How to get my husband to show me he still loves me? I want him to put effort into our marriage!?

Answer 1

Your moniker says a lot of what the problem is. You put a lot of effort into your kids. Men need babying too. I can't guarantee you that is the only issue here, but, sometimes, you have to make the first move. Pamper him and leave some energy in you for him.

Answer 2

After reading some responses and thinking about it, here's what I suggest:

1) Talk to him about how you feel and what you want. Be precise. Some guys use the dummy card and act like they don't know what's going on. I'd be hard pressed to believe that but just in case your guy has the emotional IQ of a doughnut, school him on just what it is that you want and need from him. If you think it will be hard, have some wine beforehand to help you through it.

2) If after a few weeks of your chat there is no change, demonstrate what you want. Be a little aggressive sexually - this doesn't mean overdo it, just be the first to initiate. See how he responds.

3) If after doing both of these things with a full-hearted effort and you get no response, leave house for rent listings lying around with some circled, and let him overhear you calling the cable company to find out when your new account can be set up at your new address. See if this sparks him up.

If after all this provides NO response at all, leave him. You've done all you can do. You didn't sign up for a loveless marriage.

Good luck : )

Answer 3

Sounds like you and hubby need to open up the lines of communication here and reconnect with each other.

You need to express to him what you need from him in the marriage, but at the same time be willing to accept that maybe you not are providing what he needs. Both parties need to accept responsibility and address the issues as a team. Only then can then you move forward and rebuild the relationship.

Get yourselves back to the basics, it is simple. Say "I love you" and mean it, do something special for each other without expecting anything in return (Just because), go on on dates again, spend quiet time alone with no kids.

Sure the kids come first most of the time, but not all the time. Make your marriage and relationship #1 sometimes and give each other the love and support.

Only by having all parties committed to making the changes can it work, they can't be forced or threatened in. That means a concentrated effort to change behaviors, breaking of habits and learning to love each other again.

Answer 4

Well you can't change a man, you can only change yourself and the man will respond to that. I know so because I am a man and I don't like it if my woman nags at me, it doesn't help me change. I found out that when my woman started changing herself, then I respond very well to it.

For example, if you do most of the cooking, stop cooking until he comes around. If he asks you "Where's dinner?" you say "I'd appreciate it if you ask nicely and give me credit for my cooking more"
Another example, is if you let yourself go. By that I mean you stopped taking care of yourself by wearing baggy clothes, no make up, etc- then it's time to doll up again. Wear nice dresses, put a little makeup or lipstick.
Another example, is lay on the bed an put fruit and whipped cream all over your body and call your husband to come in the room and he will find a nice suprise waiting for him on the bed.
These are just a few things to liven up your marriage a little.

Answer 5

relax, if he didn't still love you, he wouldn't be there. What kind of effort do you want? Romance? Talking about feelings? More than likely not going to happen. Been there. I just started treating this marriage like he does, and it works. You wont believe how easy and laid back it is. We talk about the sky is blue kinda stuff, and don't argue as much, and hey the sex is a lot better and a lot more often.

Answer 6

You can't make your husband love you. It is something he has to have naturally. I realized I had to change me first before anything can happen. Maybe the issues is me ya know. I try to change some things i thought he did not like about myself. I initated everything. You see witha man you have to show them in order for them to follow. Once they see what your doing they are going to want to follow too. I have done this in my marriage and you know its starting to be the way a marriage should be. We are not perfect but we learn as we go. We teach each other. I am sure he loves you but dont be so quick to blame him for the problem. Look at yourself before you make hasty decisons. I always keep that sign up in my mind.

Answer 7

YOu give and you get,...... you cannot sit down and pout expectinf for him to show you the love. Show HIM the love too! Having his dinner ready and his shirt ironed doesn;t count anymore at this point of your relationship.

Do things out of the ordinary and tell him that you would like for him to do the same to put the spark back in your marriage. It's hard work, but you must put and end to the vicious cycle.

Good luck

Answer 8

Ask yourself this question, r u expecting too much from him? Do u give as much love to him as u expect him to give u? As long as he has not betrayed you, that is a very firm sign that he loves only u. U shd support him in putting his effort into both of your future, if he's already doing that, then the degree of his love for u is way ahead then what u r seeing now.

Answer 9

Are you taking active steps to show him you still love him? Are you treating him with love and kindness, doing special little things for him to make him feel good about himself and about the 2 of you? That's a great start. Get him to follow by leading.

Answer 10

pay attention 2 the vibes that he is giving! maybe he is not what he used 2 b and that he is having a hard time dealing with it. he probably is waiting for u 2 light that fire in his heart , we as men when we think of romance we see dinner and sex, there are no gray areas in between,sorry 2 say if u want more YOU have 2 push and then he will pull.