I believe my friend is a closet lesbian, and feels comfortable to "come on" because we trust each other. It's all very subtle at this point, but I definitely feel the vibes and I cannot reciproate her feelings, so want to know the right way to let her know without losing her friendship as well.
2006-10-31 03:09:48 · 9 answers · asked by paanbahar 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hmmm... that's a hard one and alot of things might go through your mind (i.e. same-sex relationship, friendship-relationships, etc...). First of all, if you are not into a same-sex relationship and do not want to experiment in that area, then don't do it; no need trying something that might hurt a good friendship. Second, if no#01 is a potential variable, I think that you two would have to atleast discuss the item. If it is left bare without any discussion, it will just linger until something happens or not but the tension will continue until then.
I recommend communication and patience. If you are more open with what you are feeling (... GOOD & BAD ...), then the tension will bleed away. If YOU TWO are patient and respect each other beforehand (... which would be a very good discussion on "IF-THINGS-HAPPEN"....) then if you place limits on things beforehand and say "no", then there should be no hard feelings afterwards.
That's as good as I can get with this one.
W.
2006-10-31 03:16:49 · answer #1 · answered by Wyndell R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here is your options, just make sure you two are alone so she doesn't feel embarised:
1. tell her you are going to hook her up with a man, if she refuses the offer then you can asume that she is a lesbian.
2. Ask her when is the last time she has been with a man, and why she aint got one.
3. Don't worry about it, if she is one then she'll come out of the closet when she is ready.
4. If you know a lesbian, ask the lesbian to make advances toward her.
That's all I got. If none of these options sound good enough then I'm sorry I can't help.
2006-10-31 12:06:13 · answer #2 · answered by milky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know she's not just natually flirtacious?
I have a wonderfully close friend who's like that all the time. That's just how she is. She's not a lesbian at all.
I'M the lesbian and she "comes on to" everyone, even me, but I know she doesn't mean anything by it.
Maybe you should feel flattered insted of threatened.
2006-10-31 11:15:01 · answer #3 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a problem! I would never have believed or even thought I would have a relationship with a male friend. It happened, I felt guilty the first times, but after that it started to get to feel normal. I don't care for dirty talk and that turned me off a couple of times. I also don't have relationships with all my male friends. Some of my gay friends say look at that hunk and the hunk to them totally turns me off.
2006-10-31 11:31:45 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she gets flirty enough or does anything overt, give her a big hug, tell her you love her unconditionally but that it's a platonic love. Then maybe talk about yourself and listen to what she has to say. It may just be non-sexual flirting, or it may be more. Right now, you do not know, and she very well may not either.
2006-10-31 11:34:39 · answer #5 · answered by Alex62 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a girl I went to high school with came out recently after we graduated and one night we were at a club and she attempted a pass, I told her that although we had grown up together since kindergarten and gone through high school together I considered her a great friend but did not share her feelings beyond that....
she wasn't bothered or offended....
2006-10-31 11:13:44 · answer #6 · answered by shana j 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she were a true friend she would already know how you feel. Sometimes it is better to be honest and just let her know what is going on.
2006-10-31 11:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by mellijenk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her. make it clear that you have no intentions along those lines.
if you are a Christian, skip the "sin" BS; if she is a closeted lesbian, that's the last thing that will help her.
2006-10-31 11:14:45 · answer #8 · answered by kent_shakespear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask her. Then, if she outs herself, tell her you will pray for her. Rember, hate the sin, love the sinner.
2006-10-31 11:12:41 · answer #9 · answered by Spirit Walker 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋