ok so i am married with 3 kids ages 4, 2 and 7 months, well i am havig a problem with my older two, they share a room and every day i have to put clothes back in the dresser and the closet. when i say every day i mean it. then we have this toy "shelf" thing thats got canvis bags to hold everything and it comes apart easily that to is all over there room. and again every day i have to put it together and put it all away. and all of this is on top of having problems with my husband, I feel like i am all alone and i am the only one that take charge of anything, if not everything would be a huge mess. I have gotten to the point that i am sick and cant sleep trying to keep up with all 4 of them. i am at a loss and feel like i am going to snap , go nuts and find myself in the hospital.......
My husband does not try to talk to me about anythingthats going on in our home and i cant get a break, he works nights and has to sleep in the day but i feel as though i am being ignored(my needs and so
2006-10-31 07:34:31 · 10 answers · asked by babyrose26_2001 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
like i was saying.......and so on) i just dont know how to deal with this anymore, if anyone has any good advise on both problems it might just keep me saine.......
2006-10-31 07:35:48 · update #1
I just moved to a new area so i dont know anyone or if i could trust anyone or place with my children. and trying to talk to my husband is like trying to talk to a wall and wanting an answer....
2006-10-31 08:06:29 · update #2
Oh.. I know how you feel hunny. I've just learned to take a deep breathe, and not worry tto much about what needs to be done, I get what I can done. As for the kids, You may want to get the kids involved in helping you out around the house. I know they're young, but the 4 yr old is old (even the 2 yr old) enough to start learning how to clean up what we take out or play with. I have a 10 and a 6yr old and I've taught my children young and it took some time and patience(lots of it). My little one still doesn't get it all the time unless she wants something. So sometimes rewards helps. It also teaches them responsibility for themselves. I feel i'm losing my patience as I get older. And then the whole husband thing, where all they do is work and come home and dont help enough around the house. I think taking to him may help and letting him know how u feel. Life is about balancing out work and family. We have to work to provide and we have to work to maintain our marriage and each other.
Goodluck,
Hope this helps.
2006-10-31 07:52:48 · answer #1 · answered by Sicilian Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that...... I know how you feel. First you have to give your oldest childern some chores. Nothing big just like picking up their toys. And keep on top of them until they do. It will save you alot of trouble in years to come. If they do what they are told then give them a reward. If not take something form them.Like TV time. That will help. As far as your husband the next day or night that he has off find a babysitter and spend some time alone with him. Make him remember why he fell in love with you.
2006-10-31 15:54:34 · answer #2 · answered by irishlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like everyone has said, you need to find time for yourself...no matter how you find it, just do it...ASAP! Go get a massage at a day spa. Show up a few hours early so you can enjoy all the amenities before your massage. You will LOVE it!
Your husband and children need to do their parts. The four and two year olds are old enough to help, make a game of it.
So many women have been through this same issue and have survived and you will too. Just find new ways to make it better for you. God bless and good luck.
2006-10-31 16:04:57 · answer #3 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK - let me tell you - You need to take some time for yourself - and I mean ASAP. I know because I have 4 kids (2-year old twins). Do whatever it takes- hire a sitter for a day or two and take sometime to destress! Go get your hair done or whatever you like to do. You will find out that this will help you focus on the problems you have with your husband and try to figure out what is going on. (Talking to him about it is usually the best thing.)
Oh! and about the clothes on the floor- I pick up my twins room constantly- sometimes they throw clothes on the floor WHILE I am picking them up! Child safety locks may help. Sometimes we play the clean up game and I have them help me pick up the clothes or toys. But otherwise just know your kids won't be small forever!
2006-10-31 15:56:29 · answer #4 · answered by cheercraZcoach 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, been there and done that. For one you need to be teaching the older kids to help out. They can pick up and put things away. Make it a game for them. Pick out their outfits and lay them out the night before so they can get up and get dressed. No need to allow them to drag clothes all over the room! Then do you have a friend you can have watch your kids a day or two and you do the same for her? Then you can get some time for yourself. Some churches offer Mommy's day out. Or could you do one or two days of daycare? Take the kids to Grandma's for the weekend and take your husband to a bed and breakfast or go camping, just do something different! Will he watch the kids for a day or two so YOU can get away? Tfhey are his kids too and he needs to be helping you!Hang on it will get better!
2006-10-31 15:43:54 · answer #5 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
had the same situation, many Moms do; if you have a nearby friend or neighbor to watch the children while you get away from all of it for a little while, could help--you need to ask your husband to be more involved helping you out and enforcing the order in the home. small rewards for the children might encourage them to keep clutter to a minimum--they're really not old enough to get that organized right now, try to be patient-won't be long you'll wonder how they grew so fast....
2006-10-31 15:49:09 · answer #6 · answered by phyllis_neel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know where you are coming from. First of all, with the kids, set up some kind of a reward system with them to encourage them to not tear up the room. But be flexible to some extent because at that age, they are bound to be messy. As for your husband, he needs to get up and help you out. If he won't, go on strike. Stop doing all of the things that you do that make his world easy to be in and his eyes should open to how much you really do. Let him know you need some help from him.
2006-10-31 16:00:52 · answer #7 · answered by bttrfly0724 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move the mess to your husbands bed. When he comes home tell him that he will have to clean it up if he wants to sleep. And open the bedroom door and let the kids play while he is trying to sleep. All this while you sit on the couch eating bon bon's.
2006-10-31 15:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by Joesmoe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should say something to your husband he should be taking care of you and the kids thats his job as the man of the house to keep the order tell him to step up or get out cause he obviously isnt doing anything anyway
2006-10-31 15:44:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to go with your husband to counseling, he needs to understand what your going through. as for your kids, they cant tak care of themselves much yet... maybe you should consider getting a nanny to help out around the house so you can take a rest.
2006-10-31 15:44:22 · answer #10 · answered by Erikawithasmile 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋