My boyfriend still speaks to his ex and i accept that because they were together a long time and split up on good terms but recently i went down to by where she lives and she called and when she found out i was there she wouldn't come over instead she moaned at my boyfriend but now she won't stop calling him everyday and seeing if he's okay and tellin him he's got to sort himself out instead of keep coming to see my he needs to knuckle down!!! There isn't even a problem with him he goes to work etc!!! Why is she being like this i wouldn't mind meeting her getting on with her etc but i don't like the phone calls he has everyday and they aren't quick calls either there 15-30 minute calls!! I appreciate my boyfriend telling me cos he could have lied to me but why can't she just let him be and let him get on with his own life instead of tryin to rule him still and acting like his mom!!!!
2006-10-31 01:51:30 · 15 answers · asked by ~*~SwEeTnEsS~*~ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just tell him. Say "One of the things I love about you is that you are the kind of guy who can still be friends with his ex. I think it's great that you can still talk. I just wanted you to know that. I also wanted you to know that sometimes I get a little uneasy and a little frustrated when she calls every day. I know she pressures you about knuckling down. I know how hard you work and I'm not sure why she keeps pressuring you. I love you and I know you'll understand that this bothers me a little bit. I'm not sure why it bothers me, it just does. I think that you should talk to her sometimes if that is what you want. I just wanted you to know how I feel." Then just leave it at that. If he is the kind of guy that he needs to be. He'll start shortening those calls out of respect for you and the relationship you two have. If he doesn't...It might be that he has way too many unresolved feeling for her.
2006-10-31 02:07:29 · answer #1 · answered by soccermomw3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's calling cause she broke up with him and now that she sees he really is ready for a relationship, she now wants him back. I'm dealing with the same thing, only my problem is they are still legally married but separated now for 5 years and out of those he has been living with me for 2 of them. But instead of calling him at home, she calls my hubby at work that way she "thinks" she's keeping her phone calls a secret. Worse part is, I DID go see her and talk to her. Didn't alleviate the calls at all, instead the phone per week went up, not down.
There's not much you can do to stop this. Only person that can is your boyfriend. Tell him to knuckle down and pick his friendship with her, or his love with you. Cannot have his cake and eat it too. And being on friendly terms does NOT give her the right to call everyday.
2006-10-31 01:56:51 · answer #2 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend seems pretty clever to me...."she won't stop calling", "she doesn't want us to be happy,", why oh why?!! Read your question back to yourself...do you really perceive her as the problem? It's your boyfriend that has made to choice to keep her in his life...and if that's okay with you then you don't have a problem. But if you agree that this man has a brain and has made choices that are agreeable with him (and disregarded your feelings on the subject) you may realize that you have the option of walking away and letting them continue their relationship. You have gotten sucked into the thought process that her needs take priority over your needs.
2006-10-31 01:59:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First ask him y they keep communicating, there could be a little one involved.? If u have real feelings for him then just tell him exactly how u feel about the phone calls. N if there's no little one involved n he can't quit talking to her, then let him go" he never deserved u in the first place!"
2006-10-31 01:59:11 · answer #4 · answered by Kandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if that was my boyfriend i would have dumped him a long time ago. i wouldnt want my boyfriend to be talking to his ex!!! u need to get out of that relationship because in the long run u might get hurt. the only reason she is calling everyday now is to make u mad. tell ur boyfriend that u need sometime apart, go out and have fun dont look back.
2006-10-31 01:59:59 · answer #5 · answered by mustangsweetthing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all he did tell you but what's the point of her calling and telling on you she should grow up and act her age she doesn't need to moan about you being around the vicinity she should grow up . As for him just tell him he needs to chill on accepting all of her calls it's o.k. maybe just once a week . Not like there's no way of knowing who is calling there is a thing called caller i.d. now if he continues accepting calls then there's something to really reflect about this relationship. and consider is it really worth sticking around for.
2006-10-31 02:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by LIZA P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so being played! Dump him fast! He is to much of a child to let go of his ex, he basically has the best of both worlds. They will eventually get back together, she sounds manipulative and will probably stop at nothing to get him back. I would just walk away, who needs that drama?
2006-10-31 01:55:14 · answer #7 · answered by Flower Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone. If you do and he sees that you don't want to be bother by him and his pet than he'll wake up and leave his ex alone, thats IF he really likes and wants to be with you you know what I'm sayin? So just leave him alone for a minute and see what goes from there.
2006-10-31 02:00:12 · answer #8 · answered by Tia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
has he told her that he is with you? has he told her to stop calling him? those would be the questions i would ask. shes calling for some reason. i know it hurts, but dont confront her, shes probably mad because hes moved on but i would careful and take everything he and his ex says with a grain of salt. keep your eyes and ears open and use common sense.
2006-10-31 01:59:20 · answer #9 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not .. if he is with you it should only be with u understand taht that dose not work i have been with my ex for like three years that dose means im friends with her no .. couase memories always comes up .. i thnk u should stop leting him see her like siriously hee
later
Frizz
2006-10-31 01:55:40 · answer #10 · answered by ring_punk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋