I have finally spoken to my close female friend(she's decided to reply finally) and we are meeting on Saturday. We are going for a walk in the country and then to a country pub for dinner.
How do I bring up the subject of 'us' especially as she see's the subject closed. Do I tell her how I feel about her, give her a ultimatum?Surely she can see that our friendship is something more. How can i get her to open up? For her to say how she's really feeling?
What if I told her that I really wanted to kiss her? Should I try to hold her hand?
Help! Want to resolve this....
2006-10-31 03:13:07 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
PREVIOUS INFO:
My friend has told me that my close female friend believes that I’m dating another girl, who's quite a looker and that she’s happy for me! At the same time, she has been acting weird (feeling down,tired,can't approach other blokes) towards me, gone cold, not wanting to meet, not saying much, practically ignoring me!!!-didn't have argument/falling out. Is she feeling jealous? My behaviour towards her has not changed since I’ve ‘started dating’ this girl, only her’s towards me. A coincidence?
Does this show that she actually fancies/has feelings for me?
p.s. I’m not dating anyone, the looker is only a friend who I don’t fancy at all, have feelings for my close female friend.
What can I do? I don't want us to drift apart and don't want to lose her! Help...
2006-10-31 03:13:24 · update #1
PREVIOUS INFO:
The last time she opened up, she told me that:1)She cares about me a lot,2)thinks about me a lot,3)can only open up fully to me (no one else), also told me many personal stuff from her past 4)really enjoys spending time with me (one on one),5)she only wants to txt me at certain times,i.e after a long day/travelling home. When I told her I felt the same (as above), she said she don't see me in that way and nothing more would happen! Couldn’t give a reason why we’re not together.
She has said there's nothing there-how do I get around this?She also said this is resolved...
2006-10-31 03:13:41 · update #2
Sunnygirl-This has been going on for months, I do know her quite well and she agrees with. If I just wanted to get laid, I would have done by now.Please don't judge me-it's not about sex and she knows that.
2006-10-31 03:51:48 · update #3
I agree with much of what's been advised to you ......
I think you should have a long and frank discussion with her - tell her you need her to understand exactly how you feel and what you think of her - tell her you understand she may not now or ever feel the same way about you but you need her to know how you feel - so she will never need to feel alone ... if she only wants to be friends - then tell her that's ok too - that you can love her as much as a friend .... tell her there is no-one else on this earth that makes you feel the way she does - but if all she wants is friendship then so be it - you would rather have the best friendship in the world than no relationship at all with her ... tell her it will be hard for you - but you will do it for her because you care so much ..... tell her you would never do anything to hurt her, and that includes her worrying that you might try to push the friendship you have further than she wants it to go - tell her that would never happen .... unless she wanted it to....
I'm sure she will feel a lot happier about your honesty and happy about knowing EXACTLY how you feel AND that you respect her enough to respect her feelings and wishes ......
I wish I could find someone like you .... I'm 49, been single for 81/2years and never yet met someone like you .....
Do you have a brother(!)?........lol!
2006-11-02 08:05:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always say that men don't seem to listen. I'm so sick of a man pursuing me, after I've told him over and over "we'll never go there". We're friends, that's it. And I Mean it. There could be a number of reasons this young lady doesn't want to go there with you. I'd suggest telling her the truth, that this other lady is not your girl friend. Then I would build on this friendship with the lady you're interested in. If it doesn't get romatic, would that be the end of the world? I don't want to be seen as a sex object. Sometimes with men it's all or nothing, black or white, no grey area. Why not just give it time, and get to know her better? Men often do not use their heads enough. ( I do not mean to categorize), but as a lady, this is how it often feels. Give her time. I think it's obvious she needs time, she may have a lot on her mind. When and if she's ready to open up she will. I wold not pressure her, and diffenately not give her an altimatum, just treat her as a human being in her own right. Forget the chase, and just get to know each other. This is just my opinion. What's the big rush? I only hear you speaking of what you want. I don't think I'd want to go out with you, you sound a bit selfish to me. What gives you the right to pressure her? What if she had a traumatic experience, and she wishes, things could be different, this could explain the way she acted. You can't force someone to talk, they can only open up with someone who doesn't have an agenda, or want something from them, but treats them in a non-judgemental way, and will always accept them just the way they are. #1 are you being her friend? It's sounds to me like you're looking to get laid and that's what you care about.
2006-10-31 03:34:18 · answer #2 · answered by noface 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe in honesty. Go ahead and meet with her and don't hide your feelings because your afraid she may turn you down, the only way to really know what's not only in her heart but in her head is to talk about it. Ask her why she feels the subject is closed, let her know once again how you feel and also tell her your not certain she really feels their is nothing between you. Don't be afraid to tell her how you feel, you may be right she may feel a bit jealous about the other girl, also she may be beating herself up with the thought that you probably slept with the other girl too. You should to be honest with her in order to get the same in return. If you think you might completely lose her by admitting to sleeping with some one else , I could only say use your best judgment. I personally feel she's playing hard to get with you at this point , because she's hurt . Make your eve out with her magical anyway, a real girl loves being treated like a Princess. Good Luck.
2006-10-31 03:33:04 · answer #3 · answered by Lissy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing you are a young Aussie bloke. So I will answer you as an Aussie woman. Mate,, in all seriousness this girl is playing you, she already knows how you feel about her, that's why she is stringing you along, then making excuses not to be with you or not to see you.
You sound like a real sweet guy, and unfortunately, this girl wont know what she is missing until you really do find the right girl for you, and not interested in her anymore. Just get on with your life, if it makes you feel better stay friends with her, but by the sounds of it this is all one sided and you come running when she needs you, and sit and wait for her when she doesn't. Is that fair, i don't think so, she is wasting your time, when you could be out there looking for your real life partner.
2006-10-31 03:25:32 · answer #4 · answered by bubba1pup 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was a read & a half!
Yes I think she was jealous otherwise why would she have been acting differently towards you. But maybe she was jealous because she thought she'd lose you as a close friend & won't be able to talk to you like she used to. If she has already said nothing more will happen that's a pretty big clue to a casual onlooker but you know your friend & if you think she's holding back for some reason then you need to really talk to her about it. Maybe she thinks if she goes for it with you & it doesn't work out she'll lose your friendship, explain to her that won't happen unless she really hurts you or vice versa! I'm a real crappy talker & I find it easier to write things down, try writing it in a letter, I know it sounds childish but you're only going to get one chance to say this to her & you aren't going to want to mess it up by getting your words muddled!
To sum up, yes, talk to her, maybe she's worried about taking the risk!
2006-10-31 03:33:44 · answer #5 · answered by C Greene 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you have to chill the f*ck out. She will run a mile if you are this edgy. Maybe start by saying "Right, I want to tell you how I feel about you but am holding back because I don't want to ruin our friendship". See what she says then take it from there. You will be fine, you already get on so well with her whatever the outcome is you can either get it on or work out how to deal with it. Tell her first though - that might be all the prompt she needs to let you know how SHE feels. Nice setting by the way, hope the weather holds out and you get the face snogged off you!
2006-10-31 03:22:38 · answer #6 · answered by rondavous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL I acted the same way when a male 'friend' of mine started seeing someone so I can say for sure it was because she is jealous.
Just tell her how you feel, women love honesty we hate men who play games and you never know where you are with them!
You sound incredibly romantic and to go to such lengths as get advice on Yahoo Answers is really very sweet.
2006-10-31 03:30:39 · answer #7 · answered by DippyGirl78 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take things slowly....don't rush her....You sound quite young so you've got all the time in the world...It might turn out that if you get intimate that you really don't like it....just make sure of your own feelings before you take it any further!!! You don't want to lose her friendship...that's so much more important then a quick roll in the hay!!!
2006-10-31 03:21:50 · answer #8 · answered by prettywoman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's confusing to declare...her habit ought to be because of the fact she fairly likes you and desires to be extra effective than acquaintances and did no longer are responsive to it until there became the perceived danger that somebody else had snagged you away...or it ought to be which you're her "backup" plan or a "you will do to hold out with until I meet the applicable guy" and she or he's bummed now that she is now no longer the midsection of your universe. by way of all ability, try broaching the subject depend of her emotions and your emotions, yet while she stands corporation on it being a closed undertaking and you're merely acquaintances and she or he does no longer choose to be something extra, then you definitely will in easy terms be torturing your self in case you decide on extra and she or he would not and you should be arranged to maintain on with by way of in case you provide an ultimatum...you are able to finally end up having to renounce the friendship.
2016-12-09 00:18:48 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah hun , you just need to sit down together in a quiet place ( somewhere with no interuptions!) tell her how you feel, but be ready to take her reasons on board if she doesn't want a releationship. she must have some incline as to how you feel so don't worry about it too much, try writing things down on paper and giving her it to read if you don't feel comfortable telling her yourself. good luck !! hope all goes well x x x
2006-10-31 05:56:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋