Birth control question...?

Question

I'm about to get married and both of us are virgins. We are trying to decide on what type of birth control to use. She can't take the pill it makes her sick. We decided to use condoms. My question is does s*x feel different when using condoms than when you're not or does feel about the same. Also do you recommend any birth control option other than the pill/patch and condoms

Answer 1

Condoms are probably your easiest and best option. Sex does feel different with condoms, but it is still great. I would recommend using a lamb skin condom, rather than a latex. They do not protect against many stds, but that should not be a worry for you. They do offer the best feeling for both partners. They are extremely thin, and, in my opinion, the closest thing to wearing nothing at all.

Answer 2

My wife and I were also each others firsts and at first we did use condoms. Yes, there is a difference. Think of it as how things feel when you have a latex glove on vs nothing on your hand. Things you touch feel different, especially someone else's skin, etc. Don't let this stop you though. The experience will still be great although don't expect your first time to be "perfect" as it is most likely to be awkward at first. ;-)

As for pills, shots and etc, my wife has tried them all. The best for her was Lunelle (no spotting or bleeding, no sickness, no pregnancy). However, that was recalled in 2002 and it is no longer available. Info here: http://health.rutgers.edu/news/Archived/lunelle.htm

She had also tried Depo, but with that she had spotting and bleeding very frequently which is why we had switched to Lunelle. After that, we went to the Ortho-tri-cyclen and that worked out wonderfully. No sickness (take when not on an empty stomach and late in the evening), no spotting or bleeding except during the normal week during the cycle and it was effective.

Last year, she stopped taking it so we could get pregnant and we used condoms for 3 months to ensure all the meds were gone out of her system for certain. We then got pregnant during the first month, but had a miscarriage. We got pregnant again the next month and now have an 8 month old in perfect health. Once he was born, she went to a Micronor pill which is safe while breastfeeding. It's not our favorite since there is quite a bit of spotting / bleeding - more than just a week cycle. However, this is different for everyone.

Whatever you choose, know that you aren't stuck with it. Implants of course have the longest effective time which is why we did not want to go that route. Depo wears off after 3 months and some other shots are 1 month only. Pills can be stopped immediately if there are adverse reactions.

I would recommend talking to her OB to get recommendations of course and doing more research on each method so you can make a fully informed choice.

Congratulations on your wedding and for waiting for each other. It's truly a rare occurrence now.

Answer 3

From what my husband says yes it feels different!

As for the birth control, it will make her sick for at least the first 6 weeks. It should go away after that, if she can handle it that far! The other options are the ring. She inserts it in her vagina and leave it. That also emits hormones though.

There are other options for birth control too, you can use Ortho Tri Cyclin Lo. It has low levels of hormones. Also there is the IUD, which I personally have. The copper one is inserted in the uterus through the vagina. It is good for 10 years. It can be removed whenever you would like, and it is the more effective form of control on the market. There are some risks associated with it so she will need to go talk to her gynecologist. I am sure any questions she has her doctor can answer.

Answer 4

First, Big UPs on being Virgins, That is wonderful!!!!! I would say to she could try the nouva ring. It is very thin. She can just insert it and you leave it in for 3 weeks, I think. From a female point of view. I personally do not like condoms. They feel different to me. My husband and I rely on my bc pills. I had the patch which was wonderful, but providers do not recommend it now b/c it is not safe. I take Estrostep now, it is a low dose pill. It is easy to swallow and it works. Depo could work, but I have a lot of friends on it and they spot a lot. It has so many side effects. I had a friend that gained a lot of weight b/c she stayed hungry.

Answer 5

I think it is wonderful that you are both virgins! Congrats! I used condoms with my ex husband and to me I didn't notice any difference. Condoms are about 80%...chance of pregnancy.

I am 38...but when I was 32 I got an IUD. To me it is a blessing. There is no thought involved. It is inside me and it lasts 10 years. The doctors didn't know if they wanted to put it in me since I never had a baby, but I insisted since I can't take the pill.

A diaphragm is an other method. You insert it in you before intercourse. The problems with that are...if the womans weight changes more than 10 pounds she has to be refitted. Also it can kill the mood...dealing with inserting it.

Answer 6

No, it does not feel different with a condom. People say it does just to get out of using one. But you can't tell. How many different birth control pills has she tried? There are so many different ones. If one makes her sick, maybe she could ask her doctor to put her on another one and see if she tolerates that better.

Answer 7

Yes, sex does feel different for both with condoms. I would suggest that she speak with her Doctor about the Depo shot. The IUD has also had great improvements over the past, their is the Sponge, and Spermicidal foams. How does she know that the pill makes her sick? You said you were both virgins, so why would she have been on the pill before? I know sometimes it is used to regulate periods, but not very often.

Answer 8

Condoms feel different. A plus is that they help you last longer in bed, a minus is that some condoms are so thick and clumsy, you cant feel anything. Best to use ultra sensitive, or ultra thin condoms. They are prone to breaking, but they are as close to natural skin on skin as possible. Sheepskin is close too, but not a very good barrier that the latex is. If her hymen is broken, you could use a female condom, but they are clumsy too. Then of course, there is "pulling out" or pulling your penis out and ejaculating so you dont shoot inside her, but that takes some control and a little luck.

Answer 9

I can't use the pill either. I didn't find out about it until I was already pregnant with my two year old. We did the whole condom thing and didn't like it. I t felt nothing the same to us. I eventually went to the gyno and they recommended i try a diaphragm. Didn't like it much either. It took all the spontaneity out of it. I finally decided to try an "IUD". I have really liked it. I don't have to do anything with it, except have my doctor check it at my yearly exam. I would definitely recommend having her discuss this with her doctor. It'll be worth it I swear.

Answer 10

Barrier methods are the most benign. Condoms don't affect her much but do feel different for you.
After you've been married for a while and are a lot more comfortable with your sexuality you might try a diaphragm.
Safe, effective does not get in the way and requires little preparation. Go to the gyn to get fitted and instructed.