I'm chronically ill and there is a risk that I could die. I have a daughter that I love more than anyone in the world and I want my friends to be there for her if I do die. How can I write them each a letter without a) freaking them out - or b) looking like a drama queen? I want them to be involved in my daughters life because I respect their views and opinions, care and love them as friends and want a link. I moved away from London to Cornwall about 5 years ago and so I don't see my pals so much as I would like - we'r eno longer around the corner from each other.
2006-10-31 09:30:59 · 11 answers · asked by Nicola L 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
BTW I'm an atheist.
2006-10-31 09:34:54 · update #1
My husband would care well for my daughter and his family would rally around - so it's not bringing up my sprog - but being a positive influence on her life. For her to know that these people can be relied on and that they are there for her. + interesting + funny + witty + caring etc. etc.!
2006-10-31 09:43:38 · update #2
They're your friends! They're not going to think of you as being dramatic or trying to scare them. Tell them exactly what you told us. Say it like this, "I'm chronically ill and there is a risk that I could die. Although I am being optimisitc, I love my daughter more than anyone in the world and I want you, my friend, to be there for her if I do die. I want each of my friends to be involved in my daughters life because I respect each and every one of their views and opinions. I care about all of you and it would mean a lot to me."
I gurantee they will be nothing but pleased to know that you consider them such good friends that you'd want them to take care of your daughter if, god forbid, something were to happen.
2006-10-31 09:37:52 · answer #1 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can call and ask them or send a letter. Just no matter what, be positive and tell them you would appreciate their influence over your daughter if you were to pass away because you respect them so much. Some people might take it well, and others might not want to talk about it. Also, you can ask that of your friends, but after you are gone it may be a different story - which I am sorry to say. Just be realistic and upbeat and let them know how much you appreciate them, and anything they can do for your daughter. Some people don't deal with the aspect of a friend dying very well, so just be as understanding as you can even if you feel disappointed. In the meantime, just concentrate on living and enjoy everyday!!!
2006-10-31 09:48:28 · answer #2 · answered by Michaela 4120 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't put it in a letter. I would try and talk to them. I don't think they would be freaked. I am sure they would be delighted to be able to be of some help to you, if they're good friends. Do they all know each other? Could you invite them to come and visit you and explain to them your worry for your daughter? How old is she? Does she need someone to live with her? I definitely thin it would be better to say it and not put it in a letter. Good luck.
2006-10-31 10:39:43 · answer #3 · answered by cherub 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be genuine..these words you wrote " want them to be involved in my daughters life because I respect their views and opinions, care and love them as friends and want a link" say that..tell them that..have a letter with the deepest feelings you have in a calming way to avoid the "freaking out".. Im sure they'd be there for your child. Im very sorry about your situation..i wish you and your child the best..
2006-10-31 09:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by Sma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For now try to call them and keep in touch with them and write a letter, a long one where you put all your feelings and send it to them.
Just in case ask a lawyer too I don't know how old is your daughter but if she's a minor and you want them to be there for her is better to know if they could, just in case you know, I wish you the best and never lose your faith that you will get better to be with your daughter.
2006-10-31 09:36:27 · answer #5 · answered by Firelei P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them look you know i have this illness and im worried about dying and leaving my daughter behind! please if this happens take care of her! i mean sure your gunna sound weird to them but i mean they need to no and if u care about ur daughter u wont care about being like a drama queen for 2 minutes!
i hope u get better
2006-10-31 09:33:32 · answer #6 · answered by hunny_boo_boo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to here about your illness my mum passed away when i was 12 and the only person i had was my dad i talked and cried for months and months but me and my dad don't get on anymore and i don't talk about her to anyone and no one is their for me not even my friends. so please please make sure you tell them so that they are their for your daughter because i know it is hard to get frew it is really hard! you'll find a right time and place to tell them! maybe just tell them you are reallie ill! GOOD LUCK and i hope you beat your illness. all the best.Joanne x
2006-10-31 09:47:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them exactly what you just wrote here. I'm sure they will be touched, and not freaked out. But do it in person, not on the phone or post. I'm sorry you're ill, and I pray it works out for you.
2006-10-31 09:33:39 · answer #8 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do it just the way you mentioned. Write them each a letter, and tell them your wishes.
If they really are good friends, they'll be thrilled to hear you want them to do that, and be thrilled to get the invitation.
2006-10-31 09:34:30 · answer #9 · answered by Wayne A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask them to be the childs god-parent. or if they would be comfortable in that position
2006-10-31 09:33:10 · answer #10 · answered by Jared S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋