This is our second child, our first will be a year on Nov 6. This pregnancy however is very hard on me resulting in a strain on the relationship. I am only 9 weeks but just cannot muster the energy to do anything, I feel like I just cannot wake up no matter how much sleep I get. I have extreme mood swings, where one minute I am okay and the next I am freaking about how stressful a new child will be. Don't get me wrong I am excited about this new life. How can I get him to understand that I am doing everything I can to make everyone happy and for him to realize how hard and demanding pregnancy is?
P.S. I just returned to college full time the end of august and recently picked up a part time job (I just quit today due to the strain).
2006-10-31 05:22:00 · 7 answers · asked by flaminfortune 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I don't ask for your opinions on children out of wedlock. We are not in the 1930's anymore, you don't have to be legally married to have a happy healthy family.
2006-10-31 05:29:30 · update #1
To Lottie: I am young but that does not mean I am incapable. I have been with my fiance for 5 years. We had a wedding date set for Feb 17, 2007 but I chose to postpone it due to the fact that I do not want to be a pregnant bride. We have moved it to Feb 2008. My fiance will not bail, he is the best father that I could ask for for my children. He is supportive but it sounds like your husband is completly "whipped" and you wear the pants every day in the family.
2006-10-31 07:07:15 · update #2
I emailed my husband a link
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pregnancy/PR00004
it helped him to understand me and also council me through my mood swings. telling me what was going on, and that I just had to beat it at its own game.. just being reminded your hormones ARE the cause of your mood swings, takes away some of the despair, i didn't snap out of it but i understood it a lot more and it helped me get through it.
as for the sleeping 16 hours a night is my average...
its most likely impossible for you though with a one yr old.
he really needs to go above and beyond to hellp you out - its hard but thats the way it works. no use worrying about the stresses a new kid will bring, worrying won't change a thing just think about how when your other child is 4 he can keep the 2 year old happy and occupied. they'll play together.
2006-10-31 05:33:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every pregnancy is different. I was stressed about having a second one also, but it's really not that much different other than getting used to those midnight feedings again. Take your time, maybe schedule a few warm baths during the day or take time out just for you a few minutes here and there to help with the stress! Good luck!
2006-10-31 13:35:18 · answer #2 · answered by Mom to Foster Children 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard for men to understand the difficulties of pregnancy. Fortunately my husband has been pretty understanding. I had to quit my job too and have been relatively bedridden with morning sickness. I am 10 weeks and still can't do much. I can't cook, I can't clean, I just get sick. Maybe you could have him talk to other women who are going through a difficult pregnancy. Have him read some literature, or read it to him. There are some good books out there that help men understand a little more what their partners are going through. Good Luck and Congratulations!
2006-10-31 13:28:51 · answer #3 · answered by jamiasl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound so young, and misunderstood. You b/f sounds like a real selfish chump.
Call me old-fashioned, but if you are going to have 2 children with somebody, don't you think they deserve to have married parents?If you are good enough to be his kids' mother, and him their dad, why not bother to get hitched? Why not?
Not ready? Quit having babies until somone is ready to stick around.
I gotta tell you I think you might still suffering from post-partum depression from the first baby.-maybe you are just tired, but you might be sick.
Have you been to a doctor? Can't afford not to go.
I think 2 babies in diapers is nuts, especially when you are having trouble with your relatonship. You need to figure out how you are going to take care of one and yourself, when b/f bails out. And he will bail out or he would have insisted on marrying you--already.
If you were my daughter and that child my grandchild, I would drive you to the abortion clinic to get yourself freed from this inconvenient, ill-advised, unplanned and ridiculous "new life."
You want more to take care of? Get a puppy.
After you have gotten the first one to be 2-3 and in pre-school, and have a stable, loving relationship and a good job/ house to afford it, THEN you might think about having #2.
Give your children a break, and don't just pump out babies because you can. I could have had 20 by now, but I CHOSE to have 2, because I could have raised them alone if I had to.
They are both grown and happy now.
2006-10-31 13:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He can't ever fully know how hard and demanding it is, but you can at least explain it to him as best you can. Explain to him that it's just causing so many hormonal changes that everything is unbalanced now and it's stressful. Hopefully he'll understand. Good luck and God bless to you both.
2006-10-31 13:26:17 · answer #5 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you are normal i have three children my wife was bed ridden for the last two due to problems (both children were fine )if he loves you he will go out of his way to help you if not then maybe you should think twice about marying him (happily married for 12 years)
2006-10-31 13:34:37 · answer #6 · answered by edward m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is overwhelmed with the financial pressures associatd with raising another child
Question: why the 2nd pregnancy when 1st one still out of wedlock
2006-10-31 13:27:18 · answer #7 · answered by Mopar Muscle Gal 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋