How can someone who hasnt ever been cared about and shown love while they grew up be able to show someone else love. How can you show love if youve never really had it. How can you be completly unselfish with your love and dedicate all you have to others? Is it harder for those who havent ever been loved and what can they do to help themselves do this? WHat can they do to have normal lives. Yes, counseling but how else. HOwdo people ike this learn to show their love so others can see it. Any ideas?
2006-10-31 07:50:11 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Love is a profound feeling of tender affection for or intense attraction to another. It is considered a deep, ineffable feeling shared in passionate or intimate interpersonal relationships.
The beautiful thing about love and experiencing it is that you don't need to have ever loved anyone to benefit from the joy of having it in your life and the best part is that you will find yourself giving back love from which it came.
Love is so strong and so powerful, you will be overcome with such emotion (once you receive it) that you will wonder how had you gone so long without it and you will want to share that love. You will not have a selfish thought about that love and will easily dedicate all you have to that person. It isn't any harder for those who have not loved than those who have loved. In fact, its probably easier. Being in love can be a beautiful thing with the right person. I had been in love with a guy and fully trusted my heart to him, but he betrayed that trust and turned out to be someone I could not commit to. It hurt me that he would lie to me, proclaim his undying love over and over, yet was living a lie himself. To love again was the hardest thing I ever did because I once again had to give my heart to someone, entrusting that person to cherish it and give back love. To this day, I have never been happeir.
So you see, the hurt I felt from once being love did not prevent me from loving again but I do know people in which it has. My husband had never been in love, so it was perfect for us, because he loved me openly with all of his heart and seeing this, I in turn, opened my heart to give him all of my love. It is very selfishless from both of us - trusting and giving; whole heartedly.
People learn to show their love because they want that person to see it; it will come naturally to you - even in more abundance than before (at least it has for me). I am still shocked sometimes when I think how I never thought love would be so full, so wonderful and so amazing at this point in my life. My husband, who never experienced real love (but has family love) opened this new world to me and I accepted. :)
A person who has not know family love can learn to love. You just have to believe and accept - know in your heart it is true and you will see. Please let love in - so many people haven't and miss out on so much in life they've not seen (the simple things around us are so beautiful). Try it, you will see.
It doesn't happen overnight, by the way. It takes time. :)
2006-10-31 14:23:51 · answer #1 · answered by terryoulboub 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not easy. I have a guy who never had love from his family and he has a hard time showing his feelings. He has a lot of walls up, not just healthy boundaries, but walls. Check the self help section at a big book store and look for books on how to love. It is not an easy road but basically you don't have any tools in your toolbox. You will need to experiment when the time feels right to you and try some new ways of expressing yourself to others. There are a lot of good books that don't cost a lot available to you too. I don't want to necessarily recommend one because you will be the best judge of that when you start reading. Good luck to you. It only gets better from here out.... :)
2006-10-31 15:57:58 · answer #2 · answered by KK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Again, as you mentioned, the best way is extensive therapy. Some can be fine and love in a healthy way, but most need professional help.
It is harder for them, because often they just cannot understand how to love the right way. You cannot change a person, remember this, and especially someone with issues that are complex.
2006-10-31 15:55:01 · answer #3 · answered by aquarian77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love comes from the heart, it is a personal decision... giving love to others is more of a personal decision than an obligation.. i myself have not been given much love when i was little. i grew up with my grandparent because my mom and dad separated when i was 9 years old. but i grew up ok(",)! i made JESUS my bestfriend. i read all the stories that i can get my hands onto and eventually ive accepted that everything that is happening now in my life has a reason. ive come to realize that GOD has plans for me... ive learned that in order to receive love, i have to give love...
i learned that love doesnt have to come from other people for me to be happy. ive discovered that id be much happier if i see that people who are important to me happy... with that in mind, love comes out spontaneously from my heart to the people that i consider important to me.. giving love is not hard at all, you just have to put others feeling first... dont be ashamed to let other people see you show that you care for them, for in the end WHAT YOU GIVE IS DEFINITELY THE THINGS THAT YOULL GET IN RETURN(",)!! good luck...
2006-10-31 16:26:20 · answer #4 · answered by yuki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone feels love at one time, to feel loved depends on the individual and their idea of love i.e someone says to you "if you love me you would do something for me". If this person has never felt they were loved, love is unconditional and no human being can love this way, no one that i know anyway, try joining a church.
2006-10-31 16:01:19 · answer #5 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when some body that has never been shown love has some body that shows and tells them how much they love them u will learn to love and its not a case of learning to really u will be able to
2006-10-31 15:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive had a hard life my young years were not good, and for the longest time i was certain that i was not to be loved and that i was not able to love, that changed when i had my daughter, no im not saying to go out and get pregnant im saying that its possible, when you get a complement say thanks but mean it, give complements to your close friends and family, get a bf/gf .
2006-10-31 22:47:40 · answer #7 · answered by ang. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
learn to love yourself first
2006-10-31 23:31:15 · answer #8 · answered by jusme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋