I have a perfect son and I want to have another child which my husband does not. I dont want him to be alone. I lost both of my parents and I have siblings that I am so greatful for. My husband has siblings that aren't married and not looking to have children. My neices and newphews from my siblings are so much older than my son by like 10 years. Am I being selfish or am I being logical??
2006-10-31 01:53:12 · 21 answers · asked by fungirl 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you want more kids than you want more kids. I don't think that's being selfish..although I have to wonder; didn't you and your husband talk about how many kids you wanted before you got married?? The only reason I would think you are being a little bit selfish is if you knew he only wanted one child and you agreed on that. Also, whose to say he gets to make the final deision? That's selfish on his part. My husband and I wanted like 2-3 kids and now that I'm pregnant with our second my husband insist that 2 is it..and my thought is that he doesn't get the final say because this greatly impacts my life as well. I don't want a third child at this point in time but for the guy to say they only want a certain number and it will be their way only is totally wrong.
2006-10-31 02:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by ktpb 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Logic has nothing to do with wanting a child. I think your reasons are very common.
However, this is one of those things in life where both parents have to agree. In this instance, the person who's saying no has to win.
If you want to base this decision in logic, consider this:
What would my husband's reaction be if I were to get pregnant? Would he stay and resent the baby? Would he leave? How would those reactions affect my family?
You don't say how old your son is - it's possible that your husband will change his mind at some point. If you want him to, however, don't badger him about it with constant reminders of what you want. That's not to say that you shouldn't talk to him - you should. Ask him what his objections to another child are. Listen, don't argue with him.
Chew on what he says. Are there solutions? Are his concerns legitimate?
This is one of those really tough things in life. I wish you luck in facing this problem.
2006-10-31 02:01:52 · answer #2 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey I think your being rational one child by its self becomes selfish self centered and to be blunt what is the big deal if you have one two will give you twice the love. Tell your husband what I told mine I own this body and I will decide how many childern I want to have he is only a part of it and if he don't like it then there are lots of men out there who would love to be a sperm donor count on it he will shut up and put up lol if not then all I can say he isn't the man you thought he was lol
2006-10-31 02:11:23 · answer #3 · answered by yahoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being selfish, you are acting like a typical mom. I just had my daughter 7 months ago, and I would like to have another already.
BUT, you do need to come to an agreement with your husband on this. If you go behind his back and get pregnant, he will feel alienated and betrayed, and the baby may suffer for it. (I know you didn't mention going behind his back, but it does go through one's head, doesn't it?) On the other hand, if you give in to him, you will feel like your needs aren't being met. So compromise is the best idea here. Maybe you could wait a year? In a yar he may be more conducive to the idea of another child.
Good luck and take care!
2006-10-31 02:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by ♥♥♥ Mommy to Two ♥♥♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your being logical and a mother. I am lucky that me and my husband are on the same page we have 4 going on 5. we wanted a big family ,because we grew up in big families. you always have some one to count on be bad with share secrets, you can have a great relationship with your parents but its not the same when you have brothers and sisters, ask any body who was a only child yeah they had every thing they wanted but were lonely.siblings teach each other how to share,get along with others, be greatful, love. and fight each others battles. i know you saw cheaper by the dozen.
2006-10-31 02:19:11 · answer #5 · answered by hazelnewton2000@verizon.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This subject is to be discussed with your husband. Ask him why he feels the way he does. He may have a substantially good reason why he doesn't want anymore children. It is not that bad to be an only child. Think of it this way, if you have only one child, you can provide so much more for him than if you had two or more. One is only selfish if one doesn't want to listen to the opinions of others especially those closest to us.
2006-10-31 01:59:47 · answer #6 · answered by HGS 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're being reasonable for wanting a second child. Hey most people in the world feel the same way you do, a very small percentage have only one.
Why doesn't your husband want a second? Do his reasons make sense? Does he just want to wait longer to have a second one or does he not want a second at all?
2006-10-31 02:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little of both, and at the same time neither.
Give your husband time to come around to your way of thinking.
Remember, if you are meant to have another child, it will happen.
In your eyes, you are being logical, in your husbands, selfish.
It's all a matter of perspective.
2006-10-31 02:05:16 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're being logical but you should be on the same page with your husband on something that's as a big a deal as this.
2006-10-31 02:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by Miriam Z 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are being selfish, but you and your husband really need to discuss this issue thoroughly before you make a decision. Make sure you tell him all your reasons and listen to him, also. Then maybe weigh the pros and cons to this subject.
Good luck!!!
2006-10-31 02:03:19 · answer #10 · answered by ASHESLYNN812 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋