To the battered women out there: Why makes you stick to your man inspite of all the abuse?

Question

Is it because:

1. You are financially dependant on him?

2. The children?

3. You have no where else to go?

4. You are held against your will?

5. You stick it out in the (false) hope that he will change one day?

6. All or combination of the above?

7. Any other reason? please state.

Most importantly, what can anyone who is aware of your situation do to help?

1. Legal advice?

2. Financial help?

3. Relocation?

4. help finding another spouse?

5. help lines, emails, phone-ins, anonymous or otherwise?

Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Answer 1

OK. I am willing to admit that I have been in a relationship where I got hit. I didn't stay for any of the reasons that you mentioned.... Trust me I know this sounds stupid, but in the moment I honestly believed that he hadn't meant to hurt me... I would think, that we were just playing around and he didn't realize he was hurting me. Pretty soon I thought that he didn't mean to do it. It was a really bad cycle. The night I finally left, he had cracked two of my ribs and outright broken one. I don't even like to think of the number of bruises I covered up.

I wish I had better advice for how to get someone out of that situation. All I can say is everyone has their breaking point, then they have to make that decision for themselves. Just having someone their who is supportive is great.

Answer 2

My moms friend stayed for her children. Her husband set her on fire, took her from her family, beat her daily, and cheated on her constantly. She blamed herself for even staying. The hold back is the Bible. Marriage is supposed to be until death do you part. It is said that divorce means certain persicution in hell. However if you attempt to make it work and it still doesnt its ok to get a divorce. Personally I think thats bull. He could have killed her. You cant tell me that staying in a home where you know you will be killed is better than getting out. Forgiveness is for a reason. But anyway wehn her last son turned 18 and joined the Marines she finally filed for divorce... he tired to kill her.

She stayed for the children. But now she says she sees it would have been better for then if she had left. If he hd killed her they would have had no mother. She says she was wrong to stay. but at the time It was for the kids, and the fact he made her quit her job and she had no money. so I guess financial reasons played a part.

Answer 3

Some may feel it is their fault and if they change their behavior the abuse will stop. Self blame, fear, and feeling they 'love' their partner, as well as the partner promises to stop and they believe them.
In some ways being abused is a bit like being an addict, for many, there is nothing anyone can really do until they 'admit they have a problem' and make up their mind they have to get out.

Answer 4

There are many reasons you find to stay. Fear is probably number 1. They work on your head.
What someone else can do for you? Be there for you - maybe suggest a good lawyer, help finding a new place, give advice. Being there helps.

Answer 5

Something Specially
For You

I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all.

By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra

Answer 6

i havent been battered but i think that women who stay are just comfortable where they are or have low self esteem

Answer 7

I would think being finacially depended on him