good Luck..But think of the kids before you make the right decision.
2006-10-31 12:32:30 · answer #5 · answered by Shem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he'll have to wait until your kids are all 18 and out of the house, when you'll then leave your husband. I'd hate for your kids to see you as a lying, cheating ho-bag. Your kids deserve better than that for a mother.
But are you sure you want a man who would screw around with a married woman and not care if he harms her children? You've only known him 60 days, and he's already willing to detroy your family. Nice guy, huh?
2006-10-31 12:03:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
call it off, or tell your husband you want to split, and give up the kids, because you r only going to be with him temporarily, you r in lust and that's all that it is. He may be good in bed, but how about the long run. The kids, the way they will have to live and just Wait till daddy starts with the cruelty, to use your children to make your future love life miserable. I lived with that crap for 8 yrs, and it is not fun. As the future guy to put up with it, I never will again. JUST THINK BEFORE YOU DO.
2006-10-31 12:27:32 · answer #7 · answered by get the facts right 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you think you are in love because the relationship is new but you are really in lust. Ask your self what will happen if this new dude turns out to be a serial killer or america's most wanted or something crazy. Is it worth not trying to bring back joy in what you have already invested 10 years in?How do you know that his girlfriend wasn't planning to leave him any way?
2006-10-31 12:14:15 · answer #8 · answered by sex-c-one 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already betrayed your husband & marriage..
You can either finish it off & get a divorce or you can break it
off with your new guy and NEVER tell your husband...
There is no way to divorce your husband and not hurt him
but that can't be that important to you anyway or you would not
have had an affair with the new guy..
So just get the divorce...
2006-10-31 11:59:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh well ...this is a tough one...Does your husband still love you? Are you sure you found true love again? What is the impact on your kids? Gee I don't know...give yourself some time and you might cool it off. If he really loves you he can give you the time you need.
2006-10-31 11:59:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋