help...i'm a senior in hs and im pregnant?

Question

I'm a senior in high school and i'm pregnant with my best friends baby...he has a girlfriend and i feel terrible for making such a stupid mistake and sleeping with my friend, and also being the other women. I always said if something like this happened to me I would keep the baby, but now im not so sure...i'm smart i get A's and i plan to attend college next year, plus i've drank and smoked almost everyweekend since we had sex and im scared that even if i had the baby wouldnt he or she have problems. I dont know what to do i think i def. wanna have an abortion but im scared and i dont know if i should even tell the father, because we've been best friends all of high school, and we never even kissed until that night and i really like him, a lot and i'm afraid if i tell him that im pregnant even though im going to have an abortion he'll become really distant. so basically i need to know...should i have an abortion and if i do should i tell the father

thanx to everyone who left me answers some of them were helpful but i just wanted to clear a few things up, because some people obviously think im stupid and a whore and a bunch of other terrible things but im not...we did use a condom however obviously they arent perfect, they break... i know abortion isnt a form of birth control i'm not going around having multiple abortions and my friend and i are really close and he's a great guy and not a jerk and he feels really bad about what he did to his girlfriend and so do i but we are only human and we make mistakes...we usually tell eachother everything but i know him and he doesnt like children and never wants to get married or have kids so telling him is even harder, i'm going to consider an open adoption, but where i'm from pregnant girls are not the norm at all...i'm from a really nice area, and people see me as a role model...i dont want to let everyone down, but i also dont wanna be called a murderer, i feel like i lose either way.

Answer 1

First, calm down. I have been in your position, I was pregnant at 16, and had an abortion. Now first you must tell the father. If you lose him or if he becomes distant than you need to just trudge forward. If he is that lousy of a person then you don't need him in your life. But morally you are obligated to tell him. Second if he is willing to cheat on his girlfriend and not care for you if you are pregnant wtih his child, doesn't sound like someone you want around. I don't know your parents or your situation, but you need to tell them if you are not abused or neglected. They will be angry and upset, but it will calm down and they are the best hep you can have. If you feel an abortion is right for you, then you do it. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. If you come to think that you can't have an abortion, then remember there are millions of people, like my husband and I, who would love to adopt a baby. So if you can't go through the abortion, just remember you can give the baby a nice home. Ther are programs to hlep you. Also don't let people guilt you out of your decision,make the one that is best for you. All you have in your uterus right now is a bunch of cells, nothing more. I know people are going to hate me for saying that. The baby can't even live on it's own till you are 5 months pregnant. a doctor won't even attempt to say a baby when the mother is less than 5 motnhs along. I have 3 boys, trust me. First go to your parents. and if you nedd anything e-mail me please. I know your scared, but you make the descison that is best for you.

Answer 2

I was a senior in high school when I got pregnant too. I did the partying until I found out I was pregnant. My baby is fine. I told the doctor everything.

You need to tell the father of the baby...no matter what. It takes 2 to tango so you aren't the only one who needs to be involved. I honestly don't believe in abortions, and I would not recommend it. That I believe is not the answer. If you don't want to keep the baby you could put it up for adoption. But you need the support either way. From your family and the father. I know it is hard, and that you didn't want it to be like this but these were the cards you were dealt. Now you need to figure out a plan on how to make it work. And stick with it. I was a young mom too. And you can make it. I am not going to lie it will be a hard road which ever road you take. But you can do it.

Just think it over and don't leave anyone important in the dark on this matter. Don't rush into any quick fixes. Take your time and truly think about it. And who is to say that if you had the baby that you couldn't go to college still? Nobody...it may take a little longer but keep your eye on the prize and you will make it.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

First just to let you know, I am not religious so my opinion is not based on any religious belief. I do however think that once the sperm and egg connect, the spark of life begins and a soul, or spirit or whatever you want to call it enters the egg and a human life begins. So I believe aborting it at any point is murder. People always want the easy way out of their mistakes so certain members of society have conditioned people that a fetus is not "alive" early in a womans pregnancy.
As far as dad goes, you should let the father know. He did take part in creating this life. Personally, as you may know I think you shouldn't have the abortion. It is not the fault of your baby that you got pregnant. You made a mistake and that happens. Your human so you will make more mistakes. Just don't make the mistake of killing your baby. Right now it is your legal right to kill your baby, but still, it is alive now. Just because your baby may fit in the palm of your hand at this point it doesn't mean that it is not a human life. If you decide you don't want to keep your child and the father doesn't want to raise it, you can put it up for adoption. Good luck with your decision. And if you do keep it, stop drinking and smoking. Your baby should be OK if you stop those things now. The biggest thing is to be honest with everyone. If you’ve been "best friends" with the father all of HS then maybe it will work out.

Answer 4

Tell him and you'll find out what type of man he really is, a real man will help support any decision you make and if you keep the baby do what he needs to do to provide for the baby. Have you talked to your gynecologist about your habits and the fetus? Abortion is only one option there is always adoption which is a very good choice. This is a decision you and you alone must make. If you've decided on the abortion go for it each young woman is entitled to her own choices do what YOU feel is right not what others think. Would your parents be willing to watch the baby while you are in school? Other family members etc. ? all things to consider if you keep your baby.

Answer 5

If you stop drinking and smoking now you should be fine. Try to think more about the baby than about anything else... (I mean, try not to focus on how it will affect you and the guy.) If he had sex with you while he was dating someone else, that's something he's going to have to own up to his girlfriend, not you. Think about alternatives to abortion - like adoption. Although it may be hard for you for the next nine months, if you consider adoption, you will be able to continue to live your life fairly normally after the birth. Remember, a lot of women have extreme emotional problems after an abortion. Think about what abortion is... it's really a selfish act if you think about it...
And while you're pregnant, keep your weekends clean... it may be a little rough sometimes, but you can prove to everyone that you only made one bad choice, not a lot of bad choices. Keep getting those A's and keep planning for college. You don't have to choose between your baby's life and your future. It will be a little harder than before you got pregnant, but you can do both.
I hope you do well!

Answer 6

Please please don't have an abortion that lil baby growing inside you needs you to not do this ok? i have a one year old son I'm 18 years old and i am still in high school (senior) but there is another option for you ADOPTION the other A word please if you don't wanna keep this child go to a counselor at an adoption agency you can choose the parent(s) too if you arrange it that way this is the most important decision of your life and giving this baby up for adoption will allow you to still continue with your plans but please honey do not kill this child when i saw the first ultra sound pictures of my son i cried because he was so beautiful once you see that you wont want to kill that child because you see the little hands and little feet and the cute peanut head please think before you make your decision look into adoption then make your decision you will feel much better if you make the adoption choice because abortion can cause many psychological problems so please do some research and yes tell the father. please make the right decision you will regret it the rest of your life if you don't think this through first Good luck and God bless
Pick up the book Gianna and read that

Answer 7

Either decision you make, to have the baby or to have an abortion, make sure you're making the decision for YOURSELF!! Just try and think of what you really want and don't think about anyone else because in the end it is YOU that is going to have to live with whatever choice you make. I'm a college freshman and I have had a boyfriend for three years now and we had one big scare. He was telling me that I needed to have an abortion because we wouldn't be able to afford a baby, but I decided for myself that I would have the baby if I ended up being pregnant. After talking long and hard we came to an agreement to have the baby, but I ended up not being pregnant. If the father really cares about you then he will eventually come around to whatever choice you make; just remember, in the end, it is your body, so it is YOUR choice!!

Answer 8

Tell him, if he is as good a friend as you think then he will stand by whatever it is that you decide to do. Try not to have an abortion there are other ways of dealing with unwanted babies for example, adoption. Abortions don't always work and even if it does you might end up unable to have children again. If you get baby adopted then you can give another couple the chance to care for a child when maybe they can't have one of their own.

Answer 9

U should of though of that before u laid down with the guy! U have a baby an innocent life that is ur own flesh and blood! And u have the nerve to consider abortion?! What type of person does that to their own child?!!!!!!!!!!! If u get an abortion not only will u have guilt the rest of ur life but u'll be going to hell probably for murder! Do u really wanna risk that?! My advice is u got pregnant now stand up and take responsibility for ur actions and get a job so u can take care of ur baby!!!!!!!!!! And if u do act like a coward and get an abortion I pray ALLAH has mercy on ur soul!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

If he's your best friend, talk to him. Tell him the truth. After all, he knows that if you two had sex, pregnancy could be an outcome. It takes two to make a baby, so don't blame yourself alone. Abortion (and I am not against it, either) is a big step to take without having some support on your side. Let your mom know what's going on with you. If you are mature enough to have sex, knowing the potential consequences, then you are mature enough to come forth and let the necessary people know. After discussing this with your friend, you will have a better understanding of what step to take next. It's your body, your decision; you can weigh the effects of whatever you decide to do. Good luck.