How can I get my husband to help more around the house?

Question

He always makes promises but never follows through and I don't think I should have to do EVERYTHING. I get tired too.

Withholding sex does not work on my husband. In fact, nothing sexual does so the sex comments can stop. Also, I can stop doing his laundry and he drops it at the cleaners. If he really needs socks he will do one little measly load once in a great while. He just won't help me. He will make the kids pick up after him before he will get off his butt.

I have also gone on strike more than once. We will live in a filthy pig sty and he will step over things and buy paper plates! It's hopeless isn't it?

Answer 1

most men don't help in fear that the wife will not be happy with the way they do a job. i get my husband to help buy ether leaving him a hunny do list when I'm gone or just starting a bunch of jobs and asking him to finish them and moving on to something else like ill clean the front room then ask him kindly would he run the vacume while i clean the kitchen and he mumbles but does it. my mom told me men dont think that things are dirty till they step on it or sit in it lol they just are that way lol and if this dont work obviosly hes an *** give him an automatim

Answer 2

I had this problem when I got my first apartment with my hubby. He had NO chores at home. We both worked full-time jobs, and since it was an apartment there was no outside work needed. He felt that all he needed to do was go to work and come home - that the house and everything in it was my responsibility. Needless to say that didn't last long. We had discussions and arguments about it. Granted, if I wasn't working outside the home it would be a different story. My day was even longer than his, as I had to take an hour for lunch (to his 30 minutes), and my drive to work was 45 minutes each way (to his 15 minutes).

Well, simply put, I went on strike. I quit doing EVERYTHING. I would cook for myself, but then leave the dishes dirty. I would hand-wash my clothes that I needed for the next day. I did absolutely nothing except was required for me to continue through to the next day. Needless to say it took almost 3 weeks of living in total filth. It was incredibly nasty. It was just about the hardest thing I've ever done, but it eliminated the problem.

He learned that our house is just that - ours. We both cook and clean and do laundry and shopping. Throughout the years, we've each gotten used to doing certain things, so some chores are his and some are mine - but it's still a team effort.

good luck!!!!

Answer 3

Try doing less. If the laundry piles up, dishes aren't clean, meals not cooked. He'll get the message, but don't just sit around. You have to appear to be too busy to do this . IE, write letters, play with the kids, create a buget, something where he can't come back and say that all you've been doing is sitting around or talking on the phone.

Answer 4

You obviously arent going to stop doing what needs to be done, because you are not going to let your kids suffer because of him. That's good for you. I sometimes have a problem with my husband and we just talk, or I wait and it eventually gets done, but my husband helps a lot. I'm guessing by this point you've already tried talking to him, but because I dont know what else to tell you, think about how you talk to him. Do you go yell at him while he's watching tv and ask why the chore isnt done? Do you ask in private and explain that you cannot do it all yourself. Are you calm and assertive and loving, and try to get him to focus?

Answer 5

I had trouble getting my husband to help around the house at first. I always wanted help with the dishes at the end of the day. He was always too busy to help me. My solution: I contiually asked for help for two weeks. At the beginning of the third week, I told him that I wasn't doing another dish until he helped. It took 5 days of dishes in the sink before he finally helped me. Now every night, one of us washes and the other dries. After that, he helps out more, especially with laundry. I told him that he could start folding his clothes and put them away after I wash them. He does it now. I guess that he doesn't want to go without clean clothes. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

You can talk to him or stop doing his laundry. When he aint got nothing clean to wear & asks you, tell him you had more important thing to do, like cook him dinner & keep the house clean for him. Then he might start to appreciate all the work you do around the house.

Answer 7

Make up a chart of things each person must do each day. Whoever does the best at completing their lists gets a special weekend reward... a night out with the guy/girls... a weekend break from ALL chores (you'll have to make up your own list)

for example I have friends that my hubby can't stand. If he doesn't do his household chores, guess where we spend our Saturdays?!?!

Answer 8

Just talk to him about it. Let him know that you are not his maid and he needs to help. When my husband does this, I gather everything up that he said he would clean up and put it all in one pile in a random spot in the house. Be it clothes, dishes, magazines, mail, whatever.... He gets mad at me and learns to clean up!! He hates it when he can't find things, so I have taught him to put them where they belong right away. If he leaves stuff out it is guaranteed that I will put it somewhere else....

Answer 9

what you do is STOP? STOP doing the things that you. He'll noticed that things are getting done. Then he'll take you seriously. Tell him as soon as you can get some help from him with doing those things, you'll have no problem doing them.

Answer 10

maybe u should start making promises and not following thro - if u get my drift! lol tell him u would love to do that "whatever" that u promised him - but after doing all the housework - ur just too tired.