I have been married for nine years and love my husband very much, but I have been having a secret on line romance with another man. It is something that started in an inocent way, but has now gone onto a lot of sex talk and exchanging of some pictures. I want to stop but haven't. I'm not sure what to do? I love the fun of the secret romance but yet I think I have gone to far to tell my husband.
2006-10-31 03:22:00 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's just an online thing. If you never physically meet, there's no harm in it.
2006-10-31 03:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by polli_d 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Honey, do you want your husband or do you want this on-line romance? It's that simple. Do you think your husband would like your being emotional involved with another man? You need to stay off the computer, and hope this man leaves you alone. Your marriage is at stake.
I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you said you love your husband very much...I am going to have to question that. Because your husband may not feel very loved if he caught you at this. How would you feel if he had a on-line girlfriend? This is so wrong, and it's a thousand wonders that your husband hasn't caught you at before now. I would say goodbye to this other man, and never do it again. Don't put yourself in a situation that this could happen again.
What you do is this----drop out of site. Don't have any more contact with him. And pray this guy will let it go. Delete everything and anything to do with this guy. Changed email addresses, whatever ways you communicated with one another. Hopefully, he will take the hint, and just go away. You don't tell the husband, it's just going to break his heart. You have got to forgive and forget, and start anew today, Don't put this off. Because every minute you delay, could a minute more that your husband starts questioning or wondering. PLEASE if you do love your husband, do this now. It's impossible to know if he could forgive you, especially with the pictures, so do it now! Honey, you made a horrible mistake, and you have got to fix it.
Have the fun and secret romance with your spouse? Spice things up a little, Try new things with him! Call him to meet you at a resturant. Have a hotel room ready with candles and wine. Jump him when he comes home from work. If you love him, spend all this time that you have given this other man, to improving your life with your husband. You can make a difference. I pray that you take heed today, and do what you must for the sake of your marriage. That is if you truely love him...ask yourself some hard questions..then do what you have to make things right....
God bless you all.............
2006-10-31 11:56:43 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only a single/lonely man will tell you that there's nothing wrong with what you're doing, because he obviously doesn't know how to treat a woman. Evidently there is something wrong, or you wouldn't need complete strangers to validate your ideas, thoughts, or behaviors. You need to think about the fact of your hubby doing the same thing. Would you be okay if he was having a secret romance with another woman? Maybe he already is. You need to evaluate whatever it is that you are missing at home in your 9 year marriage and tell you hubby about it. That way, he can provide you with what you need. Otherwise, you'll keep feeding into this online fantasy you have w/ the other guy. I hope you work it all out.
If you still don't think there's anything wrong with what you're doing... tell your husband.. see what he thinks about it.
2006-10-31 11:31:15 · answer #3 · answered by JustAskin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've answered this kind of question too much, but here you go.
It takes year to REALLY know someone.
The other man is only showing you the side of him that he uses to attract women.
I assume you know and love your husband
As for the other man I think you are "loving the chase" or "secret romance", but you really don't know him yet.
When you are able to go to the bathroom with the man in the same room you really know each other (I KNOW THIS IMAGE KILLS THE IDEA OF ROMANCE).
So you are asking if you should toss away a man you know and love for someone that you really don't know yet. It a gamble, the other man could be a better OR a big loser when the passion dies.
Marriage takes work and a good marriage take more work and a happy marriage takes a lot of work. If you don't put the work in you will not find it with any man (your husband or the other man).
THINK ABOUT:
Does the pleasure you're getting balance out the pain you will cause? (to your husband and to yourself)
2006-10-31 12:33:48 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the problems with the Internet is that people feel that can explore some sexual fantasies without cheating; they see it all as a fantasy world that lies outside of reality. In truth, your relationship is very real, and you are an unfaithful spouse. A relationship does not need to be physical for it to be considered inappropriate. Luckily, it is easy to ignore emails, and stay away from your virtual lover. Your online relationship may have seemed innocent at first, but it is putting a strain on your marriage. I would end it now, and keep it to yourself.
2006-10-31 11:28:55 · answer #5 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it all in the name of fun and entertainment? You haven't acted on any of these fantasies, so I wouldn't go overboard on the guilt trip. If you want to stop, then just stop. You don't owe the online guy any explanations. Secondly, you'll do yourself and your husband harm by trying to explain this stuff to him. Just let it go and carry on with your life. Trading pics is the only real worry. You probably wouldn't want you pics to show up on the web somewhere, right? So, I'd be careful about sharing.
2006-10-31 11:33:50 · answer #6 · answered by seattlego 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lady! This is a dangerous path that you're following, but you need first to find out about the reasons that lead you to this situation.
Is your husband abusive? Is he out of shape? Is he not romantic enough? Is he not sexualy active? find out those answers, then you can determine the outcome.
Since your husband does not yet, this is the perfect time to appoah him and demand what you think you might get from the other person that he isn't giving you. If it is fantasy that you have or curiosity etc..talk to him about it while having wine etc..
2006-10-31 11:54:49 · answer #7 · answered by Joe Cap 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, that is called cheating but if u havent gone to next level like going to see this person then u are good just stop it now and keep that secert to yourself and dont ever ever do it again,and when your husband come home today bput on a costume and rock is world and keep playing a different person or rule everyday for the rest of your days with him u owe it to him!
2006-10-31 11:31:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop the secret romance. If your husband finds out he will be hurt. Is the secret worth your marraige?
2006-10-31 11:25:59 · answer #9 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mabye you could feel your husband out. Suggest the situation to him. Mabye he wouldnt consider this cheating. Do you still want him sexually?(your husband) cause if not you are in trouble girl!!! If you are its just a fantasy. I probably wouldnt have sent real pictures of me to some guy off the internet but too late now right!!
2006-10-31 11:29:34 · answer #10 · answered by runzwsizorz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thou shall not commit adultery. You are heading for it It may break up your marriage and surely the Lord will punish you. Throw out the secret romance before you get thrown out of your house
2006-10-31 11:27:47 · answer #11 · answered by R C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋