Married people?

Question

Do you feel that sometimes your marriage is blah? Just sometimes there isnt any excitment and your going through the same routine over and over again. When you feel this way what do you do? Do you look for something on the side and have physical contact or do you look for a friend on the net and have harmless fun that way where there isnt any physcial contact and just words. Or do you just get through it and hope that it gets better.

This is for inlovewow. The BJ's stop after getting married, so if your still doing them after then your better than most wives. Trust me on that one. God bless ya if you still do them.

Answer 1

Of course most the women are going to say don't cheat. I don't support betrayal, but am also a realist. If you are like most men, nature has given you certain desires and the conquest never ends. Marriage is a man-made institution, which for many is in conflict with our nature. We all can rationalize the correctness of our actions in any manner that we choose. You need to decide for yourself if: Betrayal is the act of cheating, or are you betraying yourself by fighting your genetic programming? Those that try to separate love, marriage and sex, without agreemet and understanding from their partner, then may have to live with the feeling of guilt. If that's the case, then maybe marriage just isn' t for you. Until you become very comfortable with your values and beliefs, there is no rush to do anything, so maybe take some more time to really decide who you are and what you want out of life. Trying to have it all will likely, eventually blow up and result in an ugly divorce. Best to just be totally honest with yourself and your wife, then do whatever it is you need to do.

Answer 2

Marriage is hard. Its always a work in progress. Having something on the side won't make your marriage any less blah.The marriage will still be blah but you will have some excitement for awhile on the side but when you come home nothing will have changed. You need to focus on your wife and try getting that spark back. Its easier said then done...trust me but it can work and when it does its wonderful. Have a date night each week w/out the kids. Go out dancing (together) with friends. Travel to different places. Surprise your wife with a little gift here or there. These things turn on woman and they get less bit..chy and alot more FUN to be around.

Answer 3

You take your wife on a date, spend a weekend away. Take a cooking class together or sign up for the free classes at Lowe's and tackle a home improvement job together. You do the grocery shopping and buy some really fabulous steak or sushi or whatever you really like and that you know your wife will really like and YOU cook it. Looking on the side, internet flirting, these things are only going to cause the rift to grow farther apart. Now is the time to MAN up and do the right thing and don't give up. Good luck. Oh and yeah I know about blah, but I stick it out, do something to surprise him and it always tides back to my side of the shore.

Answer 4

"Looking for something on the side" seems like kind of a cop out. Go back in your mind to the reasons that you are married in the first place. What was it that made the two of you click to begin with? It may have changed form or taken on a new identity, but some excitement is just waiting for you to find it.

Answer 5

Yeah...complacency sets in. Its called security and trust. Something that seems to be lacking in relationships because people want to look for a friend on the net and cyber and all that other crap that eventually leads to screwing around unless you live in Buffalo and she lives in Port Said.

Amazingly enough....there are times in your life when getting laid isn't the number one thing anymore. Hard to believe isn't it? Communication is first and foremost. The more you can talk, the less you disagree. As hard as that theory may be for some...they'll never achieve it and never experience a lasting relationship. Oh...and for those heads in the clouds type...there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. "Good and solid" is the best you'll get.

Answer 6

When I feel my marriage is going blah. I talk to a friend. Spend more time away from the house so that we can take break from each other. I will also take the other half to do something we've never done together before. Like shop at a sex shop or something.

Answer 7

If my marriage starts to feel bleh I turn to my husband and we try to figure out whats missing. Usually its the spontaneous sex that's missing so we do that and voila, problem fixed! If there is a problem in your relationship you should turn to your wife to help you fix it, not someone else. Anytime you look elsewhere for a connection, whether it be a friend on the net or someone else you met, you are just hurting your relationship to the point of no return. Don't do that. Work it out with your wife. There should be nothing you two can't discuss.

Answer 8

I just go to the pub, have a few beers and undress some women with my eyes. By the time I get home she,s like a new girlfriend again, this way you are not hurting anyone. Failing that have a small argument over somethig silly, make up sex is the best.

Answer 9

you talk it over with your spouse and think together of ways to spice things up, and if the problem still persists, you go to counseling. passion fades in a relationship but you can always get it back. you should give your marriage another try before just jumping into bed with someone else, is it really worth the pain you would cause your spouse?

Answer 10

Its up to you to spice things up at home if you feel that way. Do things differently, go to a motel and have some fun, be creative. Talk about what's on your mind. What do you think marriage is about, anyway?