Are you tired of all the excuses also?

Question

Cheating spouses - They tell you you made them do it, they tell you what they need and want you to do to make the marriage to work when they do not do anything to save the marriage. Im tired of being played the fool - are you as well?

Answer 1

a cheater when they cheat have already discounted the relationship with the spouse to the point that the spouse does not matter any more. that it the first truth about cheaters/ the second it that they really don' care what their spouse feels, because if they did they would have not done it in the first place. its only after they get caught that they pretend to care, because they finally see just how much it might cost them.

Answer 2

Cheating Spouses will make as many excuses as you allow them to. These are people who don't want to be held responsible for their own actions/choices.
(get a clue here parents.... don't allow your children to sluff off their personal responsibility for choices they make or you raise such an adult)

Bottom line is that no one makes you cheat. It's a CHOICE only YOU can make. If your marriage isn't working out and you've gone to your spouse/parnter with all honesty and told them what you need and they ignore your needs then you move on the right way.... You become single. It's not difficult to do things the way they need to be done. You have the rest of your life then to be single and have whatever relationships you choose with other singles.

Commitment to one person is a CHOICE. Not everyday is going to feel like your anniversary unless you choose for it to be. Pretty cut and dried.
Can you remain in love with someone a lifetime? DEFINATELY. You CHOOSE to and you act every day as if it were your FIRST date!
Believe me, it becomes habit and you will get in return what you give, most of the time. Noone is perfect and one partner may not be as responsive as you wish they were everyday... This is when you will have to hold the two of you up. THAT is what commitment is all about. That is loving someone in the good times and the bad.... BUT it definately goes for both partners. One person can only hold the two of you up for so long, so don't be selfish or you'll find yourself deservingly single.

Now, do NOT mistake my words... I am not advocating staying in an abusive commited relationship at all. That is an absolute NO NO... regardless. If you are being abused emotionally or physically, etc... it is your abuser that has the problem...NOT YOU and you lay down that line. DO NOT allow them to tell you that you deserve such inhumane treatment. Abusers are famous for that and that is part of their abuse.
It doesn't matter WHAT your partner does or says....EVERY PERSON is responsible for their own ACTIONS. Period... There is nothing to argue or debate about there.

So, do not allow yourself to be played "the fool" any longer. If they choose not to participate in their own relationship than definately move on. It's emotionally difficult for the first 6 mos. and then it does nothing but get better. You cannot make someone love you and those who don't love themselves simply are incapable of loving anyone else. Don't agonize over the "thought" that they may fall in love with another and have what you two didn't.... It's no longer your concern and you HAVE to take on that reality and attitude or you will lay on that couch making yourself suffer while the world passes you by.
Do what you need to do to free yourself and apply that past relationship lesson to your life so you can just improve your next relationship..... and when you're ready, you'll begin to smile again and feel the warmth of the sun on your face....and it'll feel wonderful... :o)

Answer 3

This is NOT going to be a popular answer... but I'm so sick of these questions. Yet another "poor me, my spouse cheated and since I'm so perfect I don't know why"....It takes two to destroy a relationship.... and generally speaking, infidelity is a symptom of the problem.... not the problem itself. If your partner has told you what they're lacking, and what you can do to make things better,.... and if you've blatantly dismissed it like you have here... what do you expect? It's about communication. Have you given your partner the same, and told them what you need? Or... let me guess.... you were perfectly happy and had no idea there were problems??? A little self realization would be a good place to start.

Answer 4

Yes! Get out of there as fast as you can. Sounds like someone went to see if the grass was greener and it wasn't. You cheat, you go. Once you ruin that trust it's is nearly impossible to regain. Why didn't they opt for marriage counseling or try to save the marriage rather than blame you for the failure? They are weak and can't take the heat for something they very obviously did wrong. It is not your fault.

Answer 5

I haven't been played as a fool, but I am very tired of the cheating questions that are asked in here. So many of the people who ask questions sound so incredibly stupid. It really makes you wonder.

Answer 6

If your cheating spouse says "you made them do it"....then you should say well, "you made me do this" and then Kick them right in the head. They would have to understand after all they have experienced the "you made me do it" syndrome first hand.

Answer 7

im not sure if my mate (g/f) is cheating on me, but she sure gives all the signs. i am tired of women who give men great sex in the beginning and then expect a man not to want more that putting his penis in her and getting off. i want a woman who does not play the stupid games. to me this is worse than cheating.

Answer 8

Cheating spouse blaming you is emotional manipulation - person has no real remorse and no respect for you. Get out.

Answer 9

They just put the blame on you so they can feel less guilty for it. It's always there fault for cheating and not coming to you to talk things out with you!!!!

Answer 10

I am tired of the dysfunctional relationships in yahoo.