My husband knew before we were married that I would never get along with his friends, that was clear from the beginning. Their lifestyle isnt one that is the least family orientated. Now, some still call and some call only when they need to borrow money and it is a constant source of arguments that we have. They are the only problem our marriage has and I need help getting the issue resolved. He is also in total agreement that they are no good and also agrees and understands that they can't visit or be around our children. HELP, how do I get them to just go away?
2006-10-31 02:16:19 · 9 answers · asked by sammie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Before we got married he didnt talk to them, well I guess he did but he did a really good job keeping it hid from me. He also promised me the day we got married that he would stay away from them and stop talking to them. I believed him and now they are a constant headache!
2006-10-31 02:22:57 · update #1
THEY ARE HIS FRIENDS, MAN, GIVE THE GUY A BREAK!
I am a woman but I also understand men and friendship pretty well. He is NEVER going to totally let go of his friends. They are blood. They have been through many, many things together. The best thing you can do is let him have his friends. This is not nice but the reality is that he loves you but his friends will be there for him when you are gone. And they will be laughing about how whipped he was and how glad they are your finally gone so they can go on with their lives.
I know it is not easy. My husband has a friend I do not like either. But I am not going to loose him because of that. Just try really hard not to be a b*tch. It gives his friends more ammo against you!
2006-10-31 02:29:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't marry a man because I despised his friends so much. There were other reasons, but I dated this one guy for 2 years and he wanted to marry me - I wasn't ready - but I also couldn't stand his buddies. They were all partiers and I felt uncomfortable around them. Knowing they'd be in his life forever was enough for me to say NO WAY. You should've said the same thing.
Now when I did get married, my husband doesn't hang out with any guys. He likes to be with me and our families and that's it - and I am so relieved!!!
2006-10-31 10:19:07 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband feels the sameway,and means it then he needs to stand up like a man and let them know how he feels about them.It sounds like they are just useing him and to me thats not a friend so let them go.But one thing i would like to say is that no mater how bad a person seems or looks ,there is good in everyone ,sometimes we have to dig real deep to find it but its there.Good Luck
2006-10-31 10:29:07 · answer #3 · answered by tiny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gotta tell you it is very hard to seperate men from their friends. It is their one source of freedom and you may not like them but you have to adjust that they are not going away and maybe if you stop arguing over it so much the problem will go away.
2006-10-31 10:21:39 · answer #4 · answered by postal_marg 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just snap. Maybe if you tell them off your husband will support you. He doesn't like their behavior either so maybe he needs you as an excuse to push his friends away. Think of it from his POV. He may want to get rid of them, but how to get rid of friends that go back?
Just tell them and maybe they would stop liking you or something. LOL if they do stop liking you they would stop visiting and calling.
2006-10-31 10:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by jussgee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He has to end the friendships, as it sounds like he agrees with you. Maybe just change your number, I am not sure that you can move- but that might be a good idea. Sounds like he has out grown these people, and wants to move on. He needs to tell them this. It should not be on you to end the friendships.
2006-10-31 10:20:31 · answer #6 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do not care for my husbands friends, but they are his friends, not mine. he is a grown man, and can make his own choices. my friends are my friends. I just ignore them for the most part. and I do not associate with them.
you need to take a mature attitude about this situation.
2006-10-31 10:32:05 · answer #7 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try being less of an inflexible nag. he tolerates your idiotic and cackling hole friends
2006-10-31 10:20:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
WELL IT LOOKS LIKE UR HUBBY ISNT KEEPING HIS PRONISE WHY DOESNT UR HUBBY JUST CHANGE HIS # AND HIDE FROM THEM
2006-10-31 10:52:47 · answer #9 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋