My best friend is a gay male and I'm a straight female. I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't know how because I don't want to ruin or friendship and all!! Help!!
2006-10-31 03:25:02 · 13 answers · asked by JenniB 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
That happened to me - and things went down hill fast - to the point we haven't spoken since. I mean it was awful, terrible.
It is easy to love our friends - just love him - don't be in love with him.
2006-10-31 03:38:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you Miss JenniB. I have done the exact same thing. I fell for my best gay friend. It took me 7 months to actually tell him how I felt. I finally drove over to his house one night and told him how I felt. He told me that he didn't feel the same way, but wanted to remain friends. And to this day, we are still great friends. I didn't care that he was gay or not - you can't control who you fall in love with and there were SO many times where I thought he did like me - we have an amazing connection that sadly he doesn't want to anything with it. He did tell me that on one of the first "dates" we went on, before I knew he was gay, he told me that he thought that I could be the one, that I could be it, but then thought about it and said that in the end it wouldn't make him 100% happy. He said "maybe in 10-20 years I might realize something different" but of course I cannot wait that long... but who knows. He is my dream - he is the face to the man in my dreams and it still hurts that he can't love me the way I want him to.
My advice: Tell him. You've got nothing to lose. If he is your best friend, then you won't ruin the friendship at all... you'll just give him something to think about and once you tell him, I swear you will feel so much better about everything.
Good luck, best wishes, and Happy Halloween!
2006-10-31 12:20:17 · answer #2 · answered by love earth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go there. One of my friends (straight female) did this and it almost ruined our friendship. We didn't talk for weeks. It's not worth it. Just be his friend and find someone else to love. I know it's hard, but loving someone who will not love you the same way back can hurt, trust me, I know. It will be better for the both of you to back off and consider other possibilities.
2006-10-31 11:50:04 · answer #3 · answered by JR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about that. Don't go there if you want to keep his friendship. I know is hard but only if you think you can not pretend anymore is when you should talk to him about it. But if you are really best of friends then he might understand and not take it too hard.
2006-10-31 15:36:38 · answer #4 · answered by dudettejj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you tell him anything? HE'S GAY!!! It probably won't ruin your friendship but it won't go anywhere. What, you think you can change him? Doubt it. Tell him if you want, but it won't make a difference.
2006-10-31 11:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well unless you want to have a sex change operation, you are out of luck. You can't make him straight. Just continue to be friends
2006-10-31 11:29:09 · answer #6 · answered by orygunduk1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he'll probably just laugh. i've had close girlfriends who've done the same thing. it's cute. but i just tell 'em that I don't do biscuit, and they just have to deal with it... LOL!! it's cool, and not that big of a deal to a gay guy. it happens.
if your friend reacts stragnely, then he has his own weird issues. i've never had an issue with it...
2006-10-31 11:45:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you fell for him is security. You know he cannot and will not return the love or commitment. This also insulates you from the pain of breaking up... think about it.... deep down it's boils down to fear...
2006-10-31 11:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by Marshall Lee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a gay male lover, he recently married. So people can change.
2006-10-31 11:36:46 · answer #9 · answered by Thomas S 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him, maybe he also likes you, no gay is a gay at all...you dont have nothing to lose, but tell him you dont want to lose his friendship if he doesnt want to, and that you apprecitate him anyway it could be.
2006-10-31 11:29:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋