when my b/f & I have sex he gets there & stops! what dose this mean guys!?

Question

We've been togther for a year. It dosen't happen every time but it dose happen alot. I've talked to him about it, he said that when he gose off thats it, you know how it feels, you just want to stop. My suggestion was to grab a toy & help me out. He wont even do that! He says he loves me, & I beleve him, but how can you truely love some if you don't want to make love with them?

Answer 1

This doesn't mean that he don't love you, but it is pretty obvious that he is very inconsiderate. If I understand your queston correctly, he is basicly getting off before you get the chance to and not offering you the same pleasure. Well you need pleasure too, I would suggest telling him that either he takes care of you or you are going to start doing it without him. One thing you can do if you aren't too embarassed and know how, is that after he is in you have him stop thrusting and use your fingertips to get yourself off WHILE he is in you. He can make small movements still and this will be enough to keep him erect, but not enough to make him ejaculate too quickly. It is even better if HE does this, but you may have to show him how if he doesn't know. This DOES work, and if he truly loves you, then he should be willing to explore whatever it takes because sooner or later you may very well get tired of this and it could cause a whole lot of other problems if you know what I mean. I don't know how old he is, but the older and more experienced a man gets, the more he learns to control this, and this is really what he needs to be practicing. Also, the more often a guy has sex, the longer he can go before getting off. Do it everyday for about a week and you should see a difference after 4 or 5 days, especially if you do twice a day, like morning or night. Good luck with your situation.

Answer 2

It just means that he's got his release and that's all he needed. It's selfish. Plus once he achieves, then maybe he loses his wood and needs some recovery time, but has lost interest. My suggestion would be to have him please you in all sorts of ways before you actually do it. Then you'll get off before he does, so when he's done, you've already received what you needed. However, all this is just the physical part. If this guy really cared, he would put you first. I find that sex is far more enjoyable, knowing that the woman has been overly satisfied, because I know in the end, I'll feel great. I'd rather take plenty of time getting there, giving her multiple moments of erotic pleasure, rather than just taking what I need. The way your going now is going to get old fast. I would think he would enjoy giving you the toys. Maybe the two of you are not as connected as you would like to believe. I'm not sure that he is being completely honest. Actions speak louder than words. Good luck.

Answer 3

He does want to make love you but he wants to stop when he's had his pleasure.
This is a common problem. Usually, after a male ejaculates, if he keeps going there's a tickling sensation. However, using his fingers and even his mouth is always a technique to make up for it.
If he's not pleasing you then you need to tell him that you don't consider the sex great because when he's finished, it's finished, without giving you your pleasure.
I'd talk to him about it and just ask for understanding on your part. He's leaving you hanging in the bed. Tell him, if he loves you and doesn't want you to find better things in bed, he should be wanting to keep the sex great and continue pleasing you.

Answer 4

Well, Susie, as much as I'd like to tell you otherwise, here's how it is:

Men cannot always control the time period before he goes off. And sometimes he can continue after he goes off, but more often it's shear pain to try to continue even to please the one he loves. Men do not choose to be this way, but sometimes, just like you, he feels sexier than others and he goes off sooner.

There are 2 possible remedies for this: 1 is to have sex more often, thus lengthening his performance time. If you can't be receptive more often then use oral to bring him off. In fact, either of these methods will make sure he stays faithful to you. If you empty his weapon, he won't have any bullets left for anyone else.

Answer 5

Don't grab a toy afterwards, have him use it on you before; that way when your nearing your point you can have him physically finish you and him at the same time or very close together. If he does it right you can get 3 or 4 before him. Now would'nt be fun!

Answer 6

The reality is; one a guy (including me) ejaculates, the impending sexual desire is completely gone. It's really strange, you become very self concious and your realize how tired you are. Before a guy comes everything shuts off and the focus is the mement, everything is overridden. To keep going afterwards feels awkward. It's hard to understand the other side, but try. He needs to understand your side, tell him he needs to hang on, pace himself. If you make him come during forplay (probably first), he will last longer the second time. Make him see your side, my pretendin your finished when your really not, and see how he feels, He'll understand then

Answer 7

it is true that when a guy ejaculates his desire for sex, usually, is completely gone (this is not always the case). Usually women don't get off as fast as men do, and so it is sad that he will not do anything to satisfy you. That is very selfish. Maybe you should have him make you c u m before you will allow penetration. Or you could just e-mail me and we can get together. I will make you feel oh so good.

Answer 8

Ya it does happen he may not be able to perform anymore..but that being said, there is nothing stopping him from using his hands or grabbing a toy to help you out except his desire to. But what you do is tell him about it. Tell him if he doesnt start getting you off then you'll stop getting him off.

Answer 9

He is being selfish.If I get close before my female partner I stop till I cool a little and then resume and last longer.I wont let myself untill the girl goes first.When I was younger was not a problem I could go off over and over again and stay hard.

Answer 10

He sounds selfish and only thinking about himself. I don't blame you to feel the way you do. It's not about him loving you I believe it's just a guy thing and most guy's do that. Why not do that back to him and he can then know how it feels. Maybe then he'll consider your feelings alot more.