a guy who i was dating asked me to marry him, i said yes but i'm am having very strong second thoughts!
what do i do? help!
2006-10-31 07:29:39 · 10 answers · asked by Erikawithasmile 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Like it or not the truth is the only thing that will work in these situations. The consequences of mistakes made in haste last for a lifetime. Telling someone you are not ready for marriage is not the same as saying you don't love them-it means you are not ready for marriage. Sit them down, talk to them, explain that you are thrilled that they asked you, but at the same time want to make sure you are ready so that it lasts forever. If they love you they will respect your concerns.
2006-10-31 07:37:24 · answer #1 · answered by ncrsjr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many reasons why you said, "Yes." The thrill of the moment, the pressure, the fear of hurting his feelings....
But if you have serious doubts because of flaws in his charachter or differences in how you look at things that are significant, break it off now.
It won't be easy. It will be embarrassing. Horrible things will be said about you, most of which will be untrue. Hearts will be broken and tears will be shed. But better that it happen now than get married and then go throug the bitter pain of divorce. With divorce you not only get to take part in all of the horrible things mentioned earlier but you get the additional bonus of legal fees involved in having lawyers get richer while tearing your life apart.
Save yourself a lot of pain. Break off the engagment now.
2006-10-31 15:35:56 · answer #2 · answered by Bud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I believe that when someone decides to enter into the passage of marriage they need to be sure. Everyone has little thoughts in their mind to if they have made the right decision, and this is absolutely normal. But, you really need to ask yourself is this really the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. If you doubt yourself then you need to evaluate your relationship and fix what is making you doubt it. If you can say, "Yes, I love him and can not see myself with anyone else, then you should go with that feeling and enjoy this time. This is your time to celebrate your love for one another and plan your life together.
Mainly, do some serious soul searching and the answer will come to you. Good luck and congratulations!!!
2006-10-31 15:39:50 · answer #3 · answered by dasiy1974 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your having second thoughts then maybe you shouldn't get married. Call off the whole thing before you end up having to pay for a divorce. Or worse in a marriage that you aren't happy in with children that you end up putting through a divorce.
2006-10-31 16:22:18 · answer #4 · answered by ANGELA S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk to him about your feelings. Maybe he can help you figure out what the problem is. Be honest with him and let him know that even though you said yes, he still needs to give you some space. Good Luck.
2006-10-31 15:52:29 · answer #5 · answered by curious mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it & let him know how you've been feeling lately ASAP. It's better to get your doubts out there now instead of when you are already married and it's too late. Hopefully, talking about it will clear up any doubts you have.
Good luck.
2006-10-31 15:33:03 · answer #6 · answered by Trixie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself why you are having second thoughts but better talk to HIM ! He is the only one who can calm all your fears!
2006-10-31 15:33:55 · answer #7 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it!!! Tell him you're having second thoughts and need some time.
If he loves you - he'll wait until you're sure.....
2006-10-31 17:30:45 · answer #8 · answered by brenny_boo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him about your thoughts. its stupid to go on with you feeling that way. its bad for you and him.
2006-10-31 15:40:31 · answer #9 · answered by BigJCliff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you could say it was to fast and you want to slow it down
2006-10-31 15:32:12 · answer #10 · answered by chaosqueen9886 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋