was it my fault?? (female only please)?

Question

hey.
im 15 and a few months ago i went out with a lad aged 17 who had a bit of a bad reputation after being with him for a week he pressured me into having sex. during it i kept telling him to stop but he wouldn't he just kept saying he loved me i was scared afterwards so i havn't told any one what happend my close friends know ive slept with him but dont know that he forced me i keep having flash backs about it and just want to know is it classed as rape or was it my fault??
ta xx

Answer 1

This is called date rape. It was clearly his fault and not yours if you kept saying no and to stop. He pressured you into sex when you weren't ready.

You need to realize that this is HIS fault and not yours, and you might consider talking to someone professionally like your school counselor or by calling a rape hotline.

Answer 2

I know you said females only, but I feel compelled to give you some information.

Yes, it will be considered rape. Even if you start willingly and then change your mind. Once you begin to say no, he is supposed to stop.

I also want to give you a bit of advice if I may. Please be more careful in the future. If he has a bad reputation, stay away. Try to avoid situations or places where such things like this could happen if you are not willing. I understand that it could be difficult, but for your safety please try. You did not give much information on how you ended up with the guy alone, so I will not say much more.

I recommend that you seek some counseling before you report it because the process with the police can be difficult for you. A counselor or other professional can help you through the process of reporting while minimizing your pains with the process.

Answer 3

That's rape girl. It doesn't matter if you went with him knowing he had a reputation or whatever. The fact that you told him to stop and he kept going makes it rape. Don't keep it a secret, tell those you love and who love you. They can help you get through this traumatic experience. Don't keep quiet and let another girl end up in your situation as well.

It may also be good to go to a counselor or a women's rape center to find other people who have been raped and have someone you can talk to who understands what you're going through.

Answer 4

A guy pressuring you to have sex is not your "fault"
Only you know if it was rape..I tend to consider rape as a guy attacking you and just going for it (not to be rude)...you seem like you were dating him...it was TOTALLY wrong what he did and I am sorry since I also have a daughter 16....I would want to know personally.
Try and see what part you played and how it could have been different if that's possible (just to stop the thoughts of it).
I hope you used protection or he did at least.
Anyway...sorry if this doesn't help much.....Really your parents and his should know but beyond that...I really am unsure.
Take care :) xxxooo

Answer 5

We all make mistakes. Yours began with even talking to him, but know that it ended when you told him to stop. That's where his mistake began. Yes, it is rape. If you say no, that means no. Stop, too. Even if your naked and had previously agreed. If you change your mind and don't want to give it to him, then he must respect that and comply. Don't feel like its your fault or that you have to keep this quiet. You obviously are disturbed by the whole situation and he was wrong. You don't need to be having sex at such a young age, though. Wait until you're in a serious relationship. But I would definitely tell my mother or some one trustworthy to get it to the necessary people.

Answer 6

yes in fact that is rape and you need to tell someone what happened i'm not sure if you can even make a case against him now since you've waited so long and there are no witnesses

unless there are signs of force still on you. if you had told someone earlier you could have gone to a hospital and gotten tested then they would've arrested his punk ***. next time ohh God don't let there be a next time just punch him in the dick or the B@LLS. just get away from that creep

OR BETTER YET

don't inform the law. just your older brother and the older brothers of some other girls he's done that too. and let them settle up out of court(stomp that kids @$$) if you know what i mean

Answer 7

There is no way that this is your fault. Even if you agreed to intercourse prior to the act, if you said no, you said NO. This is something that I would definately talk to authorities about, or a school counselor, your parents, any adult figure you know and trust. This may not (legally) be considered as rape, but it is definately something that needs to be addressed. Since you are having 'flashbacks' and seem concerned about it, it would be wise for you to talk to someone. Most areas have a rape crisis line, crisis center or domestic violence center. call one of these places and talk to them... they can keep it confidential (unless you sound like you are in danger) good luck, and i am sorry that you had to go through such a terrible experience~!!

Answer 8

Where I live, and in most States 15 is jailbait. You're not of legal consensual age, so no matter what you agreed to it is still considered rape. Just be sure about what you want to do, once you open that can of worms you can't put them back in? Have you thought about talking to your mom about it? If you can't tell her, then can you tell a complete stranger, or the police? If so, your parents will have to be informed at some point, you should talk to your mother about it first.

Answer 9

A woman has every right to decide when to stop sexual overtures. just have this at the back of your mind. Altho u did put yourself in a rather unpleasant situation by going out with him even with his bad reputation. In a court of law the lawyer might just argue this away cos u niether screamed nor struggled, nor did he hold a weapon to you. You are young and many times we do make silly mistakes. Its left for you now to decide if you'll want to make this public and live with the probability that he'll be supported which is usually the case or u just go ahead with life. Learn from this and never make this mistake again

Answer 10

It was definately NOT your fault.
And it was rape because you told him to stop.
Please confide in a best friend that you can talk to.Some guys are total jerks & should be in prison.Please dont ever get yourself in this kind of situation again,,like,,dont be alone with anyone until you know them very well,,&when you are older.Dont blame yourself,,you are young & unaware of some of the ways of the world.You learn from this & go on.Life gives us many lessons & thats what makes you stronger.If you feel that you need counciling,,get it.If you want to press charges on this person,,do it.If you want to give him a piece of your mind,,I strongly suggest it.He took advantage of you.Im so sorry.You will get thru this,,I promise.