I take this woman out for coffee once in a while. I sometimes pay for her coffee. Yeah, she's pretty and intelligent... but we don't really have 'deep' conversations, we act appropriately and our coffee meetings are usually last-minute things. I have a picture of my girlfriend with me above my desk so I'm sure this woman has seen it.
I haven't told my girlfriend about all the coffee outings but I didn't really think it's a big deal. I've heard some pretty crazy definitions of cheating. Would you honestly consider this cheating?
2006-10-31 05:57:09 · 36 answers · asked by Jesse D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't feel it's cheating. I would look at cheating as my husband has been messing with a woman, holding hands, kissing, sex, that sort of stuff not going to have coffee. I would tell the girl friend because if she finds out on her own she might think you are having an affair. I know men and women can be friends and nothing more and I am not a jealous person so if it were me I would brush it off unless it was hidden from me. Ask her what she thinks about you having friends of the opposite sex.
2006-10-31 06:01:23 · answer #1 · answered by ~*~frankie~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a coffee buddy does not sound like cheating at all. Why are you buying her coffee though? That does sound a little unnecessary, unless she returns the favor.
There is nothing wrong with having opposite sex friends, but make sure that your wife knows about them. There is no reason to keep anything from your wife. I tell my wife everything. Once in a while I might not mention a phone call that I made or received, but I usually tell her all of them and all of the people that I have seen.
Remember, your wife is a part of you and by keeping things from her, you are keeping things from yourself. How can you tell her about the conversation you had over coffee, when she does not even know you had coffee with someone? Why would you hide your coffee buddy from her if you have nothing to hide?
Take care and Have a Totally Open Relationship with your Wife,
Troy
2006-10-31 06:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not consider this cheating. However, your girlfriend may be upset if she finds out and you haven't told her. When women hear you've been doing anything with another woman and have not mentioned it to us, we wonder why you felt it necessary not to tell us. If your girlfriend is reasonable you should be able to tell her you are going out for coffee. You think its not a big deal so there's no reason not to mention in your conversations about your day that you went out for coffee with this women. Keeping an open line of communication is important in all relationships.
2006-10-31 06:03:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually, if we feel guilty about something, there is a reason for it. You seem to feel a bit guilty about this coffee girl. Even though no physical stuff has occured, perhaps you think there's a chance at that?
Yes, tell your girlfriend about your friend that happens to be anohter woman. However, if you feel this coffee woman means a little more to you than coffee, perhaps you should break things off wiht the girlfriend?
Just be carefull.....I have had many guy friends that played this tight-rope stuff and ended up losing thier wives and gf's.
2006-10-31 06:33:51 · answer #4 · answered by miss_princess_goddess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and No.. I mean physically you are not sexually cheating on your girl but mentally you are because there is something abotu this woman that makes you want ot have coffee with her frequently and honestly if you didn't tell your girl about it then you knew deep down you were doing something that wasn't quite right.. Cheating can be taken in some many different ways, someone can physically not do anything but if you are thinking sexual thoughts fo someone else and are really really wantying to do them then yes you are cheating on your girl.. Talk to her, let her know that you have a female friend to whom you have coffee with sometimes, invite your girl along.. That is the biggest mistakes guys make with thier women and that is that if they haev female friends then your girl needs to know whom they are and be included whenever you wanna "hang out" with this person because no friends of the opposite sex have absolutely no business hanging out together alone.. NONE it only leads to trouble. DISTRUST mainly.
2006-10-31 06:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by cheryl m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating? NO, being sneeky, yes. You should tell your girl about this, if you don't and she does find out she is going to think something is going on because you hid it from her.
And by the way, just because your girls pic is on your desk and your sure the other woman can see it means NOTHING now days. Their are so many women out there that don't care if you are in a relationship it isn't even funny. She may have ideas on her mind. I would make it very clear to her that this is just friendly co-workers having coffee and nothing more.
2006-10-31 06:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well...first off...you're keeping something from your girlfriend...that could be unsettling to her if she finds out from someone who isn't you! Secondly...why aren't you telling your girlfriend you are meeting this other woman for coffee? If it's JUST coffee like you are saying it is...than why not be open and tell her!
If you were being honest with her than I wouldn't consider it cheating...but you are hiding something from her...so in the technical word "cheating" you aren't BUT you are being dishonest...and that could hurt her just as much as if you were being intimate with her...and being physically cheating!
Just tell her! It will make you feel better about the whole situation!!
2006-10-31 06:40:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definately think that sort of thing leads to cheating. SO far you're not a cheater but definately a deciever. Your "platonic" friend needs to go away, and you need to cease all such comminicationg. This is the time to stop what you're doing before you do cheat and you mess up your relationship. I think I could forgive something like this, but I could not forgive a cheater. I'm glad my husband doesnt drink coffee
2006-10-31 07:31:23 · answer #8 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, as long as it doesn't advance farther then just coffee. Just a tip though, if your girlfriend is like me, stop paying for this other girl's coffee, if your girlfriend finds out about the coffee trips, paying just makes it seem like there is a little more on the side
2006-10-31 06:26:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's questionable you going out with another woman even for coffee. I think it's the start of cheating that lead you away from your gf.
2006-10-31 06:08:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋