Women how would you feel if your husband asked you to have a abortion?

Question

You love each other and have a great marriage you already have 2 children but get pregnant with twins he says that he can't cope with 2 more children right now how would you feel?
What would you do?

we have 2 sons one aged 8 yrs and the other 9 months we both work full time i work nights he looks after the kids and he works days

Does it mean he doesnt love or respect me
because that's the way i feel now

Answer 1

My parents were in this situation when I was about 6 and my brother about 4. My mum ended up having an abortion.

While the ultimate decision must be yours, your husband does have the right to express how he feels about the situation. Equality and communication cut both ways.

PS An abortion is not 'killing babies' and people giving advice along these lines are simply increasing your pain and confusion.

Answer 2

I would be grateful that I had a husband who felt he vould share his innermost feelings with me.

Abortion is such a scary and emotive thing but probably not so scary as bringing two new lives into the world. You know how much hard work children are and so does your husband, I think he should be applauded for saying that he doesn't think he can cope.

But ultimately the decision is yours. It is possible that you could feel guilt for aborting this pregnancy but you have to look at the possibility that your husband is right and two more kids is just not a great thing for your life right now. I have had an abortion afte becoming pregnant ot my long term partner and it was scary but I am now very glad we took that decision together. But it has to be together - this is not something you can have second thoughts about or use against each other. He can never say that you forced him into being a father to these babies nor can you say he forced you into an abortion. Time for some serious heart ot hearts I think.

Answer 3

I've learnt that posting questions regarding Abortion on here is a bad idea, people give opinions when they really have no gounds to base them on.

People start harping on that it is murder and will accuse you of all sorts just for contemplating it!

Take my advice, don't listen to these self rightous, narrow minded and judgmental idiots.

You are the only person who can make the decision, I had an abortion just over 7 months ago, and trust, me it is the hardest thing you will ever go through.

Your situation is different to mine as you already have children, although it is in some ways the same because it was my partner who wanted me to go ahead with the abortion also.
I felt pressured and forced into making my mind up. I saw no other option as he would have resented me and the child if it had gone ahead and I didn't want to bring another fatherless child into the world. Plus financially I would have severely struggled.

You need to think of how having twins would affect your children you already have and obviously there are the finacial issues.
You must also keep in mind how you will feel if you aborted them, it is a very difficult emotion to deal with and every woman feels it differently.

But I want you to remember that there is always support out there and other people do manage to bring up unplanned children just as happily as planned children. Also bear in mind that hundreds of women have abortions every day and it can be the right thing for some individuals.

I don't want to sway your decision in any way, you need to talk to your husband and quick because as you know those first few weeks go by very quickly.

I wish you all the best and hope you make it through this in one peice.

Know that you aren't alone.

Answer 4

No i don't think it means he doesnt love or respect you. he just doesnt feel he can cope with it. maybe you should talk to him more about it. But also decide what you want if you want the twins then tell him, if you do go ahed and have then maybe one of you should give up your job for a bit while the twins are little. But ultimately this is your choice no one can tell you what to do you have to decide for yourself If i was in your situation i really dont know what i'd do. Good Luck

Answer 5

firstly i think you know what you want the min you look at that positive test, what ever is said after that really is not going to change your mind. I think if you love each other that much you will work through it. my friend has two boys one 3 1/2 the other 18 months, she gave birth to twin girls yesterday so it can be done. you need to decide if your relationship is strong enough for anther 2 babies also is it strong enough to go through an abortion. would you also want to give up work? threes a lot to think about but only the two of you know how your relationship is and how strong you all are as a family. how would your oldest child feel and would you still be able to do everything for your youngest. i think it is easier for a man to suggest an abortion because its not his body that is going through it all and his body were the baby is growing. but it is still his child so it cant be easy to suggest. i think you really need to talk it through it may be a harsh conversation but its not an easy decision. xx

Answer 6

I got pregnant 2 months after our first child was born. He asked me to have an abortion because we didn't hsave insurance and we "couldn't afford it". I felt strongly that I didn't want to and that as a married woman there was certainly nothing wrong with having a baby - in wedlock so to speak.

I went ahead and had the abortion because he was so adamant and forceful about it. Two weeks later he went out and bought each of us a new car - cash! So much for not being able to afford another child.

The long and short of it is that we were married for 18 years and ended up having three daughters in six years. We divorced last year. It turned out that he had been cheating on me virtually since the year we married and he was trying to find a way out and worried about how much child support he would have to pay, thus is reluctance to have children.

Answer 7

Slow down ! I'm a guy and sometimes we panic, and then regret what we say. What do you want to do? How far down the track are you. If you know you have twins from the ultra sound then an abortion is pretty serious.
Sit down and talk with him perhaps hes worried about the financial demands find out waht concerns him the most and what he doesn't feel he can cope with.

Answer 8

I think it depends on the all over circumstances, you both need to talk it through completely before making a decision. you need to discuss things like can you afford them, do you want the added responsibiltiy what would it mean to both of you to have these children.
you already have 2 children so do you want anymore. whatever decision you come to you both need to agree 100% that its the right one for both you and your current children as if you dont it could end up breaking up your marraige and then you would be left a single mother of 4.
whatever decision you make good luck and dont mind what anyone else thinks its yours and your husbands choice and nobody elses everybody will have a different opinion but its yours that counts at the end of it all.
good luck
x

Answer 9

I would be completely gutted. At the end of the day both of you made the twins and perhaps he should have made his feelings of no more kids well known BEFORE you got pregnant and he could have taken precautions. You need to have a serious talk to him and discuss options. If you don't want to have an abortion don't let him talk you into it as you will have to live with your decision (and he will have to live with it too). As the mother it should be your decision in the end. Good luck.

Answer 10

both of you should have not fallen pregnant.both of you have serious questions to ask each other.can you both afford 2 more children? can you both take the strain of 2 more children?can your other 2 children live with yous whilst this is all going on?also will you have time for 4 children and each other when the twins are born. the abortion is really your wife's choice. if she does will . will you have the snip?if she she says not will you stay or will you leave her and your kids.in the end no-one can help you with this. you and your wifes choice. look at the bigger picture. good luck.