Falling in love with fictional character?

Question

I'm 15 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. Not because I couldn't find one, but because I'm waiting for the real one that I will marry with and lose my virginity with. I don't want to have a girlfriend just because it's cool or something. I'm waiting for the real one.
But my emotions don't say so. I often fall VERY DEEPLY in love with fictional (videogame, movie) characters. The fact that these characters don't exist cause depression for me. I don't want to fall in love with imaginery characters.
1) Is this a normal period of emotional development?
2) How to fall out of love with some fictional character?

Answer 1

I think this is a stage people go through in their life-- particularly teens, (around your age) mainly because you're exposed to many romantic fictional characters through video games, tv, books etc.

Everyone will want the perfect partner to end up with, and many people who create fantasy figures often have that in their subconcious. They want something more than what they see in reality. So logically, you don't have to be alarmed. You are simply assuming that these fictional characters are better (stronger, funnier, nicer, prettier, tougher, hotter) than real life counterparts.

Personally, I think everyone falls in love with fictional charaters all the time-- and it doesn't have to be in a romantic sense. I love comics because I find the characters, who have supernatural powers, really cool. I follow the story because I want to see what happens to my favorite character. That's a hook in fiction, authors make you care about a character, (thus in some way, fall in love with them) so that when something bad happens to said character, we can gasp and say "oh no!" or some such idiotic thing. :)

Perhaps you are simply molding your own "perfect bride" in your head, one which fits the standard of a fictional hero. It might be hard on you when you grow older and realize no one can really be that perfect, but I'm sure you'll eventually come to terms with it...

When I was younger I was always hoping to meet someone of the fictional variety. Someone who would climb the wall and talk to me while perched on the windowsill. (stop laughing) I believe what you're going through is a fun phase that you should enjoy while it lasts.

I think I answered both questions, buuuut I'll give you a suggestion as well. Fictional characters that you love will always have flaws that you'll adore, which in reality you might not. Still it won't hurt to go and meet people. A real person is much more complex than an imaginary character no matter how "fantastical" the latter sounds. Fall in love with fictional characters, and at the same time try dating! What you should stop is imagining "the perfect one" for now. She will come in due time, but for now ride the waves and enjoy. :D

Oh dear I hope I made sense...

Answer 2

1) It's pretty normal, and I don't know if I'd describe it as a phase. I know some folks who are quite happily married with children who have emotional attachments to fictional characters or long-dead authors (Thoreau, Marlowe, Woolf).

2) In the end, maybe you fall out of love, maybe you don't, but you usually become more interested in something or someone else. Doesn't sound like you're anywhere near ready for a serious relationship. I think you know this intuitively, and these fictional preoccupations are a bit of a safety valve for you right now.

It's not really unusual to be fifteen with no girlfriend. If you had no female friends at all, I would be concerned about your development, unless you go to an all-male school. But if you don't yet, all is not lost.

Work on appreciating the real people in your life for who they are. Work on your friendships with all kinds of people. You might even analyze what it is in these fictional characters you find appealing, and look for those characteristics in real people you meet.

Your world is going to get a whole lot bigger in about three years. Hang tight until then. You got nothing but time!

Answer 3

I understand completely and I don't know that I agree with what most people are saying. I'm an attractive 26 year old married woman and I'm in love with several fictional characters all played by the same actress. There is something about her personality that I'm deeply in love with the problem is it's hard to categorize what it is I love. I'm trying to find someone who makes me feel that way in real life. I would recommend analyzing what it is you love about this character and see if you can find a real life person who makes you feel the same. Good luck.

Answer 4

I think what you are going through is way to cope with loneliness, your mind is creating these thoughts to prevent you from going off the deep end. Don't feel bad your not alone, Im 25 and never had a girl friend and find comfort in being in love with a fictional character, for me its princess Luna. Sorry I don"t have any advice for this but just wanted to let you know your not alone and depression comes and goes. Look at it this way, you will have lots of time to get a job and save some money. Thats what I did and bought a house at age 22 and I just got a new 2014 4wd tacoma. Sure I get lonely and sad but at least I have a job and a roof over my head. Try finding a hobby to focus your mind on, I like to ride bmx, mountain bikes, paint, build and race scalextric slot cars, model trains, and restore old bikes. The thing is to always have something fun to do to keep bad thoughts away. Good luck hope you feel better.

Answer 5

1. Yeah, I'd say it's pretty normal. It's just like how most teens have crushes on famous actors or models and plaster their picture all over their rooms; those people are falling for the image and imagined traits of that person, it has nothing to do with reality. You will grow out of it.

2. Try spending more time with real people. Not necessarly dating them (although you could, it will help with your relationships down the road to know how they work, you don't have to have sex just because you are dating). Having something else that will occupy your time and mind will make you forget the fictional character.

Answer 6

Okay, I daresay this is a very common and powerful phase that happens in our generation. I myself am 15 and have gone through this phase countless times. It can be very devastating, which can become a potential problem, but I agree that you should have fun with it until you have found someone real that you want to be with, that is, unless you're like thirty-something years old and are still falling in love with the power puff girls (that was what came to mind. dumb example XD). If you'd like an example, so far my number one deepest fictional love is Marceline the Vampire Queen. If you don't know who that is, she is from Adventure Time. But I think that--and this makes total sense--falling in love with a fictional character is just a dream fantasy of what we want in the real life. But that doesn't mean you will never find love. just recently I fell in love with this English girl from Liverpool and all those fantasies were just *POOF!*--gone. Now, as being rejected, and thinking about this now, this seems totally correct, I gradually fell back in love with Marceline :/ I myself have never had any girlfriends, thus causing me to believe that falling in love with fictional characters is a sort of comfort as to either being denied or seeing everyone else falling in love and seeing the perfect matches. Fictional love is a resemblance of the person we want to be with. And going back to your second question, like I said earlier have fun with this fictional love thing because once you find true love, none of it will matter. It'll dissipate immediately. It's not an instinct and it is not a conscious decision. Your mind instantly reboots without warning to fall in love with this real person. And as a suggestion, if you want to find an easier way of finding someone that you actually love, finding a pen-pal or someone living in a foreign country that differs greatly from our own is a great place to start! And kudos to you for wanting to be with the number one someone. Be proud of yourself for that! It's nice to know I'm not alone on that either XD

Answer 7

I think I would cut yourself some slack. I was deeply in love with several characters I read about when I was a young man and I more or less got over it. Although at 59 I still have a major crush on Sigourney Weaver. A behavior that is maladaptive or "bad" is one that interferes with what you want to or expected to do. If you find that you are badly depressed or that this interferes with something important then you might want to talk to a mental health professional of some type. However, I would think it over first. Remember that no one but you can decided when this becomes a problem. When and if you decide this seek out someone knowledgeable to talk to about it.

Answer 8

I am love with Freddy Fazbear and Satsuki Kiryuin....so since I see in comments is not too unusual...I'm happy to hear because I was about to post a similar question. I'm become a love freak of fictional characters.....i mean...those two characters I spoke...I would show my love sexually.

Answer 9

I think it's perfectly normal. I'm the same age, actually I JUST turned 16, and sometimes have the same problems. I'm glad you asked this question because I needed it answered as well. I even make up characters once in a while. (However I DO have a girlfriend) Just hang in there and don't worry too much, it's just a emotional thing.

P.S. You can e-mail me ([e-mail]) about any other questions you may have!

Answer 10

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RE:
Falling in love with fictional character?
I'm 15 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. Not because I couldn't find one, but because I'm waiting for the real one that I will marry with and lose my virginity with. I don't want to have a girlfriend just because it's cool or something. I'm waiting for the real...