I got a new boss about 7 months ago. I tried to not like her so I wouldn't have any feelings for her because I was very attracted to her on all levels. The past few weeks I have stopped trying to dislike her and now I can't stop thinking about her. My wife keeps asking me what's wrong. I don't know what to do. I feel so guilty because all the time i'm around my wife i'm only thinking of this woman.
I think that my boss might like me but i'm not really sure.
I'm married, she's my boss, she's 9 years older than me and is recently a single mom. Obviously that would never work.
But i try to convince myself it would.
I've been married 2.5 years and have never ever had any feelings like this. And it is more than just a lust thing, i love just talking to her and hanging out with her. Help!!!!!!
2006-10-31 07:30:04 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no! bad thing, dont get yourself into this mess it skrews up ur life! dont do it!
2006-10-31 07:32:32 · answer #1 · answered by Erikawithasmile 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand....where are you in your married life...do you love your wife, do you have kids.....etc....If you feel like your needs are not being met at home then you must ask yourself if you talk to your wife about that will it change the way she treats you and makes you feel more in love with her....Love is built on going through stuff together...Your boss is a bit of a challange right now ..but what would she really be like in a relationship. Im kind of going through the same thing right now....and things did progress to the next level...my husband and I worked through most of it...and when it came down to it my boss wasnt wanting a deep meaningful relationship anyways. I think if she wanted a relationship from you the way you are feeling she would some how make that known to you. I hope you can figure it all out.
2006-10-31 15:42:53 · answer #2 · answered by D K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get a new job. If you decide to try to date your boss, you'll need to end your marriage first. On the other hand, you never would have married your wife if you didn't love her and love spending time with her. You should look for a new job so that you don't expose yourself to this new boss and possibly ruin your marriage. If you ended up cheating on your wife with your boss, things could never work between you and your boss anyway because there would be too many trust issues. She would continuously wonder if you were cheating on HER with someone else.
Get a new job. It's the easiest way out.
2006-10-31 15:33:08 · answer #3 · answered by robtheman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are going through a temptation. its normal. but as long as you dont act upon it, its fine. does your boss have given you any indictation that she feels the same way about u as u her. just try to forget about it. i know its hard but do u really want to jeorpadize your marriage over this. these things ever end up right and everyone is going to get hurt and then you will be jobless, without a wife, marriage gone to hell, and probably will not even have a relationship with your boss.
keep the fantasies to yourself, rent a porn movie and have fun with your wife.
2006-10-31 15:35:17 · answer #4 · answered by lasalle_1986 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop and think about what you are considering. Do you love your wife? If you don't or you think your feelings for your boss are stronger, then you need to be a man and tell your wife. Then you need to leave. If you love your wife more, then you need to decide whether or not to talk to your wife about this situation. I hope you don't have any kids that you are going to put through all this crap.
2006-10-31 16:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by ANGELA S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude.... It's lust.... I suggest that you switch jobs.... YESTERDAY...
Your wife keeps asking you what's wrong? Good Gawd...how sad you've made this...
Dude... there will be temptation throughout your lifetime, even if you are in love with your wife... You make your own relationship what it is... it's your choice.
I don't know.... in this situation, I think I'd go to my wife and explain to her that you want your relationship with her to be more exciting because you're finding yourself attracted to another woman... See, you wouldn't be feeling THIS kind of temptation..this strong of a pull for this chick if you and your wife were keeping your relationship "new" together...
You owe it FIRST to your wife to let her know so she can be aware and the two of you can make things great again together...
Just think a moment.... What would your wife do if she found herself in this position? Wouldn't she owe it to you to let you know first so you, her husband had the opportunity to know what was going on with her?
Uuummmm...... Yeah...
The grass isn't greener on the other side Dude.... Water and care for your own lawn and believe me, noone will have a lawn prettier than yours....
Ya feelin' me????
2006-10-31 15:44:36 · answer #6 · answered by ~Me~ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hang more with your wife and do more things with her to get your mind off your boss. You know this can only end in disaster for all parties so try to readjust your thinking and love the one your with.
I don't want to have to come back here and call you a cad-- OK?
2006-10-31 15:42:08 · answer #7 · answered by Coo coo achoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it's not love. You can't be in love with someone if you don't even know if they like you or not. Switch your job or try to find out what it is about this woman that you enjoy. You are probably just missing that aspect from your marriage, and should try to incorporate those talks into your marriage or hang out with your wife.
2006-10-31 15:32:24 · answer #8 · answered by jit bag 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its normal for people to be attracted to other people, even when you are married. but you arent an animal...you can control your behavior. you made a COMMMITMENT to your wife and your marriage..no one ever said it was going to be easy. im sure your wife has been attracted to other people too, but did she sleep with them? no. you are being weak. stop thinking with your penis. your marriage should be the most importatn thing. quit your job if you have to, its that important. if you are having these serious thoughts, you have already committed adultery in a way. you need help. tell your wife, go see a therapist. you need reallll help here.
2006-10-31 15:34:01 · answer #9 · answered by EllisFan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone here is bashing you a bit unfairly, in my opinion. You haven't cheated, and you have been wrestling with strong emotions. I agree with what "lasalle" has to say.
Frankly, if you value your marriage, you are going to have to work someplace else. I know that is not what you want to hear and the job market is not the greatest right now, but you HAVE to remove the tempatation.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-31 15:48:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend that you start by getting off by yourself and listing what about this woman is attractive to you. Pros and cons, such as her motherhood.
Then do the same with your wife.
Incorporate the two lists, so that you have a list of things you would change about your wife, if you could.
Ask your wife to write down 10 things about you that she would change about you if she could.
The two of you exchange lists. Do not talk about it right away. Give both of you time and personal space.
Go from there.
2006-10-31 15:37:37 · answer #11 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋