Is it best to leave the 10th grader with the higher breadwinner or take them with you when you don't make enough money to survive on your own -- way, way, way below poverty earnings? The abuse is on and off, mostly daily emotional abuse, but physical abuse sometimes, not enough to leave marks due to history in law enforcement, just enough to tear muscle and disable me so I can't leave and support myself.
They also get their family members to abuse me emotionally, put me down and make me feel like crap whenever I see them. Even my own children make fun of me to the point where it doesn't seem worth living anymore. Where can I go for help? They won't let me speak to a primary care physician about the depression because (their name would come up) so I am stuck with nowhere to turn at the moment. I just can't think of where to go for help so that he doesn't find out.
2006-10-31 02:45:30 · 15 answers · asked by C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't you ever let anyone treat you like that. You are a human being not an animal. You deserve to be treted with love and respect. You need to get out now. Take both of your children and go. I know that money might be tight but I'm sure that welfare would be ok for a while. You need to get out now. What gives him the right to do this to you. He is now having a big influence on your children. They think that because daddy is doing this then it must be ok for me to. You need to go to your court house and talk to the chamber magisrtate because something needs to be done now. They will be able to give you more advice leagally on what to do and where to go, but please do this soon. You as a human have a right be be treated better and have the right to protect yourself and your offspring. If you need more help or want to talk plz email me rachelewis01@hotmail.com anytime. Don't be affraid to leave him. Once your gone he can't hurt you anymore.
2006-10-31 02:53:41 · answer #1 · answered by rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pack your and your children’s things and get the heck out.
It is not healthy for children to be that type of environment. You need to show them by example that abuse is not acceptable. Women’s shelters where created just for this reason. Just because your partner is in law enforcement doesn't mean crap. Report his butt and deal with the consciences. Stand up for yourself and eventually you will gain your self-respect back and the respect of your children. He is not worth taking your own life because that would only prove that he has won, don't give him that satisfaction.
So what if you’re going to live below poverty level for a little while. If you have to go on public assistance for a little while just so you can make ends meet, go ahead, do it, you can always pull yourself up, by finishing your education and getting a better paying job.
Don’t let this asshole mess with you ever again. Take control of your life and don’t settle for the abuse because you don’t think you can’t make it financially without this asshole. You are worth more than that regardless of how you may be feeling at this particular point in your life.
You are woman and I want to hear you roar.
2006-10-31 03:13:39 · answer #2 · answered by cubangoddess73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are laws that a physician must follow called the Health information Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) which does NOT allow any health care worker to share your information with anyone. Clearly, you must get help and starting with your family doctor and abuse helplines would be the best place. These individuals can begin to document the abuse so you can buid your case. You must be able to be healthy for your children and be a strong role model for them. Things will not be easy but you can go to a safe house to get back on your feet and they will help you rebuild confidence and self worth. Perhaps you have a close friend or family member you can stay with as well.
If you have a daughter you would never want her to experience this type of relationship and if you have a son, you certainly wouldn't want them to think this is how one treats their significant other. You have plenty of places to turn in the community, you just have to believe that you deserve the help they will give you.
I wish you the best of luck. Don't continue to allow yourself to be the victim, you can change your situation, and you deserve to be respected, healthy and happy.
2006-10-31 02:59:33 · answer #3 · answered by seeyoulater 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the hell out of there before he kills you, Your life is worth more than what he is giving to you. Go to a womans shelter in your state, or province and they will help you . How old are your children? Has he ever abused them, if yes take them out of there .Your there mother they should always respect you and love you, no matter what. You said that he has a history in law enforcement, thats how he knows how to hit you with out leaving a mark, but still tearing away muscle and still leaving you so that you won't be able to support your self. Leave him he is one of the worse type of abusers out there, he gets his family to mentily abuse you and hes teaching your children to do the samething. The law will protect you and he will have to pay for it , don't take it anymore you are a person that deserves to be loved and cherished and protected by thae man in your life. Please get out and get your self some help it will only get worse for you if you stay. Don't let your kids know what you are doing just get some help at a near by womens shelter and they will tell you what you need to do and what will happen . You need to look out for your self because no one else in that family will. The lord is on your side and he will never leave you, beleave in him and he will guide you for the rest of your life. I will be praying for you and please write back so that I can know how you are doing .My prayers are with you.
2006-10-31 03:06:50 · answer #4 · answered by BASHFUL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the children are safe with him. I think it would be OK to let them stay there until you get your act together. I personally could NEVER leave my children. Which is probably why you have let this go on for so long. There is help for you out there. Call the police station and find out.
Then just put one foot in front of the other and DON'T stop walking....Girl you deserve so much better than that!
2006-10-31 02:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by Littlebit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really sucks. Your biggest obsticle is the fact that he's in law enforcement. Take the children who aren't making fun of you to a shelter in another town (far away from him would be good) and try to rebuild your life starting there. Your husband is a jerk, and a monster. Life will be much better without him, even if you don't have alot of money, you will have no one to hurt you like that anymore. Good luck.
2006-10-31 03:13:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a place called the beman home ,they take in women all the time you get your own room and noone knows where you are,not to mention,I went through it and it is hard but you dont want your children growing up and thinking that this behavior is acceptable because its not. Hes got you where he wants you and your staying.......LEAVE.....there is always another way your children are the most important thing and they need to see that you do not treat any woman that way.....I finally didnt care anymore and I left....you can leave while hes gone....dont take everything only what you need........and get out.....he has no right to treat you this way and his family is inabling him to do this to you....there no better..dont fool yourself..the tenth grader is already following him dont blind yourself ..get out..take them with you....get counseling for your son and yourself.....theres always away....you dont even have to go to the beaman home,family,a long time friend and shelters,do what you have to do.....
2006-10-31 03:10:42 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your pain. I KNOW what the best thing to do is. You need to get your gumption up and leave - by yourself if he is not abusing your children. If he is, then you must take them with you and get the judge to order temporary support until you can find a way to get enough money to support yourself.
His actions are destroying you and they will not stop - they will escalate. You know that, I think. I could never tell of my abuse because my ex was a lawyer from a prominant family. He told me that if I reported him he would lose his law license and never get a dime from him - and that he would kill me if I caused him any professional trouble with the law. His fam,ily knew and did not intervene on my behalf (or for our children) because they too were afraid of him. I managed to make arrangements for him to get psychological treatment at a facility out of town, but his father went up the next day and took him out against medical advice and took him on vacation - told him that I would cost him his career with my insisting that there was something wrong with him beating me and emotionally and sexually abusing me. Sick situation.
I managed to get out after many years and have since built a life of peace and joy with another man who cherishes and takes wonderful care of me. You will too - I promise.
No woman deserves to be abused. It's time to take care of yourself and to do that, you need to get out of there and not look back. It's very hard, but you can do it. Lean on other women, I learned that more of us have gone through it than you would ever think. We will look out for you too.
God bless!
2006-10-31 03:13:23 · answer #8 · answered by Dovie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you can change things. begin writing a journal of everything that happens to you. because of his ongoing conduct, make it as detailed as possible, do this for a reasonable amount of time. save as much money as you can without him noticing it. in a separate bank account. when you have enough to begin legal procedures against him. go to a lawyer with the journal . look for a lawyer who is feminist in nature, and aggressive. set date for papers to be filed. then using any joint credit cards you have get the max cash allowance possible on them and transfer funds to the accounts you have been using for a savings. your sons education will be handled in part of divorce proceedings. while your doing all of this go back to school or take a course in something that will improve your chances of employment afterwards. by doing this you will be improving yourself and rebuilding the self esteem that he has been destroying in you over the history of the relationship.
2006-10-31 02:54:49 · answer #9 · answered by redsyoungstud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a place to go, call social services, they'll tell you what to do. they will hide you. i know you love your children but if they would be better off with him, then i would let it be, always know that you will love your children, it's not against any law to leave them when your life is being threatened. the only one that can take care of you "is you"
2006-10-31 02:53:44 · answer #10 · answered by nobody 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋