I'm married but my husband is lacking in the bedroom. Not enough time spent. Have other means to satisfy myself. It is just not the same.Should I seek another alternitive?
2006-10-31 06:34:40 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we do communicate. The problem I believe is he finds other things to fill his free time and it is not me. We try to spend time together he finds ways around our plans, such as his friends are coming over and he needs to entrtain them. So where does that leave me? No where.
2006-10-31 07:05:04 · update #1
So how many of you have or are in the same situation? How many of can relate?
2006-10-31 08:17:08 · update #2
i feel same way at times ,,like to find a f u c k buddie,, in the area ,,some just like you married but willing ,,freinds with benifits type deal
2006-10-31 06:39:28 · answer #1 · answered by Rooster 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Communication is the best answer in that department. Let your husband know how you feel. Ask him if he is willing to try new things, compromise in your wants and needs. Offer him some space as well. If he is not really into it, give him some time to think about it. Always be willing to see both sides of the problem. Look for ways to be intimate without having sex. Maybe this will heat things up a little first. Remember, talking about the issue in order to solve the problem is much better than finding an alternative. Good Luck and hope this helps.
2006-10-31 14:42:23 · answer #2 · answered by curious mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of being a good partner, spouse, and lover is to communicate the problems and solutions.
Tell him what you like. If he doesn't last long enough look into it together. If he's in a hurry for himself talk about it. If he's just not interested talk about that too.Maybe medical help is needed. There are many ways to improve your sex life. Have you ever let him watch you please yourself, this may be a huge turn on for him. Have you tried to get him interested, you taking the initiative may be enough to intrigue him.
If he's still not interested and you have discussed it on many levels, then it may be time for counselling. Don't go outside of the marriage for this. Look at all of the avenues within the marriage first.
2006-10-31 14:41:48 · answer #3 · answered by Buttercup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you mean another man or what? If you do, you might find someone who is a much better lover and better for you, then what a mess you will be in. If you are talking about sex toys, be careful there. Using some toys makes your sensativity decreased, and a man will not give you the satisfaction that you want.
I am sorry lady, this is not an easy question, I have been trying to solve it for myself for the last 15 years. If you are over the age thirty, and want to talk more, please feel free to do so. chop0057@hotmail.com Gerald
2006-10-31 14:42:35 · answer #4 · answered by compassion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Another alternative wouldn't help your marriage any more. That is not the answer if you want to stay married. I would suggest that you talk with him more, tell him you are tired of playing second to everything else in his life. If he loves you, then he needs to show you. In the meantime, spice things up! Dress more provocative, maybe some toys, try a "date" night. Do whatever possible to make it more interesting. I think if you make it more important in your life, he'll make it more important in his. I hope it all works out for you sweetie!
2006-10-31 15:19:02 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is because you haven't told him what you want. I would let him know how you want, where and when. Take time to spice up the sex, bring in props, food, something... you can make it work for the sake of the marriage!! And if that doesn't work, buy a vibrator, use it in front of him, and show him how it needs to be done, ha ha. Hope it gets better!
2006-10-31 14:38:44 · answer #6 · answered by Fran Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you mean looking to someone else to fufill those desires no. If you feel that you need to do that end the relationship. If you feel that love this person and don't want to end the relationship find ways to make the other situation better. Relationships are not all about sex.......if it is then it is not as wonderful as it could be anyway.
2006-10-31 14:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by rhonda c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk with him...or just seduce him.
By other alternatives I'm understanding that as cheating and that's a big no-no, it'll ruin your marriage and you'll drift away from your husband and maybe eventually divorce him which would've made getting married to him basically useless and a waste of time.
2006-10-31 14:41:50 · answer #8 · answered by Triathlete88 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I urge you to read a book called:
For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn
It may not be so much about him as it may be about the way you treat him. It helped me alot!
2006-10-31 14:38:28 · answer #9 · answered by megmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teach him. Play a game and you be the teacher and let him be the student or something. Make it fun, and gamelike, all the while encouraging him to do more and do better. Talk to him like you would talk to a puppy dog. then break out the toys and watch his eyes light up.
2006-10-31 14:41:24 · answer #10 · answered by just1more 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discuss it with the husband.. could be options. Open marriage works for some might explore that avenue and sometimes an open and honest conversation will peek his interest and yours and give both of you a new view and bring back some heat!
2006-10-31 14:39:00 · answer #11 · answered by texlatina1 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋