I have a friend that I loaned money to this week(because I thought that she needed it for her children) then I found out that that same night she went out drinking. I was so mad because I have a child too and I could have used that money for him. This just adds to the list of things that she has done to me. I feel like I want to end our friendship, but we have been friends for 10 years-even though I have been hurt by her many times. What should I do?
2006-10-31 04:41:54 · 22 answers · asked by helloworld 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Brush her off for a little while until you cool down, and the next time she tries to approach you, tell her what you decide you have to. Ten years is long enough to change your attitude enough to change a friendship. It happens. My best friend and I didn't talk to each other for a year because she was going through a selfish streak and I was going through a moody streak, and when it was time to talk again we did. She's like a member of my family. If we would have fought instead of going our own ways I think it would have turned out differently, so I think that's the trick: being flexible enough to go your own ways and come back together if you can.
2006-10-31 04:54:41 · answer #1 · answered by Em 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry. SHE is NOT a friend! A true friend would not do that to you. By giving her money, you are enabling her drinking habit. She can use her children as an excuse she has sunk to an all time low and you don't need that in your life. Be up front with her, tell her how you feel, how you don't like being used and you don't like the fact that she uses her children as an excuse. Let her know if she wants help with her problem, you will be there for her but you are not a bank and you have your own family to take care of! Its not as hard as it seems. GOOD LUCK and GOD BE with you so that its easier. Hugs!!
2006-10-31 12:46:43 · answer #2 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, that is a really good question. There are alot of ways you can handle this problem. First, you can talk to her about what has been brothering you and to ask for your money back. Tell her how you feel,and if she doesn't listen to what you have to say then she is really not your friend. Listen friends come and go and I know that I don't know you but they come and go, sometimes they know who to stick around. They know who to use. You might find that friend that will be there through thick and the thin but there are some friend that are in your life to teach you a lesson on trust and true friendship. Talk to her and if you still feel the same just give her the pink slip. It is same to keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer. Pray and ask God to lead you in the direction in which he wants you to go. God bless you!
2006-10-31 12:52:37 · answer #3 · answered by rochelle29 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to talk to her...but first, a simple rule NEVER give out money u cant afford NOT to get back especially when you have a child yourself....um, but u do need to talk to her, let her know ur feeling used....distance afterwards might help to but if this has been goin on for 10yrs of ur friendship, it seems the friendship is a little too one sided to me....but definitely let her know how ur feeling...if she's really ur friend she'll make an effort to change...good luck
2006-10-31 12:45:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that she has hurt you many times, yet you still lent her money tells me you need to find another friend. Or grow a brain. She has taken advantage of you, no doubt, over the years and you seem to keep letting her.
2006-10-31 12:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ASk for the money back. If she ever is in need again, and you feel that you should help, then buy the actual products she needs, instead of giving her money, Then you at least have some control over what she spends it on.
2006-10-31 12:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by Rum_Punch_Girlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice would be to end the friendship, she dont seem to really now what friendship is, she is using you. let her go and if she sees that what she had done to you was wrong she would want to be your friend and this time treat you right. but if you choose to still be friends be careful when you give your money to her
2006-10-31 12:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by MARSHA W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you answered your own question. Would a real friend take money knowing you need just as bad. A real friend would help you thru everything and never make you look back and wonder if you did the right thing.
2006-10-31 12:52:00 · answer #8 · answered by Tami B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep it simple. dont put yourself out there and the next time say no. not unless they need milk or something then buy it for them dont just give her money.keep a low key. no reason not to be friends unless you choice to which is ok b/c it sounds like your the better mom already and you dont need someone that would rather drink then take care of her family in your family lives.
2006-10-31 12:50:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
KILL HER !!! HAHAHAHHAHAH jk jk jk jk jk (jk= Just kidding)
i think you need talk to her as a best friend and say " think about your family if you went out drink you just waist money for your kids and waist your life"
and then try to ask her to give back your money eventho maybe she wont even pay it back just keep ask her until she stop ask for money from you.
and tell her to get a job
2006-10-31 12:46:39 · answer #10 · answered by gila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋