You meet a lovely woman, she's gorgeous, intelligent, funny and sexy. You can see this going somewhere - and on the outside this all looks brilliant but... under her sweater she's hiding a mastectomy and breast reconstruction. Would this put you off? When would you have wanted to be told? Would she wait until sex was on the cards or tell you on the first date (yes, I know that can be the same thing!!!)
I'd be very interested in a mans perspective on this or any female real-life experiences. I'd prefer the honest answers, not necessarily the most 'pc' or senstive ones.
Mx.
2006-10-31 08:19:08 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
Our scars tell the tale of our lives. Many scars are beautiful if looked at for what they represent, pain, determination, strength, acceptance, power..suffering. We all have scars, only some are ever visible.
No, it would not bother me.
2006-10-31 08:23:00 · answer #1 · answered by campojoe 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Any man worth his salt will be more interested in the woman as a whole and not judge her just by one factor so, on the whole, if they are relatively compatible then a masectomy and breast reconstruction wouldn't matter but, you're right, when is the right time to tell someone?
I'd say when things started to get more serious, when it's obvious the relationship is going somewhere. I don't think I'd want to hear on the first date. It's just too soon. We're still trying to figure out if there's any hope for a "fit" at that point. I mean, would you want a guy blurting out that he's hung like a horse or is "small" on the first date? No, it's irrelevant at that point. It's not serious enough.
Hmmmm. Good one. I'm going to give this some thought but, me, I wouldn't want to know immediately. Nor would I want her to wait until we've been seeing each other several months and are about to head to bedroom. Maybe after we'd been dating about a month or so...
2006-10-31 08:34:13 · answer #2 · answered by The Divorce Guru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you must remember is that every single person is always self-conscious about what they look like with no clothes on and what they'll look like once they've got naked and are about to have sex with someone. Everyone worries about what the other person will think about them or if there's anything that they'll notice or won't like. Most blokes think "will she think my d**k is big enough ?", or "will it bother her that I've got a beer gut, love handles and man breasts ?".
I think once two people reach a certain stage, they'll go through with the act anyway, and if they think enough about each other I doubt that certain physical foibles would get in the way.
I suppose this type of operation could be very distressing for a woman and I would hope nobody I know ever has to go through it.
It's kind of equivalent to a man losing a testicle or something like that. I can see how a woman would feel about it. At the end of the day though if there's something special between people, it overrides anything like that completely, in my opinion anyway.
2006-10-31 08:51:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would want to be told at the very start of any possible relationship and to be truthful i dont think that i could continue with it !
You ask for a truthful answer sorry if it hurts !
It's not only the fact that she has had a mastectomy its the fact that she will have side effects such as depression loss of self confidence and mood swings all these things can put a lot of strain on a relationship even if the relationship is well established personally i would prefere not to get involved
2006-10-31 08:26:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I fell in love with and married a appealing(interior and out) female that replaced into clinically determined with maximum cancers mutually as we've been courting. 2 weeks after our wedding ceremony she had a radical mastectomy of the left breast. long tale short, the way I regarded at her from then on did no longer exchange, she replaced into nonetheless appealing and that i replaced into in basic terms as fascinated in her. Our actual courting by no skill replaced one bit.
2016-11-26 21:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by muhammad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is only a small part of her. sure it might take a bit to get used to a different look and no they might not function the same as far as stimulation for her but for me it would not matter too much. I think my biggest concern would be gettign attached to someone that has a possibility of reoccurance. that would be taking on alot of extra baggage. The mastectomy can be dealt with that to me is only cosmetice.
2006-10-31 08:24:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is information you should share,more because of the life altering implications for you than the superficial aspects.It might also create an uncomfortable situation if becomes apparent at an intimate moment.If a man truly cares for you,he shouldn't care about it.Your self confidence would seem to be a bigger issue.
2006-10-31 08:23:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why should it put a genuine man off, if she has the personality and charm what more could a man want. If it did put one off she has had a lucky escape because he is obviously shallow and wants her for the wrong reason, and we all know there are plenty of that type around.
2006-10-31 08:25:50 · answer #8 · answered by tucksie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She was not required to tell you something so personal about herself unless she wanted to. You were assuming from the start that you were going to have sex with her. Plus, breast cancer is not contagious. She sounds like a great person. Don't be so shallow.
It really doesn't look that bad. Look at the whole person.
2006-10-31 08:29:28 · answer #9 · answered by Jacks036 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My last GF had just got out of a mastectomy surgery and the first stages of the reconstruction surgeries. She told me about it on our first date. About half way through our first date. When she figured it was going to go more than just one date.
It didn't matter at all to me.
Hell most of the women I have dated have had breast augmentation surgery... what's the difference?
She showed me pics of what she went through on our second date, and on our third date she showed them to me. I'll admit it was weird to see them in the middle of the process. But it didn't really matter to much. That wasn't really what I was interested in.
And after a few months she had her final surgery and had a brand new set of very beautiful breasts. We were both happy.
And she absolutely loved showing them off.
Her current BF is really happy with them.
I hope that helps
Just the opinion of a one man that has gone through it with someone (me) and one man that is with a woman that has gone through it.( her current BF)
2006-10-31 08:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by USMCstingray 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋