What can do i do to get my money back from helping a friend?

Question

Hi i am new to this. I was helping a friend who i worked with several years ago. I had an affair with this person and this person is married. I had helped him and his family with some money and his wife found a note i wrote him asking if we could hook up. his wife left a voice mail essentionaly trying to black mail me in giving more money. be4 that happend i lent him 20,000 to help them out. since his wife does not work. I had found out he had been arrested for indecent eposure 6 yrs ago. he works in a school and if they found out he would be fired. I am in the process of gettig a lawyer, however i also hired a PI to keep tabs on him. He has been going to a park he lives near and is picking up men. I have talked to the PI and he is going to get a guy that is going to video tape him in the woods. He is going to send the tape to media. Am i wrong for doing this? I have tried to talk to the married man to get some of the money back and no luck
pls IM me smileycub1 at yahoo.com

Answer 1

You are throwing away your money on the PI. Who gives a flying fig what this guy is doing in the woods with other men. He's not the first gay or bisexual guy who got his rocks off with another guy in the woods, and he certainly won't be the last.

None of what you are doing is going to help you get your $20,000 back.

Stop it with the secret squirrel crap and bring the proof that you in fact loaned this guy $20,000 to a lawyer and file a suit to recover your money.

How clouded can your thinking possibly be that you think it is a good idea to try and get this guy fired when he owes you so much money? Use your freaking head. If he doesn't have a job, he won't have any income ... and if he doesn't have any income, what is he supposed to pay you with? Shells? Beads? Acorns?

Get real and get a reality check while you are at it.

Answer 2

I don't think you should go to this extent. Hiring a P.I., that's something his wife should do. You seem like a good person, but stop helping people, it seems to only hurt you. Call a lawyer, see if you could do anything. One of the first questions they are going to ask is if you have a promissory note, stating he will pay you back. Think about if you send a video tape with incriminating evidence to the media and the school finds out he will be fired (that's what you said) so if he gets fired how will you sue him. You cant squeeze blood from a turnip

Answer 3

Gee, I guess since all this is over the top of common decency you cannot sue in a court of law the way most people do unless you want everyone to find out the sordid details. Besides, statute of limitations is two years to collect any debt. It is always best to have a written contract of agreement as to when the money will be paid back. Without this you are basically screwed. Which I guess is why you are trying to catch him doing something wrong so you can blackmail him. Do you have proof of him borrowing money as in cancelled checks or money orders? You would also need something like that to prove your case.

Answer 4

So - you think there's any chance the guy's also blackmailing all these men he's doing it with in the woods? Sounds like he's sort of a male prostitute. Instead of being up-front and just charging, he has sex with people and then extorts money from them. Sounds like his wife is in on it, too. Extortion is illegal. You can press charges. Good luck with that, though.

Answer 5

1) Always get term of loans in writing, and notarized.

2) Don't ever loan friends money.

That's why there are courts. Take him to court about the money. The other stuff is in the hands of law enforcement.

Answer 6

I'm sorry, your story doesn't sound real. Why are you going to videotape him in the woods picking up men? If he owes you money, just take him to court and be done with it.

Answer 7

Stop having sex with other peoples husbands. You've created a monster...