Drinking clubing and staying out late. Need i say more? when i checked the phone record she was calling this specific guy very late. But she says they were just flirting. I kicked her out I have two kids I feel I did the right thing any suggestions?
2006-10-31 04:55:32 · 15 answers · asked by Joey V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have two kids and i told her to leave, when I found out shes been talking to this guy very late and wouldn't give me a reason why, that made it worst I also came to find out that twice she told me she went out with her friend a girl to the movies and I just found out that was a lie they went out with another guy to the shooting range and another time to a bar never to the movieshere. also i went through her work e-mails and shes asking guys for cell phone numbers, out to get a drink, out to her friends house to drink. I would of never known this unless I checked the e-mails. suggestions? Oh and we had a trip to frisco planned for two weeks last minute she cancelled (work) I just found out they went out clubbing and a guy called her at 2:48am I was out of town I wonder if she even came home. things that make you say HMMM.
2006-10-31 05:42:37 · update #1
You did the right thing. Your children should be a priority and her behavior is inappropriate. She didn't tell you because she knew it was wrong and that she was establishing another relationship. Married women and men with healthy relationships don't flirt with others unless they have an agenda. If she didn't fool around already she has already laid out the ground work in making potential lovers know she is available. She is taking you for granted and forgetting about the example she is setting for her kids.
2006-10-31 05:01:18 · answer #1 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think you have the right to throw her out of her own home and what about the kids? You can't keep the kids from her. Don't go getting yourself in trouble here. Handle it legally. Obviously if she is cheating you are going to want a divorce unless you are into that whole forgiveness thing. Let me tell you from experience though that they will always cheat again. I took my ex husband back over and over and it never changed. If my husband today cheated I wouldn't think twice before I divorced him. It would be over. It's wrong to cheat. It's hurtful and there is no reason why anyone should put up with it. Your wife has no business going out all of the time with these people and drinking. She is a wife and a mother and she should grow up. She isn't a kid anymore and her behavior is inappropriate. I would never do that and my husband would never allow it. Same goes for him. We don't do anything without the others permission. As far as those phone calls, it definitely sounds as though she is cheating but you need to get all the facts. Is there a slight possibility you might be wrong about this? Don't throw away your marriage on a hunch. Mainly, you have to trust yourself but if their is no trust in your relationship then your marriage has already failed. I think you should at least talk to your wife. See what she has to say. I hope you are able to work things out and remember to think of the children in all of this but... Never stay together for the children. No one will be happy and they will grow up and look back at a childhood that they aren't happy to remember. Take care.
2006-10-31 13:12:52 · answer #2 · answered by Jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you did, A married women has no business flirting with any other man. I think going out once in awhile with the work gang is OK, you know if it's a birthday, going away, promotion, some kind of celebration. But if it's all the time and the spouse is not invited to come along, then there is something up!
Happily married people would not put there spouse in a position to worry that somethings up! I'm sorry that this is happening to you, but don't worry, it gets better. There will be someone out there that will love you the way you deserve to be loved!
and don't worry about the kids, It is better for then to have two separate parents then one unhappy set of parents. You don't want them to grow up thinking this is as good as marriage can be. It's better for all of you! I know it doesn't feel like it now, but be strong, they need you more now then ever. Good luck
2006-10-31 13:09:48 · answer #3 · answered by dreamteam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that fact that she was not honest about and hiding it from you implies that something is going on that you would not have approve of. if you know the name tell her your planning to use let the court know that you have a relationship with him. document all the times she has been out with him, it will help you in your custody dispute to keep children. if she wants to talk talk but tell her she has to explain it all and be open and honest about it. then you can decide for yourself whether or not your better off going it a lone. she has destroyed the trust for that reason and that reason alone you where justified in doing what you did. the question you have to ask yourself is if she did it once would she do it again if she found the right circumstances
2006-10-31 13:26:20 · answer #4 · answered by redsyoungstud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the guys hitting on your wife,probley just makes her feel good,wanted,sexy....maybe this is something your not doing? Umm there's always going to be a trust issue I think,no matter how much therapy you both have. But you were hastey on throwin' her butt out,you do have 2 kids.....and they ask questions. The better thing to have done was,pack a few things and move out yourself,get alittle appartment and move on,work on getting a lawyers and keeping the divorce civil,with as little stress to the kids as possible.
2006-10-31 13:07:54 · answer #5 · answered by vanislandwitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you overreacted. Before you jump to conclusions maybe you should get some concrete evidence!
Give her a chance to rationally explain herself. I have lots of male friends.
And maybe she has been stuck at home with the kids for an extended period of time, maybe she feels she hasn't had a chance to have a youth. Maybe she is having a difficult time and the going out helps her, be supportive to her. Find someone to watch the kids and go with her.
Talk to her reasonably before hastily throwing her out!
2006-10-31 13:06:05 · answer #6 · answered by April M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow.....just like that you kicked her out? Have you asked yourself why is my wife going out all the time instead of being home with me? Her going out is not the PROBLEM in your marriage. The PROBLEM in your marriage is CAUSING your wife not to come home. It takes two to make or break a marriage.It seems easy for you to blame the failure on your wife and I am wondering if YOU want to be married any longer since you were soooo quick to kick her out. It seems like she made a convenient excuse for you to dump her.Try being honest with yourself before poining fingers.
2006-10-31 13:19:52 · answer #7 · answered by trixinator 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has been cheating on you emotionally if not physically. You both need therapy.
Why is she running from her responsibilities as a mother and wife? Why/what does she need to hide her feelings? Only she can answer these questions.
If you both are willing to work on this, you both need to go to family counseling. Is this affecting the kids, if so, they might need to go too.
2006-10-31 13:01:05 · answer #8 · answered by childjl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you may have been a little hasty just throwing her out. Maybe you two need to sit down and talk some more. Maybe she is telling the truth and you could be throwing your marriage away over a misunderstanding. The truth will come out though so hang in there. Sucks how it is soo hard to trust people anymore. Good luck :)
2006-10-31 12:59:51 · answer #9 · answered by PeAcHeS 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
good move
If she wants to act single then she should not be living in your home with your kids.
I would create a separate checking and savings acct.
If she is going to live on her own she needs to live off what she earns and not use ANY of your money.
Be fair, but not generous.
That's about it.
2006-10-31 13:39:23 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋