What would you do if you discovered your daughter was working in the sex industry?

Question

My brother recently discovered one of his stepdaughters 18yr old friends , both are seniors in high school, was working as a dancer in a recently opened gentlemens club. His stepdaughters boyfriend's, friends went to the club and saw her. With the influx of strip clubs in our area more young women are turning to these places for quick cash and a way to move out on their own as soon as they turn 18, most of these young women have been having problems at home or school. As far as we know her parents do not know, she lives with a roomate on her own so we do not know how much contact she has with them. As every young woman dancing in these clubs or acting in sex films are someones daughter, how would you react if it was one of your daughter/sons friends or your own daughter ?

I'm not even sure she is on talking terms with her parents, she walked out of the house two weeks before her 18th never to return. My brother can find out more info from his stepdaughters boyfriend, his stepdaughter keeps mum.

We chose to stay out of her buisiness, it just makes you think about our own daughters. 18 yr old women are in huge demand in the sex industry and it's obvious they get enough takers. I still believe once a son/daughter turns 17 parents need to establish a good adult relationship with them that will continue in life as the clock moves quickly from 17 to 18.

Answer 1

I would be very upset and hurt, but with them being 18 there's not much you can really do or say except that its their decision and if its what they want then ok. Reason why I say this is because if you tell them No they can't do that they will move out and do it, if they are already moved out they will no longer talk to you stating they are 18 and they will do as they please. So either way you go your going to left behind. So support them on their decision. That doesn't mean you have to agree with it.

Answer 2

Womens rights changed drastically in the last 40 years In the 1960's women pushed for equality among men, thus changing the position of the house wife, to in essense to two men running the houshold. Then soon after the feminist movement women even became more agressive and not only was equal rights not enough, but the whole idea of "I deserve the world and will settle for no less". The word settle for my mate became a sort of failure in womens eyes. Womens needs and wants have also become to exorbanan,t anything less than perfect is grounds for divorce. Divorce no longer was looked down upon, mostly because the amount of people that were divorced outweighed those that were married, how can the majority be wrong? Marrige has ben degraded, but it's just that it's all you see is failure. This is also the first generation that have seen their parents divorced and thus take a less than important role of standing strong when things get tough. Men have always been able to suck it up when things are down, women have and uncanny ability to get up and run. Whether it's you "lost that loving feeling" or just plain bored. Sorry if I just kicked some woman in the nuts :) But in honesty that's the only thing that has changed in relationships... do you have another explination?

Answer 3

this just goes to show you what overly strict parenting can do to a child. A relationship with your parents between the ages of 15-17 is so crucial. Why can't parents just be more of a friend with their kids at this stage? Although this doesnt apply to every child, I certainly believe that establishing an environment that promotes talking about what's going on in my childs life and their friends is a better way for communication. Guidance is necessary, but should not be hurtful or done in a way that singles the child out. Parents seriously need to understand that their kids will someday be completely out of their control. I hope they consider themselves fully responsible for what they have turned their daughter into.

Answer 4

I've actually thought about what I would do if my daughter did that. She wants so much I worry she will turn to that when she's old enough. I dont think I'd like it (in fact, I know for certain I wouldn't like it).

I guess the thing is, this girl is of legal age, and so really can not be prohibited from doing this, but she should still be made aware of the consequences of this, for her psychological well-being. I hope her parents can still "be there" for her, even if they dont like her choice of jobs.

Answer 5

i would slap da heck outta her, but since she's 18....... then we'd have a big talk. I'd tell her that since she's 18, she can either leave, start paying the rent, or qiut her job as a hoochie, and I would get her a decent job . or mayb u could set her up like how they do on talk shows where the kid gets kidnapped by a criminal(who is actually a police officer). They get blind folded, brought to the show, told all the horrible things that will happen to them, then the blind fold is taken off. this helps the children realize what danger they are putting themselvs in. Or maybe you can make her feel filthy by not wanting to touch her(like shake her hand) or touch anything that she touched.

Answer 6

Well first off she's 18 so you can't really do anything about it. She's old enough to make her own decisions. I don't see anything wrong with a dancer, but if she were a prostitute then the'll be an issue with that. I'd sit her down and have a talk.

Answer 7

We set the best possible precedents for our children as parents, but there are no real manuals on parenting. If our best was not good enough to set a good example for our children, once they are adults, the choices are theirs and there is really not very much we can do if we don't want to push them even further away from us. The best thing a parent can do is to to be there for his/her daughter/son and to provide as much love and understanding as possible. Yelling and screaming doesn't solve problems, but listening and talking does.

Answer 8

If all she is doing is dancing then what is the problem, it can be a good way to make quick money if you don't mind people leering at you. If she isn't just dancing then it's her choice if she wants to muck up her life and her parents don't care then that's her problem.
I doubt she would be a bad influence, her friends may even get her away from it.

Answer 9

I would shake her hand and tell her it is great that she is now working and not mooching off her parents. I wouldn't suggest telling them either if she wants them to know she has a mouth and could tell them herself I'm sure. If she is eighteen then she is old enough to make her mind up about what she does or does not want to do for money. It is now her choice and she is paying her own bills so why complain or start family trouble when it really has nothing to do with you nor your own life

Answer 10

i would go up there and drag her little a** off that stage and throw her and the car, and let these people know how old she really is and call the police on the club. and take her home and talk to her letting her know her body is something precious and only suppose to viewed by her husband,and let her know them men and the clubs are nasty and they probably got something and they want to past it around that's why their at the club, trying to hit on them young girls showing them money because they know that's y the young girls are up there, and let her know she have to respect her body cause if she don't no body else will.