When is it time to give up on your marriage?

Question

I love my husband more than anything in this world but he's been gone since August. I've seen him once when he came to visit me and the kids. I've done a lot of soul searching and I want our marriage to work but how can it if he won't go to counseling with me to work out our issues. He says he needs time and that he doesn't trust me.

I was assualted but he believes that I cheated. In any case it wouldn't have happened if I was at home with my kids instead of out partying after he left.

Answer 1

Then he needs to work on those trust issues, and you CAN give him time, but after six months of separation you can file no matter what, as he has effectively abandoned you.

If I were in your shoes, I would demand at least one session where everything can be laid out in front of you and him -- even if it is in the form of exchanged letters. There needs to be some ground work whether or not you are going to try to make it work and have him come back into your lives, or whether it is going to end in divorce.

There needs to be a bottom line set in terms of expectations regarding what is happening in the mean time and a time by which things need to start happening. For example, if you are giving him time and all he is doing is sexing it up with someone else, or any of the other relationship-destroying addictions, then it's already over and you just need to know.

And he is responsible for his portion of the expenses which support the children in the mean time even if you aren't yet divorced.

Answer 2

See, the difficulty with the "Well, a brother and sister residing co-dependently might benefit from the identical advantages" means that no 2 directly persons have *ever* abused the wedding method after they were not in a romantic dating. But a sibling couple doing so might nonetheless be legally "married"; they might no longer then, in flip, be allowed to marry anybody they had been truthfully romantically excited about with out dissolving that partnership, with the entire authorized disorders a divorce can rationale. I imply, I believe if a brother/sister pair (or brother/brother or sister/sister, had been homosexual marriage authorized) desired to go into right into a lifelong, non-romantic authorized partnership, definite, they might conceivably call for they be granted marriage rights. But such partnerships might be as an alternative few and a long way among, as I believe the social stigma of traumatic you be allowed to marry your sister might in general suppress that organization. A extra pertinent query might be on how you can manage the quantity of contributors in a wedding. If marriage is spread out from in which it's now, then there is the query approximately whether or not polyamorous unions will have to be legally identified. And if we then increased marriage to enable, say, four individuals, then what approximately polygamists who consider socially ostracized considering that they have got a five-manner dating? Polygamists and brothers in need of to marry their sisters, nonetheless, represent a tiny, tiny fraction of American society. Homosexuals, whilst nonetheless a minority, quantity a long way better. Opening up marriage to identical-intercourse couples, I think, is a technique to supply those romantic pairings the identical authorized rights which are presently loved by way of an identical partnerships, whilst minimizing the difference to the total method. Sure, the "slippery slope" argument can nonetheless be carried out, however simply considering that establishing up marriage to homosexuals would open up a greater can of worms does not imply it is not a well and proper factor to do.

Answer 3

Why doesn't he trust you? Did you do something to hurt him and that's why he left in the first place? If you did hurt him, it's going to take time for him to regain the trust...if he even wants too. If you did do something wrong and you do want to work things out, it's only fair that you give him the time and space he needs to heal.
If you didn't on the other hand and he just wanted to leave just to leave and figure things out, then he has his own issues he's going through. Why don't you ask him about it? You are his wife and he shouldn't keep things that are bothering him this bad away from you.

Answer 4

It sounds like your marriage is over in his eyes. He is probably already seeing someone else and has no intention of going to counseling and getting back with you.

I am sorry to sound so negative, but I went through this very same thing with my ex. I finally found out that he left me to be with someone else and was hiding that from me.

Any time a man says he needs time away from the marriage he really means he is already seeing someone else.

Answer 5

Give up when it's over. We don't know the rest of the story but if he's still telling you that he needs some time, there is no rush to get a divorce. Plus, you guys have kids, and trust me, divorce does some serious damage to the kids. I don't know if you believe in prayer, but start asking God to guide your life and help you to make the decisions that are in His interests and that honor Him.

Answer 6

if hes only seen your kids once he doesnt care about them or you im sorry but a good father could not live without his kids in his life and if he cnt be a good father he cant be a good husband he has moved on and i think you should too. I dont know why he doesnt trust you but that has nothing to do with your kids and if he cared he would at least come to see them move on girl he doesnt seem worth it

Answer 7

Something Specially
For You

I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all.

By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra

Answer 8

Right now what you can do is; go to counseling (by yourself), take good care of yourself, take good care of your children. Keep on being his wife (except wait on sex because you don't what he doing right now). That means be faithful to him. Why doesn't he trust you? Be trustworthy. Check out this website and give them a call for more ideas.

Answer 9

divorce is not a sin. ( will yall please stop saying that, there are certain circumstances if a husband truly loves his wife as he loves himself then there wouldn't be a need for a divorce read Ephesians 5 :28) one thing that I have learned is that if both people aren't striving for it to work then it won't. I the past can't be left there then you are wasting time, time you don't have to waste

Answer 10

If he's not willing to step up to the plate and make his marriage work, then for your own sanity and health ... let him go. "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be." applies here. If he truly wants to be married to you after you file (or even get!) a divorce, he'll come back and work on the things that need to be worked out. If not, then it's time for you to move on and find your own happiness in the world.