We moved together with our kids, but we have been separated for over a year and the issues keep us from reuniting, and now i want to go home. I dont want to keep him from his child ( he is a god dad), I just want to go back near my family and freinds. What can I do?
2006-10-31 06:28:34 · 16 answers · asked by Sassy P 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
move. get an custody order and visitation order. from there make a visitation plan that would work out for the both of you. you keep the child during the school season, and every year you switch off the holiday seasons and also split the summer vacation with him. transportation costs can be split among the both of you.
2006-10-31 06:35:10 · answer #1 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't make a selfish decision. You must keep your child's best interest in mind. If your husband is a good father he needs to remain close to his child. These days there are so many deadbeat dads, so many men who don't want to take responsibility for their own kids! Your husband (though he may be falling short in other areas) should be applauded for his efforts at being a father. Also, don't feel that you cannot rebuild your relationship with your husband. It only takes one of you to be willing. Maybe you can be that one. When we look at the big picture (the pain, the arguing over small stuff, the kids' feelings), how important is it to be right? What is that really worth in the long run? There is nothing & I mean nothing that we can't forgive another person for because we have been forgiven of so much. God forgives & forgets. Ask Jesus to help you forgive your husband & to help you to love him again. Ask Jesus to heal your heart & your hurts. He can & will do it! He did it for me. He filled the emptiness in my life. There are so many broken families today, this is why our nation is falling apart. Give your family a chance. Refuse to be a divorce statistic! Give your child a chance to be part of a family. Your child will suffer greatly, emotionally if you don't try to heal that broken marriage...I pray that your family will be healed.
2006-10-31 14:41:03 · answer #2 · answered by ELIZABETH B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there something keeping him from moving to the other state with you? New love, work that he can't transfer from?
If there is a custody battle then you probably wont be able to move back anyway, but if he's not contesting custody you just have to do what you need to do.
You really need to think of your child first. How will this affect your children? Would the advantages outweight the disadvantages? Would the other family around make up for them not seeing their father as much?
My mother had to deal with the same thing, she chose to keep me in Utah even though she had no friends and family there because she didn't feel it was right to take me from my father and she thought I'd resent her for it later.
2006-10-31 14:33:20 · answer #3 · answered by Heather S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe this is all about compromise. It is obvious that he wont be able to see the child all the time no matter where you live. I would ask him what he thought would be fair. Remember the childs feelings too. The way you handle this will affect your child for the rest of his/her life. But all in all both parents in a childs life is very important. Some people usually split the holidays, but i have always thought the child would appreciate it more if holidays were done with both parents there. Maybe he could come to your place for Christmas and you to his for Thanksgiving. As long as the two of you could get along for that amount of time for the childs sake. Just my thought.
2006-10-31 14:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by Donnie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to make the same decision ... I moved back home and never went back ... left all my belongings and started over again ... and I'm glad I did it ... I couldn't imagine my daughter growing up without my family. I had to decide what was going to be better for my daughter in the long run ... the support of my family can get us through anything ... but then again you said he was a good dad - mine wasn't ... !
So I guess you really have to choose what's best for you and your children - remember it's not all about them - you're still a person and I know I'm the happiest when my family is around .. I found somebody who is crazy about my family just as much as I am .. and couldn't ask for anything more. Good Luck with whatever you decide.
2006-10-31 14:37:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay were your husband is. Support him even if it does not feel good, You will be surprise at what will happen. I have made plenty of mistakes by doing what I wanted instead of what is best. I wish I could tell you to go on back home because I know what its is like being away from family, but what I have learned is that now that I am married my wants are no long what I act on, and my family is my spouse. Stay Motivated.
2006-10-31 15:04:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same boat besides my husband left and moved to a different state like 2 states almost 3 away. He gets visitation with our daughter everyother weekend and some holiday time with her. He can still see the child but you need to be where you are happy at.
2006-10-31 14:46:50 · answer #7 · answered by mother of 2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you become a parent, it’s not about what you want anymore. It’s about what’s best for your kids. How would *their* lives be better by separating them from their father (and I'm just assuming he's an involved Dad because all Dad's should be) just so you can have what you want (being closer to family and friends)?
2006-10-31 14:52:26 · answer #8 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have to do whats good for you and your kids. My husbands ex wanted to move back to her folks in CA so he worked out an agreement with her that she would wait until the boy was around 7yrs old and then she could move back to CA to be with her family. He had planned on moving to AZ to be closer to his son when she moved. That way he could drive up for his weekend visit and come back for work.
Talk to him is the best....tell him you are wanting to go back to your family but dont want to keep him from his kids. See if something could be worked out like him moving (not necessarly to same state) closer to where you will be so he can drive up for the weekend.
2006-10-31 14:35:42 · answer #9 · answered by Teya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow -- i practically could have written that email myself. my husband wants a divorce, but he wants me to stay where we're living now -- and i don't have any family or friends here. i want to go home. my husband has threatened everything in the book over it....saying he'll fight me for sole custody and that whole thing. i don't have any money to fight him and he has lots (or at least his family does)....i contacted a lawyer and was told that he can demand i have to stay in this state or forfeit my rights. it's so depressing. basically, i lose my son or myself. of course, i'll have to let myself go -- i wouldn't leave my child for anything. good luck to you. you'll need to contact a lawyer...most offer a free consultation.
2006-10-31 14:34:51 · answer #10 · answered by Ducky S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋