Can you really walk away from someone you love?

Question

She insists she still loves me but we remain separated because she says I hurt her so badly (with unkind words during a breakdown) that she can't trust me again, believes I despise her (SO not true), feels ugly and rejected, and is "frozen". Surely if she loved me she'd forgive me? Is it possible to stay away from someone you love?

Answer 1

sounds like she should run not walk

Answer 2

Yes you can walk away from someone you love because words do hurt despite the popular myth "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." You indicated that you said unkind words during a breakdown, so the question is were there occasions prior to your breakdown that you said unkind words and did not apologize for them or apologized for them and said them again in a short time afterwards. I believe you are not telling the whole story because if she feels that you despise her and she feels ugly and rejected, and is "frozen" there had to have been an number of things that contributed to these feelings. Yes she can forgive you, but she doesn't have to be with you or even communicate with you after she has done so.

Word from the wise: Just because you love someone does not mean that you will tolerate anything. She may have stayed around for a while just because she loved you despite how you treated her, but there's only so much a person can take. In addition to that, you have to love yourself enough to know when someone is decomposing your self confidence and walk away so you don't end up hating yourself for staying with someone who does not respect you.

Answer 3

Apparently she was really scared by the trash that came come out of your mouth! Must have been pretty raw!! We really do always hurt the ones we love the most. (BEEN THERE DONE THAT HAVE THE T-SHIRT) But, to answer your question, she could still love you. Mabye she just has a great deal of respect for herself. This is good. Too many woman have just taken it up the *** for centries being treated unequally and that just isnt the way the world works today. She is really better than that and now she taught you a wonderfull life lesson! If you really do still love her and dont get her back you would be wise never to treat anyone in that manner agian!!! Am I right or am I right!!

Answer 4

If you really hurt her that bad I am sure it will take time, patience and hard work for you to earn that trust back. If you really love her you can hang in there. Sometimes we take people for granted, and after a while it becomes a habit. Maybe she's tired of being taken for granted. I'm sure you are sorry for whatever you really did, but it looks like sorry isn't enough. You will have to show her that you don't think she's ugly and rejected. You have a lot of work to do. Good luck.

Answer 5

It depends on the situation, because sometimes when someone does something wrong to someone else, its up to the person to decide if they should forgive or forget them! You really need to talk to her and find out what's going on. Hopefully, both of you can get some therapy or see a relationship counselor so both of you can work something out! I wish you the best of luck! If it doesn't work out, walk away and move on! It may be very hurtful and difficult, but in the long run, you deserve better!

Answer 6

Dude you must have said something really really hurtful to achieve this reaction. Yes sometimes women can get a little over emotional about things but for her to be "frozen" you must have said something beyond nasty. I think that you can kiss this girl goodbye. Even if she does still love you it doesnt mean she HAS to forgive you. Sometimes the best thing that can happen to a girl is this. Even though she's hurting now it will make it easier for her when some other @sshole goes to far with his words. Maybe you guys should learn to think before you speak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

Unfortunately for you, it is very possible. Although she may still love you, she is aware of the fact that a relationship can never move forward without trust. How can she be with you, if she does not trust you? It is quite possible that she will learn to trust you again, but if she cannot move past this, she cannot stay with you. You will have to give her time, and hope that she learns to trust you again.

Answer 8

No not at all. if you truly love someone there is no way in He*l you can stay away from them. i think that she just deson't want to hurt you by say she doens't love you. she doesn't really know what love means if she still says she loves you but won't get back together with you. that's not love. you forgive and forget. believe me and my fiance have been though he*l back and and we are still together and i love him with everythign i have. we have done some horrible things to each other but we have forgiven each other and moved on. that's love.she doesn't really love you if she won't forgive you for some words. you need to move on and find someone that really loves you.Good Luck

Answer 9

Listen when we say hurtful things to someone whether on the receiving end or giving it really takes time to feel good about that person again. She needs time and if that is what she is asking for then give it to her.

Answer 10

sounds like there's more going on,her self esteem she doesn't seem to believe you anymore.She is hurt an probably won't feel the same towards you anymore.....time heals,maybe it is good for both of you to see if a seperation changes your feelings,otherwise it will be like walking on eggs,worry ing that you'll say or do the wrong thing.Good Luck

Answer 11

Sadly sometimes it is required to seperate regardless of love. It's like a pet dog, you love him and feed him and take care of him. But when he bites you or your children you have to make him see he is bad and teach him to change. But if he don't learn and keeps biting and hurting you and your kids, no matter how much you love him, you have to get rid of him. Because he obviously isn't learning and is repeatedly hurting you and your children. Because you love this dog, do you continue to allow the dog to hurt you and your children? See, if someone is hurting you over and over and never even tries to change, you really are allowing their behavoir and allowing your self torment if you don't demand change and stand by it. Ever heard of the song by Heart "Sometimes love Just ain't enough"? It took me a long time to understand this song. Just because someone loves you don't mean you get a "free get out of jail pass" when you hurt them. Love is not just a word of emotion but also a word of action. You not only tell someone you love them, but show them through your actions. And when your actions show opposite of what you say, it is hurtful and very confusing. After so long of dealing with hurtful words and actions, you start to become "numb" to it all. And when you realize that what he says does not affect you anymore, you get scared. Your scared of fighting it, scared of changing it and afraid of who you've become. It took a bad arguement to set me off to the point of no return, I exploded. Once my mind was set, there was no going back, no more living like this. She is at that point and waiting for some coarse of action. Waiting for you to get help/counseling. Waiting for you to prove your worth to her. Wanting you to come through, but afraid it never will change. She is right in saying you broke her trust, how can she trust you with her feelings? How can she trust that you won't try to emotionally destroy her? Trust goes beyond sex. And I will say, that having lived through verbal abuse, he might as well of hit me. Because all the bad hurtful things did just that to my self esteem, to my logic, and my world. And a bruise heals alot quicker than the emotional havoc created within myself, all the self doubt. So to answer your question, yes, because that is the only way to force change, force a better life for him and me. Whether we are together ever again or not. Good Luck & God Bless!